It's unbelievable, but I actually finished all my holiday shopping in November this year, thanks to online shopping. Well, except for one present. It's not that I don't enjoy fighting crowds, waiting in long lines at cash registers or sitting behind rows of cars trying to get out of the downtown plaza parking garage in Sacramento, but it's much more efficient to tap a few keys and watch merchandise show up on my doorstep.
One thing I have learned over the years is the closer it gets to Christmas, the more insane the crowds become. Since I knew exactly what I wanted to get my husband, I figured a trip to Macy's on the first day in December wouldn't be all that crowded yet. Besides, it would also give me an excuse to buy a new pair of jeans.
I marched right up to the watch counter and described for the sales clerk the type of watch I wanted. She showed me three brands, I selected one, and we were done.
Then I went to the second floor to look for a pair of black jeans. I should mention, for those of you who do not live in Sacramento, that the Macy's in Westfield Downtown Plaza is basically for women. It was built in 1963 and still stands in the same spot today. Weinstocks was later converted in 1996 to the Macy's Men's and Home Store, so if you want men's clothing or furniture, you go to the second Macy's store. But very few men ever visit the original Macy's. It's like going to my very own private girl's club.
I found a perfect pair of black Ralph Lauren jeans, with frayed bell bottoms and patches here and there. Hello 1960s. OK, upscale 1960s. I brought two sizes into the dressing room and tried them on. Size A, let's call it, was a little tight, but Size B was a tad too roomy. I threw Size B on the floor and put Size A back on. Still couldn't make up my mind. I took them off and tried them on over and over, probably a half dozen times. Size A? Size B? I could not decide.
Now, I can tell whether a home buyer would be happier with an East Sacramento home over Land Park homes. I can decide whether to go to Hawaii or Mexico without any trouble at all. I can choose between Diet Pepsi and Diet Coke. I felt like a moron, taking off the jeans, putting on the jeans, and being incapable of making a decision. Finally, I decided to buy Size B because Size B was more comfortable. I was worried that if I gained 3 pounds, Size A would not fit at all. It's a girl thing. Decision made.
I got home and discovered the jeans had that little electronic tag on it, which is next to impossible to remove. I tried once, and it involved sitting on the floor, smashing it with a hammer, dropping frying pans on it, and those things are built like Fort Knox. My husband tried to pull it off with a needle-nose pliers and, in the process, put a hole in my brand new jeans. Feeling guilty, he offered to drive me back to Macy's. As luck would have it, Macy's was out of Size B. No store anywhere had it. So I begrudgingly exchanged them for Size A. I wore those new jeans to dinner Saturday night. You know what? Size A was actually a better fit. Maybe I can buy jeans online now. Of course, in retrospect, I suppose buying both was an option.
Geez, I hope my husband likes his new watch.
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