Are buyers really liars? Or is it us...Do we really understand the importance of asking questions or better yet of asking the right questions?
Credit for this Blog topic goes to Tricia Jumonville , when she commented on my Dual Agency Life In The Fast Lane blog, it got me thinking and we started a discussion about whether or not Buyers are Liars?

I've had several experiences with buyers where the whole
truth does not come out till later and sometimes
that truth is a pretty important piece of the whole.
When I was a new agent my Broker told me that Buyers were indeed Liars.
But, I always had a hard time getting my head around that and felt that the fault really lies with us that we don't ask enough questions, the right type or in the right way... Questions that really matter.
Part of the reason why we don't might be blamed on fear...
I know there is a hard line..how far do you probe when you are not a buyer agent. Depending on your agency relationship obviously there are some questions you don't ask...motivation, financial without having first made the appropriate agency disclosure and received INFORMED consent.
One question though that we must all ask is required by Article 16 to our Code of Ethics:
• Standard of Practice 16-9
Realtors®, prior to entering into a representation agreement, have an affirmative obligation to make reasonable efforts to determine whether the prospect is subject to a current, valid exclusive agreement to provide the same type of real estate service. (Amended 1/04)
AND....
• Standard of Practice 16-13
(second part of 16-13)
Before providing substantive services (such as writing a purchase offer or presenting a CMA) to prospects, Realtors® shall ask prospects whether they are a party to any exclusive representation agreement. Realtors® shall not knowingly provide substantive services concerning a prospective transaction to prospects who are parties to exclusive representation agreements, except with the consent of the prospects’ exclusive representatives or at the direction of prospects. (Adopted 1/93, Amended 1/04)
So we must always ask...
When meeting buyers for the first time or talking with them on the phone we need to ask... If they are working with another REALTOR®. I don't know about you folks but I usually get a resounding No.
Sometimes...it's the truth but often it's not and I don't usually find out the truth until an other agent comes out of the woodwork. Procuring cause nightmare in the making!
I've found that people have a different definition of what "working with" ...really means!
I've learned over time it's not so much what we say but how we say it...it's the same when dealing with your spouse, significant other or children... is it not?
I've learned to ask all my prospects upon first meeting/contact.... "Are you contractually obligated to another REALTOR®...the reason I ask this is..I would not want to do anything that would inadvertently put you in a position of owing multiple commissions"!!!
Contractually Obligated...not are you working with.
Let me tell you that many times they look at me, eyes wide open and say..."well I did sign something...Ummm I'm not sure what, let me go out to the car and get it so you can see what it is"...Usually they come back in with a buyers agency agreement in hand.
I then have to educate them on just what that piece of paper means...sometimes the buyers are pretty devastated when they realize the implications of what they've signed. Shame on some REALTORS®!
So I do think that while sometimes Buyers do omit the truth.... many times we don't ask the right questions or ask them in the right way. We're the professionals and we should be able to gauge whether or not clear understanding and informed consent is gotten.
I can tell when I do my disclosure if the other party is getting it or not...If I have to back up, start again. Can't you?
Same thing with questions...did I ask it the right way? It is my professional obligation under Article 16 to make sure I asked the question but also to make sure the consumer understands the question.
Remember interfering in a contractual relationship is a violation of the Code of Ethics and in some cases real estate commission rules and regulations and potentially contract law.
Slow market is no excuse for Buyer Poaching REALTORS® ....Tread carefully and ask the right questions...the right way.

Monika McGillicuddy
Your New Hampshire Real Estate Agent
Serving Southern New Hampshire and Rockingham County
Monika McGillicuddy Real Estate Training Website
NH Real Estate Blogs
Prudential Verani Realty
Hampstead NH Real Estate
603-548-7728
Moni your main point is about us asking the correct questions and I agree wholeheartedly. Even if they are trying to ignore their agreement with someone else, the right questions will ferret this out. I think Agency tells us that the burden of proof is on us, yes? You rock.