NetworkingHave you ever been in a conversation with someone at a networking event and been struck by the fact that they seemed taut and alert to everything...but you!  Fidgeting half-smiles and darting eyes belie the fact that they're they're eager to make a connection with....the NEXT person, more important than you are.  And as soon as they think they've spotted them...OFF they go. 

People like this are actually involved with three conversations.  The FIRST with themselves...omnipresent and all important in their own minds.  The SECOND being the current half engagement within the conversation at hand, and the THIRD conversation, well it's the one they intend to have as soon as they're finished with you. 

There's a part of me that has to give grudging admiration to these network operators.  They get it.  A networking event is not about communing on deep, intimate levels, it's about making the largest number of connections within a short period of time. Some of which may eventually pan out to significant contacts in the future. I personally dislike networking events because I prefer deeply engaging conversation. But a networking event is not a success if you deeply connect with the 3 people you already knew before you arrived! 

It occurs to me that there are some similarities with the world of the blogosphere.  Millions of blogs published everyday prove that many of us have absolutely no problem having extensive cconversations within our OWN minds.  We're all eager to share our mental machinations through our blogs.  Hopefully, someone stops by or sticks around long enough to engage us for a bit.  But, that's over usually within 24 hours.  In-fact the conversation on the blogosphere is now stripping to it's most minimal reality in the twitter

As the conversation within a blog eeks out it's last splutters of comments, we jump click...anxious to engage the next thought flitting through the cyber universe. The flirtation with the next newest idea or barely re-worked old one is picked up until something just a tad more titillating comes along.  And what ultimately comes of this?  Usually, not too much.

But, with the thousands of hits and views, a third level of conversation somehow manages to nab even the networkers.  Unexpectedly, a chance encounter resonates at a core level of engagement.  Sometimes the spark is instant, sometimes culled over several encounters. This is where magic appears. And it's often unanticipated. 

Magic is conversations with people which seem strangely effortless.  Magic is shared understanding and respect and admiration.  Magic is when a chance encounter meets an irresistible force called Connection.  This is the Third Conversation...and perhaps, the only that really matters.  It stands to reason that in the world of real estate blogging, those who create Magic will ultimately make Money

Understanding this frees me to appreciate the fact that all three levels of conversation have their place and I can enjoy them at the level which they are without expecting them to deliver something which they cannot.

 

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Lola Audu, CRS, GRI e-Pro ~ Audu Real Estate

Lola Audu, is the Designated Broker & Owner of Audu Real Estate.  Our company specializes in helping people buy and sell homes in the greater Grand Rapids, West Michigan area. You can contact us via e-mail @ info@auduhomes.com or by phone at 616-791-0511. Thanks for visiting our blog.  Here are links to some of our most popular posts for you to enjoy!

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28 Comments on So, Which Level of Conversation On Your Blog Really Matters...

20 Most Recent Comments Displayed Show All

DEC
03
2007
600,380 Points 45 Featured Posts Outside Blog
I, too, prefer really connecting in a small group rather than jostling in a huge crowd. It's why I generally avoid the large conventions and the busy convention hotels - give me a quiet boutique hotel anyday, and if I must be in a big hotel, I'll pay the extra to be on the concierge floor where I can have a smaller "living room" where I can talk to the same people each day.
10:31pm • #9
158,936 Points Outside Blog

I'm with you entirely here Lola - you've given voice to my own thoughts and sentiments. I've tried, but have never taken to networking groups. I can network in a comfortable setting where I know a few people, but just hate going in cold.

I have learned to admire those who do it well.

I am a connection kind of person. You commented recently on a difficult post I posted to my blog that was part of a series of 3 that were not posted to groups. It was a bit of an experiment. I am certain several people visited those posts, but understandably didn't comment.

Magic happened, not the kind that makes money, but connection boldly real. A friend wandered in and engaged, a chance encounter, the irresistable force. From across the continent came an ear and a voice.  In an obscure unexpected setting,  connective understanding manifested in an instant leading to reams of dialogue.

Thanks for your courage to view some raw reality, not look away and acknowledge - it was affirming.

The new photo looks great!

11:08pm • #10
DEC
04
2007
338,741 Points 52 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Some of it could be shyness also Lola.  I don't personally like networking events or things of that nature because I am inherently shy.  (Yes, a shy real estate agent :-)   I do much better in smaller groups - I don't get as nervous or feel out of place.   

One thing I have noticed though, I am slowly shaking off that shyness by being here and participating here.  Who knew it could be good therapy also?  

Wonderful article Lola and observations. 

3:47am • #11
367,616 Points 145 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog
Hi Sharon, totally understand.  There's a part of me that loves to engage...but an even larger part that appreciates peace, quiet and stillness. :)
11:33am • #12
367,616 Points 145 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog
Thanks Deborah for your comment.  The dark side of frenzy is it obscures a succinct view of reality.
11:36am • #13
367,616 Points 145 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog
Hi Kris, Thanks for stopping by.  You're right that in some instances, there is an issue with shyness.  But what I am referring to here is a deeper level of observation about the process of communication and connection.  Appreciate your insights.
11:38am • #14
158,936 Points Outside Blog

I totally agree with you Lola. I think that 'frenzied' feeling feels chaotic which is difficult for me to deal with, to sort out in the moment, on the spot, being so opposite to my nature. 

You're so on cue!

12:36pm • #15
250,832 Points 16 Featured Posts Called Shot Master

Hi Lola,

Since I've become addicted to AR, I occasionally decide I just want to "click around" for a few moments.  Almost randomly to whatever catches my eye.  Tonight it was Jeff's blog about Links in the Chain.  I simply "had" to find out more about why he thought so highly of you and honored you to be the next link.  

After reading a couple of your blogs, I believe you are very deserving, in my most humble opinion.  In your most recent blog, I was glad that you translated for us!  I found this post to be particularly thought provoking and informative.  I've been trying to explain the concept of blogging to people lately.  Your comments and insite will certainly help.  The flitting is somewhat similar to flipping though the pages of a magazine or maybe T.V.  The ability to make the connections and for the magic to exist is what I think is possibly contributing to the growing popularity of blogging. 

I'll be looking foward to you upcoming posts. 

11:22pm • #16

Lola,

Nice post and a great coorrelation between Networking and blogging!  I belong to a networking group in Toledo that meets weekly with the purpose of coming together to pass qualified referrals.  The name of our chapter is Westgate BNI and our motto is "It's not Net-Sit or Net-Eat but rather Net-Work!"  I can truly say that over the past 14 years (the time I've been in this group) I've seen the "Magic" you're talking about... It hasn't always happen over night for for everyone, but as we grow, mingle and establish solid relationships biz happens!  I'm seeing it here as well!  

You're doing good stuff here Lola, once again, nice post! :-)

Thanks, 

11:59pm • #17
DEC
05
2007

Hi Lola,

Very succinctly put! You have certainly hit the nail on the head with this post. I think we have all felt that frenzied feeling at networking events and that is why I had shied away from them in the past.  My perception was that they were all "small talk" about nothing.   I joined a BNI chapter earlier this year and have found that indeed as our team focuses on getting to know each other as people, our business relationships have grown tremendously, and the referrals to each other's businesses have exploded as well.  In our conversations, the focus is on "you" instead of "me". The "magic" has occurred for me with this post.  I'll definitely be subscribing to your blog and am looking forward to reading more of your words of wisdom.

2:19am • #18
DEC
07
2007
410,411 Points 17 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Lola, a great post and very well written. I typically don't read every word of a post that is more than a couple of short paragraphs, but I read your entire article. Very insightful.

I typically do not "do" networking other than at RE events, but I always pay particular attention to the one I'm speaking with. I'm not one that feels particularly comfortable in that environment so I don't intentionally go to many.

I've connected to many here on the Rain though, and value their opinions, their contributions and their comments to my posts.

4:38pm • #19
DEC
10
2007
290,106 Points 33 Featured Posts Outside Blog
Lola- I really liked this....it made me think.  Your observations are great, and I liked how you said that the Magic is when people really connect, unexpectedly.....this is what I like here.....you never know with whom or when you just might find something that really touches us.  Thank you for putting the blog into perspective.....
12:05pm • #20
228,891 Points 61 Featured Posts Outside Blog

I'm shy, Lola -- but I still go for that magic.  I don't need to reach everybody a little, just one person a lot.  :o)  

(You have your own special brand of magic, you know!) 

12:32pm • #21
367,616 Points 145 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog
Deborah, Thanks for your comment.  I'm coming to the conclusion that "frenzy" is never on cue.  I use the appearnce of frenzy in my life as a clue to gauging how much I need to recenter to get back on track.  Blogging which is frenzied becomes stagnant after awhile, so does a conversation without any deep anchors. 
3:15pm • #22
367,616 Points 145 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog
Sondra, Thanks for your comment.  Your post got me to wandering which "Jeff" had made the recommendation. :)  I appreciate your taking the time to read and share your thoughts.  Thanks also for making me aware of the link invitation to the Active Rain Chain.
3:18pm • #23
367,616 Points 145 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog
Rick, truly appreciate your insights.  The light-bulb came on for me when I understood the difference in the dynamics and stopped making harsh judgments.  Different aspects of engagement are necessary.  If everything was a deep well of conversation...we'd all be liable to drown. :)  Simply accepting the level of engagement for what it is...well, it's freeing. 
3:23pm • #24
367,616 Points 145 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog
Hi Teri, Thanks for stopping by.  I find the most value in networking events when I lower my expectations.  Not so much in judging the event, but rather in being open to the flow rather than striving to make more of the occasion than is necessary.
3:26pm • #25
367,616 Points 145 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog
Kathy, You are Welcome.  Magic is irresistible & liable to happen when it's least expected.  For those of us who like more controlled outcomes...well, this is what engages a certain level of frustration. :)  Networking forces us to go with the flow...so does effective blogging. Thank you for adding insight to this discussion.
3:29pm • #26
367,616 Points 145 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog
Hi Sarah, Thank you for stopping here.  There's a part of me that truly loves peace and quiet...distilled wisdom.  One of the biggest challenges in connecting with many people at once is that it can be draining.  I'm understanding that being Open to "Magic" is not the same as trying to Force it to happen....
3:32pm • #27
1 Featured Post

It is so nice to read comments that echo how I feel about networking events. I thought that I had a problem, because these events are something that I just don't do very well with. It has really been an awesome experience to be able to blog and have people respond. The wonderful thing is, is that I'm less nervous about commenting on someone's blog that I really like, and the magic of the connections I have been able to make have been a welcome encouragement.

6:31pm • #28

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Lola Audu~Real Estate Broker/Owner Grand Rapids, Michigan Real Estate

Grand Rapids, MI

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Lola Audu~Audu Real Estate~Grand Rapids, MI Real Estate

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Office Phone: (616) 791-0511

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