So while many people in the Rain know our friend and colleague Paul Slaybaugh, some of you may not. It is at this moment, then, and through this post that I shall introduce you to this "special" friend of mine. In a comment he left for me on the Fourth Day of Safety, Paul asked when I would get around to warning you all about the raging, drunken elves. I tried to explain to him that the more "serious" issues of safety would be forthcoming. That although I hope to help prevent fires and theft, my greater cause is to fight the hazards of fantasyland Christmas. Today I am staying away from the drunken elves...I will save that post for another day...I promise, Mr. Slaybaugh! I really do...
I opted to talk about the big man...Santa Claus, and his reindeer. You know the song..."Grandma got ran over by a Reindeer", well that is my safety topic for this the fifth day of Safety.
If you have ever been near a Reindeer, you are likely aware of their size and stature. They have mean hooves and they use them in a prancy fashion. It can be quite traumatic. So, please be aware by following the safety steps mentioned below:
Do not drink too much eggnog on Christmas Eve! If Grandma had not been so hammered, she would have soon those darn prancy hooves coming straight for her noggin!
Take all the medication you need...and are prescribed by a doctor. We do not need to add any whacked out meds to the eggnog or I fear the prognosis will be even worse!
Warn all your friends and neighbors to be aware of Reindeer hazards. When we watch for the good of others, we commonly have good things happen to us!
Instead of walking home Christmas Eve, consider public transportation. It will keep you much safer from reindeer and drunk drivers alike.
I hope that these tips find you all healthy, happy, and well! If you have any additional tips you would like to share, please do let me know. I welcome all thoughts and ideas. I will be watching, reading, and writing...and watching for reindeer!
6 Comments on Twelve Days of Safety ~~ On the Fifth Day
DEC
18
2007
Sarah - Thanks for getting the word out about this very real danger during the Christmas season. Paul has a valid point as well. Additionally, people really need to be aware of the fact that wild reindeer are often on the roadways at night, and not all of them have shiny red noses.
Jason ~ You re most certainly welcome. I am always happy to save even just one person from an unpleasant fate. I shudder to think of hooves on my forehead! And thank you for the reminder that Rudolph is only out on foggy nights...which is not every Christmas!
Did you have a chance to watch any of the YouTube video? I think you would enjoy the vintage style of it!
It's about time you got to the meat and potatoes of safety, Sarah. I mean fire safety? How passe is that? While you rarely hear about fire, how many times do we need to hear the old "reindeer falling through the roof" story before we start to take this issue seriously? And what about the rampant reindeer versus man collisions? The number of "incidents" has seen an alarming spike in recent years. It was just last year that I was doing some last minute tinkering to the lights on my roof when I got blindsided by Blitzen. At least I assume it was Blitzen given that I heard one of his posse say, "Good one, Blitzen." I heard Comet laughing as I hurdled towards the earth. The last thought that ran through my head before everything turned black was payback is going to be a mother you flying f&ing horse. So, thank you, Sarah. If your message finds just one potential fly-by skewering victim, your time has been well spent. As for me, as soon as I regained the use of my right arm, I began the long and arduous process of electrifying my roof and chimney. That's the backup just in case they somehow miss the well concealed razor wire that I strung across the eaves. Just twiddling my thumbs now until I make it through the waiting period for the Glock.
Ho freaking ho, fat man. I'm eating venison for Christmas dinner this year.
And Santa?
My kid wants a Thomas the Train electric engine. I recommend he gets it.
Did I ever tell you and Paul about the time I got burnt by Rudolph's nose?? Talk about fire safety! Well, it's not exactly rated PG, so I'll save that story and tell you over cocktails ;-)
Hello Paul ~ You know as well as I do that the word is out on this reindeer bit much more than it is fire safety and things like that! I mean...I hear that warning about the Reindeer way more often than I hear a fire department advertise fire safety during the holidays. And the fact that the warning is put out as a "jingle" makes it all the easier to remember. It is for that reason that I started the series on the "lesser" know hazards.
You are right, though, that the reindeer collisions have been on the uprise. I have found that interesting given the fact that many more people are cynical now then used to be. I mean...at least you know Santa is around. So many people these days doubt his existence I would expect less "accidents" rather than more!
Thanks for your transparency in showing us how the reindeer kicked your tail. I am sorry for the pain you must have felt that night, and if I were you, I would likely have the same intense emotions about Santa and his Reindeer. Best of luck to you with your trap you have set for them. Can you try to make sure that my kids get their Wii from him before you disable his ability this year? With you being a bit further East, he likely will get to your home first...maybe he can leave the Wii at your house for your "son" and then you can ship it to me. I will get you my address privately!
Enjoy your venison, Paul...and Happy Christmas! With or without the fat man who plays with elves!
Jennifer ~ Looking forward to the cocktail hour and your story more than ever now! Hope this one helped to get you more in the Christmas spirit. Lots o hugs your way! And, btw...I am sooo not surprised it falls below the PG guideline! :)
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