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A Tip To Handle Tantrums

By
Real Estate Agent with Keller Williams Realty 0575737

Child TantrumI think I must be an expert on tantrums cause my stubborn side that extended to adulthood got quite a workout as a child. Refusing to start kindergarten with screaming, not wanting to walk around the grocery store lying on the floor, not wanting to eat my food in my high chair. Well all these things eventually were reconciled finding out who was BOSS: MOM, but a TIP TO HANDLE TANTRUMS in adult folks is:

   B O U N D A R I E S

It is a tough love to tell clients you will not pop up for them at every phone call. Letting selling agents bully you that as a buyer agent you are equals. With clients that DEMAND the stars and moon and you are the only one they are working with, remind them you have other clients too.

In personal relationships this can be called the spoiled child person. Why they are like this deep into adulthood I don't know, but EVERYTHING is the my way or the highway to them. Stand your ground. Be firm. Use tough love but always be respectful. Relationships friends, family, lovers, CAN be strained to the breaking point and separations do occur, best friend relationships can be destroyed if BOTH parties don't GROW UP and learn about give and take. A wonderful relationship has NO dictator in it. Whether it is a man that has abused women in abuse in its many forms, or a woman who is so full of herself with her girlfriends or walks over a very nice man cause she thinks she can get away with it, tantrum behavior is not pretty to watch.

It comes down to that people do treat you as you allow them to treat you. Have high self esteem, much self respect and let others know in no uncertain terms you are STRONG and it is just very normal to have BOUNDARIES in this world. THEN your relationships will be very healthy.

Comments (26)

Pat Champion
John Roberts Realty - Eustis, FL
Call the "CHAMPION" for all your real estate needs

Well written post we should all treat others with respect and expect it from others when dealing with them. Thanks for sharing.

Mar 24, 2012 01:54 AM
Hannah Williams
HomeStarr Realty - Philadelphia, PA
Expertise NE Philadelphia & Bucks 215-820-3376

Yes Yes Yes You tell em Gary!

Mar 24, 2012 02:10 AM
Kathryn Maguire
GreatNorfolkHomes.com (757) 560-0881 - Chesapeake, VA
Serving Chesapeake, Norfolk, VA Beach

I have, luckily, had very few occasions when I was the recipient of a tantrum.  And each time I was amazed that the other person thought that this was an effective technique.

Mar 24, 2012 02:24 AM
Vern Eaton
Askov, MN
Realtor 651-674-7449

Gary...at least with kids, they finally get it.  Wiht adults, most think they will still get their way.

Mar 24, 2012 02:40 AM
Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Christiansen Team: Thank you.

John: Thanks, and have a good day there....

Tonya: I don't do tantrums now, but I always have been respectful with a tinge of stubbornness or maybe more than a tinge : )

Karen: See, when they wouldn't think to walk all over you, you have laid down the law from the beginning. That is very good.

Harry: Getting along, all playing together in the sandbox. Some days it seems harder than others....

Bryan: Polite, reality, then tough love...... great approach.

Pat: Respect on all sides is exactly right. Sadly some "adults" don't seem to understand that.

Hannah: I know you do not let people push you around either.

Kathryn: And when you would have none of their crying they stopped. That is why boundaries works.

Vern: With adults the acting so selfish seems rooted in them and only being strong puts up a firm wall against their tantrums.

Mar 24, 2012 03:35 AM
Anna "Banana" Kruchten
HomeSmart Real Estate - Phoenix, AZ
602-380-4886

Absolutely Gary - respectfully is the best way to handle situations.  And sometimes there is a seller or buyer who is a dictator - but not for long - bye bye with respectfully.  Like begets like.

Mar 24, 2012 03:36 AM
Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Anna: Put your foot down with the dictator types. Sometimes I find it is eye opening to them, that someone would DARE to challenge them. I'll remember to bring my camera next time and post that face LOL. It usually involves wide eyes and a jaw dropped.

Mar 24, 2012 04:02 AM
Kathy Streib
Cypress, TX
Home Stager/Redesign

Gary- I  think the key is as you said.. set boundaries.  Be respectful and let them rant on within the limit you've set.  Once they hit your boundary, walk away.  It becomes their choice if they want to continue with the tantrum but you certainly don't have to be around it. 

Mar 24, 2012 04:25 AM
Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Kathy: Who has time for them to rant and rant, whine and cry, hoping you will just move to their side to avoid confrontation? Walk away, is the best thing to do at some point, and then they know YOUR boundary has been crossed.

Mar 24, 2012 04:29 AM
Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Eli Maria: You are a strong and beautiful Princess and NEVER "anyone's" doormat or punching bag. Completely OK just as you are, no need to change anything, precious in my eyes and the eyes of God. ALWAYS will be too!!! Have a fantabulous day (((tight hugs)))

Little Girl

Mar 24, 2012 04:50 AM
Rebekah Radice
Imagine WOW! Digital Marketing Agency - Burbank, CA
Social Media Marketing, Coaching & Training

I so relate to the strong-willed part Gary!  You are absolutely right thought - creating and maintaining boundaries both personally and professionally is incredibly important.  Great reminder to love ourselves enough that we're ok pushing back every once in a while.

Mar 24, 2012 05:29 AM
Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Eli Maria: Thanks moocho. Princesses deserve the BEST in life you know. BTW Princesses are ALWAYS beautiful, the little ones and the grown up ones. You know why? They have beautiful pure hearts that are FULL of goodness and love!!! Overflowing with love. You know how you can tell? You feel it from them. Right through time and distance.

Rebekah: It does so often come to our own high self-esteem or not. Those that persistently get walked on have to boost themselves up and not let others take advantage of them. When you do, you will be in great shape, and those bullies will straighten up.

Mar 24, 2012 05:30 AM
Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Eli Maria: A little terror you remember my tyke stories well : ) Nothing like the tug of pure hearts pulling on each other. They so have an attraction like no other, I do agree about that. The best of chemistry. Never underestimate chemistry. It is like a magical force in the universe and you can't even explain it. You just know it when it happens.

Mar 24, 2012 05:45 AM
Sidney Kutchuk - Realty Works Temecula Kutchuk - Realty Works Temecula
Realty Works Temecula - Temecula, CA
Realty Works Temecula

Good advice, Gary for everyone to remember, especially the last sentence!

Mar 24, 2012 06:28 AM
William Feela
WHISPERING PINES REALTY - North Branch, MN
Realtor, Whispering Pines Realty 651-674-5999 No.

AWWWW, Gary...Now how am I supposed to get my way?! 

ME ME ME I I I...It's is all about me~!!!

Mar 24, 2012 06:40 AM
Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Jane: And we ALL want those healthy relationships that is very important for serenity.

William: Been there done that with others (at least as a child) and with the strong ones it doesn't work Bill LOL.

Mar 24, 2012 06:46 AM
Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Eli Maria: YOU my dear, are a VERY wise woman understanding chemistry combined with pure hearts. The Master Illustrator would put it into a picture like the one below that also includes thinking about it like a butterfly and "it just landing" on your hand. With happiness and love, you can't chase it. It just happens in its own time.

Sweet. That, and you.

Two Glitter Hearts

 

Mar 24, 2012 09:19 AM
Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Eli Maria:   : )  (((HUG, big one)))

Mar 24, 2012 10:04 AM
Jon Zolsky, Daytona Beach, FL
Daytona Condo Realty, 386-405-4408 - Daytona Beach, FL
Buy Daytona condos for heavenly good prices

And as an immigrant from the Soviet Union I can tell you that it is much easier to do it here in the United States because people around you generally understand it, and if they still do it, it is, as you said, because you let them do that to you.

Mar 25, 2012 03:59 AM
Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Eli Maria: Thanks.

Jon: Some people do that tantrum stuff like it is normal. Just don't EVER put up with it. I like how you tell us of the cultural differences with the former Soviet Union.

Mar 25, 2012 04:04 AM