Both of these crazy stories happened at a company I no longer work for - long ago and far, far away.
One day I'm checking on my files in the Processor's office - I had to do it myself because she was having her daily lunch with one of the owners - that usually lasted about 3.5 hours, nudge, nudge, wink, wink.
Another Mortgage Broker comes in all freaked-out because a loan wasn't going to close on time and the Seller and Buyer were both PO'd. I asked her why she wasn't talking to our boss (the other owner) - turns out he was having lunch with his girlfriend. (I hope his fiance didn't find out!) She needed help, so I jumped in.
I got the Lender and their Rep on the phone- 'you guys SWORE this would close today, what happened?'.
They called back in a few minutes and explained that it was completely their fault (you have to give them credit for being honest) and they wanted to talk to the Seller because they would guarantee that the loan would close on Monday. Now this wasn't my loan and it was long before I got into the Real Estate side of things, so I said sure, call them and work out whatever you can.
Turns out the Seller was a saint, he accepted the Lenders apology and their promise for a Monday close!
Then, he moved out and let the buyers - who didn't have a loan yet- move in. No, I'm not kidding.
So.... guess what the first phonecall was on Monday? That's right! It was the Lender calling to say WHOOPSIE! we made another mistake- we can't lend the Buyer ANY money. Don't forget, they had already moved in. What a mess.
That was the single stupidest thing I'd ever come up against. Thank goodness the GM had come in, I explained the situation to him and said have a nice day. If I ever run into him again I'll have to see how that one played out.
This next one is about a refinance - pretty straight-forward, nothing out-of-the-ordinary. Yeah, right.
A gentleman called me up one day needing a cash-out refi on his home. Nice guy, took the full app on the phone, yadda, yadda. I mentioned the need for an appraisal - he said I could set it up ASAP, just let him know when the Appraiser would be by. The first Appraiser I talked to said he could be out in 2 days - Client says OK.
This is too easy...................
Next day the Client calls back - "Oh, ahh, BTW - will the Appraiser mind if we have pets?"
Me: "Not at all, why?"
Him: "Well, we do have a few - but I guess it's no big deal - thanks!"
Appraiser calls me back at the end of the next day-
App: "Marc, did you know what kind of house this is?"
Me: "The client said it was a SFR."
"Oh, it's single alright - single-wide" (They did try to dress it up - with huge sections of wood lattice-work. However it was just leaning against the walls, not attached yet.)
"Great, a mobile."
"Yup, and did you know about the OTHER mobile on the property?"
Obviously I didn't. It turned out that they had another mo-bile on the property where they kept the pets - most of them anyway!
They actually had about 40 pets. Including dogs, cats, rats,pot-bellied pigs, boas and lemurs.
That's a Lemur. It's an endangered species.
How or why they had one, I have no idea!
After a few more cups of coffee I called the Client back and explained that I just couldn't help him with what he wanted. I left the office early that day!
And people think I'm crazy?
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I quit typing.