Have you ever wondered if you could be a commentator? Just never thought that you could put enough words together to make a complete sentence to make sense of it?
Well, I am here to tell you that it does not take a rocket scientist to be one. After you read this, you might want to finish that application for your commentators position.
Weightlifting commentator at the Olympic Snatch and Jerk Event: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing." Ted Walsh, Horse Racing Commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother." Grand Prix Race Announcer: "The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical to the one in front of the similar one in back." Greg Norman, Pro Golfer: "I owe a lot to my parents, specially my mother and father." Ringside Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries and even some deaths in boxing - but none of them really that serious." Baseball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again." Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces." At a trophy ceremony BBC TV Boat Race 1988: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is hugging the cox of the Oxford crew." Metro Radio, College Football: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field." US Open TV Commentator: "One of the reasons Arnie Palmer is playing so well is that, before each final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. Oh my God, what have I just said?"
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I burst out laughing at these and scared my wife as she jumped when I laughed out loud.