A Journey to Save a Life: Part Sixteen/ Michael the Peacemaker
We once again settled into a life without Gina. At this point, we had not given up on her, but we needed to redirect our attention. There were still five other people in our family, and everyone was hurting in a different way. We needed to distance ourselves from what had just happened because there was simply too much pain. At the time, I felt that God had given us a miracle. Out of over 2,000 the children who had been kidnapped…God had picked Gina to allow her to be reunited with her family. He had mended her leg, and he had briefly mended her heart. Yet the forces of evil had taken away our joy once again, and left bitterness and pain in its place.
The days turned into weeks, the weeks to months, and the months to years. Gina graduated from high school and we didn’t even know about it.
The foster mother facilitated Gina getting married to the foster mother’s nephew from Puerto Rico. He spoke very little English and Gina spoke very little Spanish. You know they say some marriages are made in heaven…well, this one wasn’t. We did not find out about this either, until well after the fact.
What Stephanie and I didn’t know was our son, Michael, at some point along the line; had reached out to Gina and had started to communicate with her. This lasted for 2-3 years, until he came to us one day and said that Gina had changed.
We looked at him dumbfounded, “What do you mean, she’s changed? How would you know?” He then went on to explain that the two of them had kept in contact over the years. They would call each other every so often, and he was coming forward now because he thought there was an opportunity for us to reconcile. He said that he had urged Gina to call us. Michael asked the two of us, “Just give her a chance, hear what she has to say, she’s grown up a lot!”
There have many times throughout Michael’s life when his mother and I have been proud of him, but on that particular day, as I sat and looked up at him standing in front of us; I realized what a wonderful man he had become!
Gina called the following week and both parties to this conversation danced a very tentative dance…sort of like a couple of boxers in the ring, testing and prodding their opponent. Each time we spoke after that initial first call, it got easier to speak with one another, as both sides lowered their guard ever so slightly each time.
In Gina’s defense, as the number of phone calls began to mount; there was never a time when she asked us for anything. We never felt there was an ulterior motive to us now communicating. Both Steph and I were coming to believe that Gina had changed, perhaps Michael was right. She was much more mature, and she did express sorrow over the way the past had played out. What we didn’t know was how much of this new attitude was the result of Gina no longer living under the shadow of the foster mother.
After several months of these conversations, we set up our first meeting. Steph and I visited Gina and her husband at their apartment. Both sides walked on egg shells that day; which was a good thing. In the past, we were always the ones concerned about Gina’s feelings. It was really nice that this time, she was genuinely concerned for ours as well. In any worthwhile relationship, both sides have to respect and care for the other party’s feelings…this was one time where everyone felt like they got back what they gave.
That meeting led to more meetings, and finally Gina and her husband came for a weekend visit back home. Over the coming months, there were more visits back and forth; and we had really started to build a meaningful, adult relationship with Gina.
As we were starting to once again build a relationship with Gina, it became obvious to us that Gina was in a failing relationship with her husband. Despite all the differences we might have had between us in the past, Gina had picked up one Craig trait…she was an extremely hard worker. Her husband was not. Stephanie and I are very light social drinkers, and our children have followed in our footsteps…including Gina. Her husband had a very bad drinking problem. Couple those two issues, with the language barrier they had…and their marriage was doomed. To compound the problem, Gina was expecting.
About a month before she was to give birth; her husband, during an argument, tried to push her down a flight of steps after he had been drinking. Gina called us crying, and my oldest son, Steven, and I were on our way to pick her up an hour later. I asked the police to meet us at her apartment, and they watched the proceedings as we packed up her belongings and brought her to our house.
A month later, little Jose was born. Both mom and son came home from the hospital, and stayed with us for the next 8 months. Those 8 months were some of the best times we ever had with Gina. While everyone was getting along just fine, Gina was planning for her future…a future where she wasn’t dependant on mom and dad. Both Stephanie and I were proud of the fact that she wanted to be connected with us once again, but that she also wanted to be independent.
To be continued…
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