by Carmine Pagano with apologies to Clement Clarke Moore

 

'Twas the night before Closing, we'll move out tomorrow
the buyer will be there, with money he's borrowed;



The belongings we packed by the front door with care,

In hopes that the mover soon would be there;



The realtors must be nestled all snug in their beds,

The visions of closing checks danced in their heads;

And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

 When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,



But a miniature Hummer, with eight forward gears,

With a little old driver, so lively and true,

It's that Realtor Carmine, he's brought a whole crew.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Lender! now, Lawyer! now, Mover and Title!

On, Appraiser! on Agents! That Inspection is Vital!

Fix the rail on that porch! Paint up that wall!

Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

 
So off to the closing the coursers they flew,

With folders full of papers, and that Carmine guy too.



And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,

Down the chimney that Carmine he came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

 

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!


A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

The closing will happen, I'm sure it'll work,

Even though your lawyer has been such a jerk,

 
He sprang to his Hummer, to his team gave a toot,

And off they all drove, to collect all the loot

 

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

"Happy Closings to all, and to all a good-night."