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A letter to my husband's birth mother...wherever you are

Warning...this is off topic and very personal...so read at your own risk. Maybe the power of the Rain will transcend oceans and language barriers...Who knows but it's worth trying.

A letter to my husband's birth mother.

I'm not sure if I'll ever post this and if I do, I don't know that you'll ever see it.

But I want you to know...that I Thank You for giving your son to me.

You made a decision in June of 1954, a sacrifice, something that must have been extremely difficult to do. I'll never know what you thought or felt that day but I can imagine it must have been painful.

I wonder if you got to see him and hold him before you gave him away.

It makes me sad thinking that you might not have.

I've held him in my arms, listened to his breathing and comforted him during bad dreams...he hasn't been alone.

I don't know if you're alive, don't know if you have other children, other sons but if you are...I hope that these words reach you somehow.

I want you to know that your son grew up to be a wonderful man. If you're wondering...he is polite, a gentleman, a kind caring guy. Oh don't get me wrong...he's not perfect, far from it at times but I love him and he makes me very happy.

I know that I might not have him today if you had made a different decision that day. I'm not sure if our paths would ever have crossed although I'd like to think they would have, that we're soul mates meant to be together.

You'll be happy to know that he was picked specially to be the child of Joseph Jeremiah and Pauline Ann McGillicuddy and that they loved him dearly and raised him here in the United States. He had a happy childhood and as he got older like other teenagers of that era, he became a little rebellious at times. He even hitch hiked across the country, scaring his poor parents nearly to death. As you can imagine he might have been difficult at times.

As a man, he has made a few mistakes but ultimately he found his way and walks the talk. He is my husband, a father, you have a handsome grandson named Justin and your son is a wonderful step father to my children.

He is a man that you can be proud of...we don't know if he looks like you or his biological father but he has a funny habit of twitching his chin when deep in thought. He is passionate and gentle, an avid golfer and sportsman. He is a man's man and woman's dream. He is my husband...your son who was born on June 3rd, 1954.

I love him...Thank you for giving him to me.

We know your name was Klara Franziska Bezold. Your son was adopted in Bamberg and was legally represented by the City Youth Office of Bamberg and that the date was September 21,1955. He was 15 months old.

Your son was named Holger Rainer Bezold at birth and was re-named Joseph John McGillicuddy by his adoptive parents and we call him Jay. He was born June 3, 1954 in Bamberg, Germany and was brought by his parents to the United States.

We think you might have come from an influential family, just a guess really from the strict language in his adoption papers, although they are written in German we know that the translation could be off. We think that his biological father was a US service man. 1953-54 post war years but the US had a huge military presence in Germany at that time.

We hope you are still alive and living a good life and that you've been happy. If you ever do see this....please feel free to contact us if you'd like.

We wish you a Merry Christmas and hope somehow...someway these words will find a way to reach you.

Update...December 31, 2007... As Incredible as it sounds WE HAVE FOUND Jay's birth mother and his siblings!!! Please read Jay's post as he tells the rest of his story in his own words >>>> Finding my birth mother

Update...January 5, 2008..To add link on just how Jay found his birth mother

Update...January 10,2008..To add a link to A letter from Germany

Update...February 25, 2008..To add a link to A picture of my biological father

The search continues...maybe someone will recognize the man???

Monika McGillicuddy,REALTOR

Serving Southern New Hampshire and Rockingham County

Monika McGillicuddy Real Estate Training

NewHampshireRealEstateBlog.com

Prudential Verani Realty

Hampstead NH Real Estate

Posted by Monika McGillicuddy~REALTOR®~ N.H. Real Estate Broker & Trainer on 12/30/2007 01:46 AM

Comments (252)

joseph john mcgillicuddy, holger rainer bezold, bamberg germany, klara franziska bezold, city youth office of bamberg, adoption

This post has been included in New Hampshire Information Rockingham County, NH Information Hampstead, NH Information
Post is included in group: Rain For Change

252 Comments on A letter to my husband's birth mother...wherever you are

DEC

2007

You are trying very hard to make me cry aren't you. Very very nicely done. The internet has done amazing things for people. Time will tell.

I love you Monika.

Wow that was unexpected. What a beautiful letter. My best friend growing up and still after 30 years was adopted and I know that everyday he wishes he knew "who" they were.

Here's wishing you and your husband a wonderful holiday and hope all your wishes and dreams come true.

Monika - I really loved this post. Both of my parents were adopted, and we have never found any of their birth parents to this day. My father passed away about two years ago, and my mom has been making an effort to try to figure out more about her birth parents recently. I hope that someone sees this post and makes contact with you, whether it be Jay's mother or a sibling.

I love you too Jay. Maybe someone in Germany will see this and recognize that name...maybe you have living relatives there...so many maybes...time will tell for sure.

Merry Christmas Jay :)

Monika - I have tears in my eyes after reading this post and viewing your video. Who knows, maybe someone, somehwere will recognize the names you've mentioned and come to you with answers. Good luck.

What a great tribute to your honey's mom. Very cool. I wish you all the best!!

Ok, I'm crying in my wine. WOW, this is why I'm 100% against abortion. I hope you find your birth mother. I know this is a political issue and a personal decision, but what would your life have been like with out Jay?

Oh wow...Thank you Desiree. I was nervous posting this.

Jason...Thank you so much. Our hope is that someone does see it and contact us. I hope your mom finds what she is looking for as well. It's hard not knowing anything...especially health wise.

Nancy...I cried as soon as I hit the "post" button...I felt like I was baring my soul a little bit.

Thanks Karen...hopefully it will work.

Missy she would be great as always. Because, she has made me a better person.

I would hate to even imagine that Missy...which is why I really do thank her!

I wish you the best of luck finding Jay's birthmother.....but on a different note....Jay is HOT!!! That highschool picture with the long hair and the side burns is a hoot!

Merry Christmas to you both and may destiny grant you the wish to meet Klara.

My mother placed a child for adoption when she was 16 and there wasn't a day that went by that she didn't think of her son, who she named Donnie. We grew up wondering about Donnie and what he may be like but didn't hold much hope of ever finding him because of the nature of the adoption. It was 1963 and my Grandparents were intent on discretion.

About 5 years ago, I was playing around with my family tree (more like a tumbleweed) and decided to see if I could find Donnie.

I had him tracked down within 15 minutes because he had posted similar information as this letter on the internet . He posted that his name was now Greg and provided a phone number in which to reach him.

I made contact with Greg and we bonded instantly. I am so thankful he wanted us to find him and it reassures my mother to know that he grew up so well.

Given how much time has passed, the birthparents might have passed on, but there could be some siblings who heard about your husband from a relative and cannot wait to meet him. How cool would that be?

I really love this post. Thanks for sharing.

Moni, Should have warned me I would need a box of tissues to read this one. I sincerely wish that you connect with her. Best of Luck,

Merry Christmas Monika & Jay

Thanks Ines...I love that high school picture of Jay <gg>

Amanda..Thank you so much for your heartfelt comment. It makes me feel better about posting this. The odds that Klara is still alive is pretty slim but hopefully someone a sibling maybe will find this post. We can only hope. Thank you so much Amanda!

WOW! This is a real heart wrencher. I also wish you the very best of success in finding your husband's Mother. I'm believing for you. Merry Christmas

Monika, it would be amazing if someone who knows her read this. Now that would truly be a Christmas Miracle.

Thank you Laurie...Last night I had a dream that I wrote this post and when I woke up this morning I knew I had to write about it and have the nerve to post it. I dunno why but I had to. Funny thing to dream about.

Monika - I certainly wish you much luck in finding Jay's mother (or relatives/siblings). I used the internet to find my ex-husband's adoptive parents that he had had a tiff with and hadn't spoken to for 15 years. It was quite a reunion. It can happen - you just have to stay at it.

Merry Christmas to you both! I hope your dreams come true.

Wouldn't that be something George!!! Sure would be a Christmas Miracle.

Thank you Dallas and merry Christmas to you.

Carol...Thank so much. We're hoping the power of the internet will work in our favor.

Hi Monika,

Awww...this is a beautiful letter! I hope this post reaches those connected to Jay, how cool that would be for Christmas! :)

George wouldn't it be funny if we found my relatives and they were Yankee fans. LOL

Monika - This was a beautiful post and it made me cry.

Hi Monika and Jay - wow, what a post this is, and I wish nothing more than for you to be able to find her, if she's able to be found.

Having known Jay for all these years, and you as well, he is all you wrote and then some. What a kind, caring, compassionate, awesome man he is - one I'm proud to have called my friend all these years. You're both wonderful people, and I truly hope this very personal post finds its way to someone who knows something that can help you find what you really want to find. May the power of the Rain work for you!

Merry Christmas to you both, and my deepest thanks for the friendship we've shared for 14-15 years or so! Long time, huh..... ;-)

Ann

Moni, my heartfelt wish for you for Christmas is for Jay to find his birth mother. I can't imagine giving up a child and, being a mother I can't imagine the anguish she must have felt. It makes me hurt for her and I'm sure there has not been a June 3 go by without her thinking about him and wondering how he is.

What a beautiful tribute to Jay and your love shines through. You both are so lucky to have found each other.

The internet is a wonderful thing and makes the world a lot smaller. I will pray that your wish is fulfilled.

Merry Christmas Moni and Jay! You guys are special.

Ann, it's closer to 17-18 years. 1989 or 1990 is my guess. Think back. LOL

What's funny is my birth middle name is "RAINER".

Rainer in the rain. LOL

Very touching -- I know in some way this message will reach Jay's birth mother! May you have a joyous and simple holiday -- and best wishes to you both -- and your family!

Suzanne...Thanks it would be very cool!

Mariana...I cried as I wrote it. Lets hope it reaches far and wide and someone makes a connection to the name.

Merry Christmas Ann...Thank you for being a true friend. Maybe this post will do the trick...after all these years that would be so awesome. I'm hoping the power of the Rain is really powerful. Thanks so much!!!

Linda...Thank you. I remember when I first met you on the AR...you thought our guys looked alike and when I saw a picture of your husband I asked you if your hubby was adopted...thinking they could have been brothers or something. Even then I was hoping....

Merry Christmas.

Moni & Jay,

First I'd like to thank you for sharing such an important and personal detail of your lives with us. If it's very important to you to find your birth mother, I wish you much luck. If you never do, I'm happy that you've found something so many never do and that's a soul mate like Moni. You are both so lucky to have each other but then I'm sure you didn't need me to tell you that. I love that you are thanking Jay's mother for giving him to you because that's something I say to Bob's mother all the time. I think we're both very lucky. We wish you much luck in finding whatever fills your dreams. Have a very Merry Christmas!

Monika, I wish I was good at scanning pictures and putting them on the internet. Even without the facial hair they look alike! It's spooky in a way. Jay's senior picture looks like Mike's. They even have the same chin. I'll see if my son can figure out how to do it and I'll send them to you. You'll be amazed!

Thanks Joan. I hope for Jay's sake that you are correct. Happy holidays to you!!!

Lisa...How sweet! If it's not meant to be that will be okay for us. The odds that she is alive is slim but I guess we simply don't know. Merry Christmas to you and Bob..I hope it's a great one.

Linda...Now are you sure your hubby is not adopted? Or that a close relative was in Germany during that time frame?

He's not adopted, but his Dad was in the service. I'll do some digging around and see what I can come up with. I know he was an orthopedic surgeon after the service, but I need to find out if he was in Germany in the early 50's ....ok..MID 50's LOL

Wouldn't it be wild??

Moni you are a beautiful lady, I knew that but this is the icing on the cake. Of course I cried like everyone else. The two of you are special together and an inspiration

Probably 1953...late summer or fall??? Jay was born in June of 54 so count back. LOL yeah that would be incredible. Maybe even a relative...a cousin? Who knows for sure but I bet the man doesn't even know.

Carole....Thank you so much. You warmed my heart! I am so lucky and just wish I could tell her so...

I mean I'll really have to dig...Mike was only 9 when his Dad died, so I'll have to see if he knows if he was in Europe at that time. Both his parents are gone but I'll see what I can find out. Doesn't hurt to check!

Monika,

This is a very heartwarming post. I can tell that you love your husband very much and I hope beyond hope that you are able to locate his birth mother. I understand how it feels to have that connection with someone whom you've never met, always wondering if maybe, just maybe, you might meet them someday. You never know what can happen.

Jay that would finally explain why I like you. Yep that would make perfect sense ........ LOL

What a wonderful post to end my week on. You clearly love your man and are not afraid to tell the world about it. As for finding his bio mom, well it is Christmas so who knows what might happen. Good luck and a very merry Christmas to you and your family.

Monika~ Jay has been tremendously blessed in life, especially with you. That's a beautiful tribute. I really loved the high school pictures, what a head of hair!

DEC

2007

Monika, this is an absolutely beautiful post. I have a feeling you will follow it up with another one telling us a very happy reconciliation story. I just know it.

God bless you, Jay, and the love you have for each other.

Merry Christmas!

<<sniff, sniff>>

Linda...I'm sorry to hear that your father in law passed away especially when Mike was only 9 years old. strange things have been known to happen so you just never really know.

Andrew...Thank you. Your words are touching. Sounds like you're looking as well and I wish for you much success in your endeavor. Maybe the power of Google will help us somehow.

George...LOL!!!!

Simon...Yeah I do love him :) Thank you!

Lisa...LOL...The poor guy...he hates looking at that picture. Probably because of all the hair. Thanks so much for stopping by.

Maggie... I hope you are right as I would love to write that post! Thank you Maggie...I know you understand great love and the lengths one would go for it. This post was a result of a dream too Maggie...

Monika.... Very nicely done... Hope you can find the connection to Jay's family history... And I'm sure Jay will agree whether his biological parents are found or not this was the ultimate Christmas gift... the thought really counts!

Jay - yep, you're right.....I put my thinking cap on and it was back then that we first became friends.

Monika and Jay - you two share a very special love and deep friendship with each other, and I always love being around you. You make me laugh and smile with the way you are with each other. You very simply were meant to be together. And I hope you find some good news with this post - the world is out there and hopefully so is someone who can put these pieces together for you.

Merry Christmas to you both - you are gifts to each other, no matter what.....

Hugs to you both!
Ann

Really sweet Monica. Who knows...maybe just maybe you will get a contact from this from one of Jay's family. That would be an awesome Christmas presnt.

Love the video show. Jay's lookin' good!!!!

Monica, What a beautiful tribute to Jay. Wonderful way to show appreciation. Well written and I am flagging it for a feature!

Monika...

This is just awesome. I, like everyone else here, hope that this letter brings results.

That would just be too cool for words :)

TLW...ROAR!

Monika, this is a beautiful post, and I imagine there are many birth parents reading this and feeling less sad about difficult decisions they had to make - often as teenagers in the days before "open" adoptions. And maybe you are helping to start them on a path to finding the son or daughter who was a gift to another family.

Hi Dan...We're not expecting much but boy it would be nice if it found it's way to her somehow. Thank you for commenting.

Ann...Your words are so touching, thank you for sharing them with me. Funny but Jay and I have always called each other our best friends. I'm hoping the word reaches the right person but if not thats okay too because we do have each other...and awesome friends like you and Bear. Merry Christmas Ann and Thank you!

Margaret...Thank you so much! I enjoyed chatting with you today very much and hope to catch your radio show tomorrow!

Bryant...LOL yeah Jay was a little charmer...still is too :)

TLW...Thank you so much! results would be to cool for words...but I'd just have to post it if it happened.

Thank you so much No name, I appreciate your comment and hope that it does bring a little sense of peace to someone who needs it at this time. I love how you put it a "gift to another family"...that is exactly what Jay was...a special gift.

Happy Holidays

Monica, you know I walked in his mother's shoes. What can I say.

My son and I both decided just to be "findable" - funny, that's a thought and word we both had - and, when the timing was right, we did find each other. I hope my "success story" gave you some positive vibes for writing this. That's what happened when one of my clients told me how close she is now to her grown daughter and her grandchildren. Since then, I've discovered two other success stories in my own circle of friends. None of the negative stuff you read online in those dreadful adoption forums.

Margaret...I remember reading your story a while back and talking to Jay about it. We've tried searching before but never thought about blogging about it. I'm hoping that the power of AR and google might help. Thank you Margaret...hopefully we'll have a success story to share someday soon.

Monika - What a great tribute to Jay. As you know I got to meet Jay this morning and it was a pleasure. He started to fill me in on a little bit of what you wrote but now I have the full scoop. What a miracle it would be if his mom ever did read this. Here is to hoping a wish comes true!

Monika, of all the adoption sites, Adoption.com is the most realistic - a good mix of all parties writing, and both positive and negative stories (as opposed to all negative). Their reunion registry is where my son and I found each other - we both had been there 3 years, but never made the connection because of some inconsistencies (not intentional, in our case). Keep in mind that sometimes people bent the truth in those days to "protect" parents and children - some deliberate tinkering with dates and places occurred, so be sure to read between the lines.

Hi Bill. thanks for taking the time out of your busy schedule to meet with my brother and me today. I enjoyed our visit even if my brother was 20 minutes late, it gave us time to chat.

Looking forward to hearing from you by the end of next week. Merry Christmas to you and your family.

Monika - What a lovely post. <snif> I'm soooo glad I had the opportunity to meet you in person. You are one outstanding lady!

Monika, my realtor and friend forwarded your letter to me. I want to send my thoughts as I am a birth mother who placed her daughter for adoption in 1968. I am so blessed to have reunited with her in 1996 and I am now the proud grandma of twin granddaughters. She is my only child. Our relationship continues to grow and blossom and I am so thankful to have these years with her and my granddaughters. I want to send a huge thanks to you for being so aware of the feelings of birthmothers. We were young women "in trouble" and wanting to keep our babies. Ultimately, we were made to feel desparate and tainted, due to the influence of society at that time. I, unfortunately, did not have support from my family, the birth father, nor friends to keep my daughter. I was told I would have to place her for adoption in order not to shame my family's name. While I hated that I had to relinquish my daughter, I now choose to believe it had to happen so that I could give her adopted family this gift of life. I always believed that I would reunite with her one day, even tho I was told to get on with my life and act like it had never happened. You and your husband are very blessed to have your love for each other and I only hope and pray his birthmother will find your message. After much soul searching and counseling I have finally been able to accept that I indeed made a huge sacrafice to relinquish my child. I very much appreciate the fact that you are willing to convey this to his birthmother who probably wonders daily, if not hourly, is her child safe and happy. May she always be blessed for her sacrifice but remain at peace knowing he has been loved.

Bill...Thank you so much for stopping by and Thank you for taking the time to meet with Jay today. I know it's a busy time of year.

Margaret...I've thought about that a bit. Thinking the names could be wrong or even the date. It's hard because the documents we have, all have been translated. The wording is very strange...I've asked a few people if they've ever seen wording like that in adoption papers before and no one has. Of course with everything being in an other country just makes it harder.

Thank you Linda :)

Birth mother...I am so happy for you. That you found your daughter and now have a relationship with her and granddaughters as well. That must be so special!

It pains me to think that Jay's BM might be wondering or looking for him. She would be much older if she is still alive. I wanted her to know somehow...what a wonderful person he is and that he is not alone and that he is loved. It would give me some peace to know that if I were her. I wanted to thank her because her actions that day...made it possible for him to meet me.

It was a sacrifice and I'm glad you've been able to come to terms with it. I hope you're smiling as you read this because I am...Thank you for taking the time to visit my post and share your story with me. It makes us more determined and makes me glad that I decided to post this.

Exciting news....

Using the search term "bamberg germany adoption" in google this post shows up on the 1st page!!! I think that's great! Maybe someone over there will see it!

Monika, this was a powerful post. God is able to create tremendous good out of all kinds of different situations. This was very moving. Thank you for sharing. Blessings to you for the Christmas Season. I'm glad I stopped by to read this.

Lola...Thank you so much for stopping by and reading my post. There has been so much good already and if nothing further comes from this...that will be okay. Thank you Lola and Merry Christmas.

Monika - That's so wonderful! You showed up on the first page! Wow....I just know something good's going to come out of this.

DEC

2007

Good morning Linda. That would be cool!!!!

Happy Holidays :)

Moni,

I am blown away by this heartfelt post. i am only sorry I didn't read it sooner. I always wondered how Jay could find his birth mother but you have found the perfect medium here. I pray someone with relatives in Germany send this post along to them and they can circulate it to their friends, etc. They say if you talk to 6 people, you can make a connection with anyone in the world. Jay I will pray God helps you make this important connection.

Judy it looks like we may have found a telephone number with my birth mothers first name and last name. Monika is German as you well know and she has relatives in Germany who may also be able help.

Monika, this is such a touching letter, it's a letter any mother would be very happy to receive in this situation, and any husband would be proud to have his wife write about him. With out even meeting him I can tell from this letter that Jay is a very fine person. I hope that you get some kind of acknowledgement from this. This is the season when miracles happen. Happy Holiday to your family.

Hi Larry...Thank you so much. Merry Christmas to you and your family as well and maybe a small miracle will happen for us this holiday season.

Monika-Wow, you are truly a remarkable woman! I can't even express my thoughts here except to say...I truly understand how you both feel...I feel this way myself. Happy Holidays to you both...I do believe it can happen!

Monika and Jay - I included this post in this week's Week in Review. It deserves to be there, and I'm hoping with the additional exposure you just might get some kind of lead that will help you in your search.

Christmas hugs to you both!
Ann

Monika-many thoughts are racing through my head......1) have you thought of getting a German translation for this 2) If you want I can send it to a friend, and ask them to translate 3) Many people in Germany and the old countries live for family....they know who moved where, and when, etc. so even if Jays birth-mother has passed on, then there might be other family or friends....what area is Bamberg in...the North, South ????

My son lived in Germany and graduated from high school there.......I hope someone reads this, I do know that an old friend in Romania found me after 10 years of trying from my Active Rain blog......so if Romanians are reading this, then Germans are too :)

This was a beautiful letter........Very nicely done, and so heartfelt.......I just e-mailed it overseas to see if there is somewhere in Germany to Post it.

DEC

2007

Midori...Thank you. I understand how you feel. Happy Holidays and yes something good can happen.

Ann...Thanks so much for the mention! That is awesome, the more exposure we can get the better it is for us.

I know a few people have told me that they flagged this for a feature but I figured the AR gods felt it way too off topic to feature so I really appreciate the additional exposure. Merry Christmas Ann.

Kathy...Thank you but we do have a transcript, actually done in Germany at the time of the adoption because Jays parents could not speak German. The document loses something in the translation though. It is a pretty strict "contract" and we really don't know if the name and place mentioned are correct. Hope so because it is really all we have to go on.

I think Bamberg is in the south part...but I'm not sure. Thank you so much for passing this on...maybe just maybe...it will fall into the right hands.

Merry Christmas

Monika,

What a wonderful heartfelt post! I can't begin to cut through the myriad of emotions here. Any words of consolation would surely fall short of comfort! I will keep this situation in my prayers...in the end, we are all adopted children of God...we are all here on loan to our parents, adopted or natural!!! Thanks, Fran

P.S. I just had a thought...if you follow up, try obtaining 'church' records...churches even now, but especially back then, kept accurate records!

Thank you so much Fran...We do know the church name as Jay was in a church orphanage. If we lived in Germany or could spend time there investigating it would much easier. Doing leg work from afar and dealing with the language barriers is difficult. We're hoping that this post will be found and someone will know of her or of her family. Your words are very touching "we are all adopted children of God" thank you for sharing them!

Merry Christmas Fran.

Monika, I have not read all the comments, it's Christmas Eve Day and I am late! However, I am bookmarking this post! I actually got chills reading it! I have done a lot of genealogy through the years and I will definitely do some research after the Holidays. Still, I hope that somehow, though the coincidence of life, either she or someone who knows her will stumble across this post. It may take awhile, but as Albert Einstein said "Anything and everything is possible"!

Oh, and I guess he really is a Rainer!

Moni & Jay - A most blessed Christmas to you both. I love you and even more important God loves you and this is important to Him. I know you will find someone who knows your Mother through this post.

DEC

2007

You're right, Monika - I'm sitting here crying. I hope Jay's mother does find this and read it - and know that she is loved.

Hi Karen...Happy Holidays to you and yes please keep hoping for us. A Rainer that's my guy :)

Judy...I hope you are right and we do find her. You are a great friend Judy and we love you too!!! Merry Christmas!

Sharon...Thank you so much and I'm sorry I made you cry...but thank you for caring.

My sister was adopted and we loved her greatly before her death in 1999. She had such great laughter and love to give. thanks for posting.

DEC

2007

Wow, this gave me chills. What a wonderful letter. I hope the power of the internet reaches her. She gave birth to a man of great character and a good heart. Thanks for sharing.

Beautifully posted:)

DEC

2007

Monika and Jay - what a story! I like all the others above really wish you luck in finding our some information. Thanks for sharing! You both have a wonderful marriage- a great example! How long have you been married?

Thanks too for your "Christmas comment" on one of my posts! I hope you are enjoying your Holidays! I wish you both success in '08...

Matt...That you loved her greatly is a comfort. Jay feels great love from his family as well. I think he just needs to know some history....his future health is a blank slate. We have no clue what to expect...no history.

Ginger...Wouldn't it be great. I'd like her to know about him..how his life has been.

Thank you LaNita.

Kim...We're still newlyweds...17 years.

Thanks everyone and Happy New Year to you all.

Moni, Has Dad made the call to Germany yet? I check here each day to see if someone from Germany posts some kind of response.

Judy...The number was missing some digits and we just now got the right area code. Germany being 6 hours a head of us means we have to wait till tomorrow to call. Both of us are out showing tomorrow...so dad will call on his own for us. I hope that if it is her...that we don't give the poor lady a heart attack. Keep your fingers crossed.

Wow. I am reading your last comment above and it appears something has happened. But if it has not, please let me know. My next door neighbor is a leading geneologist and has access to amazing record resources. I'd be delighted to try and get him involved for you.

DEC

2007

The world has just got a little smaller.

Today my father in-law called the number Monika had found doing a google search of my birth mothers name and a little tweak in one of the numbers, he was able to conect with her.

Of course, I was out showing property and forgot he was going to try again to see if the number worked. I had a 10:00 AM meeting with buyers and Monika was with her 10:00 AM buyers too. Monika's folks called Monika just as she was getting to her appointment and told her that they had indeed reached her and she verified that she was my birth mother.

My birth mother seemed to be very pleased that he had called and was hoping she could meet me again. She did say I have a brother and a sister. She also gave Monika's dad my brother Alexander's phone number.

We have morning appointments and we will return to Monika's parents tomorrow morning and I will call and speak to my birth mother.

I am pleased that she is still alive and having made contact is the first step forward to a new chapter of my life.

That is fantastic! C O N G R A T S !!!! Good job, Monika!

Jay - My eyes started leaking!! That's so wonderful! I don't even know what to say. Simply awesome! 2008 is beginning to look very bright for you and Monika! I see a trip to Germany in your future! What an answer to prayer!

Jeff, thank you very much for your offer to help. I believe we have achieved something I never thought possible.

I haven't stopped crying yet!

Can you believe it????

Oh, I can't believe it! When I saw Jay's post it was like a dam burst behind my eyes! How awesome. A Mother's heart always wants to know. I'm glad she's pleased.

Thank you Amanda

Linda, I found out about 3:30 est today and it is just now hitting me like a ton of bricks.

The both of us are very emotional right now.

When my dad called her today he asked in German if she was Klara Bezold, she told him that she was...he then told her about a man once named Holger Rainer Bezold....and she immediately cried out "That's my son..That's my son"!!!!

She seemed very happy to be found. She was hoping that he was in Germany and was a bit shocked that he was in America.

I still Can't believe it!!!

How appropriate to have the middle name of Rainer. What a beautiful way to start the New Year! Monika, we are all so proud of what you have done for your family.

Wow. I am so surprised this happened so quickly. I knew something would happen, but in only a few days? Congratulations, Jay & Monika! I have an idea where your next vacation will be.

Jay and Monika -

How absolutely fantabulous!!!!!! I too seem to have a problem with my eyes right now. Can hardly see the keyboard. If I wasn't so darned fat, I'd be doing cartwheels!!!!!

Hugs and Congrats!

Margaret, I too noticed that "Rainer" when I was proof reading this post for Moni. A little spooky if you ask me,

Debbie, We had tried searching her names in years past but nothing. Then Moni had a dream and then here we are.

Nancy, thank you my eyes too are leaking a little every now an then tonight.

It is truly amazing the power of the internet. Last time we searched we found nothing. This time we hit a bullseye.

Tomorrow Jay will talk to his birth mother...hear her voice after so many years. How surreal it is.

I am so happy for Jay. Please fill us in on what happens when he speaks with his birth mother.

Adele...We'll post tomorrow night about it. I know Jay is anxious about it and so am I.

Monika and Jay - from the first moment that I read this post, I knew this would happen, I just felt it in my heart. I also predict a trip to Germany......hmmmm. I am so happy for you!

DEC

2007

Jay, When I originally read this post I had a feeling that you would find your birth mother rather quickly. I am so very happy for you. Damn, now I need another box of tissues. Good job Monika!

OMG..........Laurie, pass those tissues this way please!!!

Jay and Monika,

Unbelievable!!! This must be so wrought with emotion for you guys, I can't even imagine. I'm sitting here reading through this whole thing and I was able to keep it together right up until the point where Monika tells of Klara's reaction......"That's my son, That's my son"......are you kidding me? I have a brand new son and I CAN NOT IMAGINE not knowing for that long. I can only begin to know the elation she must have conveyed in her voice..........tissues please, WOW!!!

Congratulations both of you. Jay, I don't know what to say, but ActiveRain having any portion, part, anything to do with this makes me so proud, humbled, and feeling pretty small in the scheme of things..........

WOW!!!! I'll be anxiously awaiting hearing about your first chance to speak with your birth mother Jay, as will all of us I'm sure.........

I am so happy for your family. You have truly been blessed this holiday season.

I read the post, very touching, beautiful, so warm... Then started going through the comments, this is unbelievable.

I will be watching, as you touched so many hearts. G-d bless you!

A letter of love - for your husband and his mother! Wonderful!!!

Monika and Jay - This can't get any better. After all those years I can't imagine the emotions that are stirred up.Congratulation!!

What a remarkable story. I can hardly believe how it all worked out. (oh, and I liked the mutton chops, too)

It wasn't the best night of sleep I've had lately and I awoke a few times during the night thinking about my call to Klara. Finally at 5:50 AM I decided it was almost noon in Germany and she would be awake so I brewed a pot of coffee and watched the highlights of last nights Patriots game. The coffeee was made and we dialed the phone.

The phone rang and I asked Monika to pick up the extension and she did and I could hear Klara answer the phone but could not understand what she said. She sounded well and Monika tried her best with her broken German to try and ask her questions but it was a little difficult.

My brother Alexander and my sister Anita (we think that's what she said) do know about me and she said she called Alexander right away yesterday when Monika's dad had called but was unable to reach Anita as she has no phone.

I have a 9AM meeting and we will try again right after that when we go to Monika's parents home and call her.

I can't really express how I felt when I heard her voice. When we speak later we will be able to translate what is said and it will feel better as I know she tried to tell Monika about her life when I was born.

She still can't believe I do not live in Germany. She always hoped I was in Germany.

Chris you are too funny. Times sure were different back in '72.

I think she probably figures she'll never get to see Jay now that she knows that he lives in the US.

It was hard for me to communicate with her and I never realized how frustrating it is to not understand a word someone says until today.

My feelings was that she was still shocked to have been found...she kept referencing "so many years" like she simply couldn't believe it.

I tried to tell her that we would call back in a few hours when my dad could translate.

I spoke to my husbands birth mother today...can you believe it?????

Ah....'72. I was 5 years old and had my own look, baby!

I just can't keep my clothes on

All things in their time.

You took the chance step up and out----look at what happened.

Please, keep us posted of the new developements.

How wonderful.

Moni & Jay - What a wonderful way for you to begin 2008. What a Christmas miracle!

Makes everything else here on AR seem somewhat insignificant.

Truly amazing story...My father never had the desire to find his mother. He just bought his first computer...not sure if this will change his mind.

This story is something you see on the 20/20 or Oprah...not on AR, but just shows you how small the world is on the internet.

I hope the physical meeting of your new extended family goes just as well. Congratulations again. Simply amazing!

What a beautiful letter, the sentiment behind it shines through perfectly. This is one of the best, most creative uses I've seen for a Real Estate Show. I can't imagine the treasure this letter and those pictures must be to the woman who loved him enough to let him go.

Morning Jay and Monika - how cool to read of your first conversation with the woman, as Sarah said, "loved you enough to let you go". And even better to be able to talk with her again with your dad translating for you. You should tape record that conversation so you can listen to it again and again.

And I've no doubt you're already trying to figure out how to get a trip to Germany in for 2008.

What a simply wonderful way to end 2007 and start 2008 for you both, and for your mother. It's so fantastic to know of her reaction to you finding her this time around.

I'm so happy for you both - I'm hugging you both right now again in my words and thoughts.

Ann

Hi Monika,

I stumbled onto your post while I was reading a post from the love of my life, whom is a regular contributor in Activerain, I've never post any comments on any blogs before but your post touched me deeply and I hope Jay will find his parent and/or his siblings. How wonderful Jay has you as a partner!!

Have a wonderful 2008.

We know that there were many babies fathered by U.S. Servicemen during every war. Some are fortunate enough to make it to the U.S. and have wonderful lives.

Think to the future. That's the only thing we can control.

Moni & Jay, I loved reading this. You presented your story in such a loving and warm way. Having the story play out in such a short time was amazing! I hope you get to visit Germany asap. Jay's birth Mom sounds as though she has been missing and loving him all these years. Go soon and create that new chapter.

Tear of joy for you here in Denver,

Jay,

And who says The Rain doesn't bring sunshine!!! Keep us posted...!!! Thanks, Fran

My X wife gave up a baby upon her parents insistence,and would give anything to have him find her.

Your story was a Christmas present.

I tried to read it twice and ended up crying before finishing the post, much less the comments. Twitters between members who were following it sent me back to say congratulations to all. What a story.

Don't get me started now...very nice story you wrote about Jay. I'm glad to hear you found some answers to your prayers...Happy New Year!

Monika and Jay - I am very happy for you both, and hope that you will have a chance to meet face to face in the coming months. It will give her great peace of mind, I am sure, to know that Jay has had a good life, that he has been loved all his life, and that he holds no ill will towards her. Hugs to you all!

Jay and Monika -

Have you thought about recording your conversation to your mom. Not for anything but to record the moment, the energy, the emotion... and perhaps to record it so it can be translated by a professional???

I am so excited for you both. I can't contain myself and have told everyone around me your story!

Can't wait to hear howyour call this afternoon goes.

Hugs - Nancy

Moni... Way to go! You delivered the ultimate Christmas Gift and one heck of climax for the year. So... Guess my prediction for Jay's birthday will include a passport and plane tickets..

What a beautiful love letter to your husband! I wish you all the best in your search.

Despite all we aspire to acquire, to accomplish, to earn or gain, and the end of the day - all that matters is LOVE. That we CONNECT. That we share our hearts and souls with another.

His mother holds him in her heart, you hold him in your arms, I hold you all in my prayers.

Thank you, and best wishes for a wonderful, enriching new year!

Moni and Jay - SIMPLY AMAZING - Monika What a Christmas gift to Jay - Your world will certainly be different because of the people who were important in the life of a child once named Holger Rainer Bezold.

I wish you and Jay all the happiness in the world as Jay reconnects with his roots.

I found my birth mother with a google search. Apparently she had posted messages on a few sites looking for me and Google found it. We have been in contact through phone and email and everything is going well. Due to long distances we have not met yet, but hope to in 2008. I hope things go as well for you and your husband.

Jay and Monica, I met my real father when I was 15. I never knew my stepfather wasn't my real dad. I also found out that I had four siblings. My real father passed away four years after we met. I don't regret every finding him. I'm so happy for you both. She has to be a wonderful lady. I will be waiting to read how the phone call went. Can't stop my tear!

Jay and Moni -

Oh My god!

This is so fantastic! I cried all the way through, from the original post, through all the comments, through the so far amazingly successful conclusion! My heart goes out to you guys. You've gone through so much recently - to have this one turn out so well is so truly a wonderful Christmas/New Year's present!

Knowing how emotional I feel, I can't even imagine how you guys feel!

Having known you for 15-20 years, you know you have all my best wishes! Now you have a whole new project in your lives - meeting you mother, your brother and sister, and going forward from there!

Congratulations, and all my best wishes!

Bear Bear_p@comcast.net
(this is from Bear)

Jay and Monika,

This is wonderful news. I hope that you get a chance to talk with your mother and siblings and learn about their lives, as well as let them in on yours. Many things have happened in all of your lives and it will be so overwhelming to finally make that connection.

My prayers are with you both as you make this extraordinary connection. Savor the moments, revel in the newfound relationship and enjoy life.

My daughter who i gave up in 1976 found me in 1993. Very tearful reunion. Well worth it too.

Jay and Moni,

I'm just simply stunned by this story's end! Shows just how powerful the information highway can be and in a very positive way too! So many good wishes and warm congratulations go out to you both. We're very happy for you and wish you the most wonderful New Year ever! Even though it looks as though you've already got it! Oh happy day!!!!!

I do hope you find your husbands mother, he is VERY lucky to have you! Happy New YEar

Monika - In NO way do I want to take away from your heartfelt story but I did want to share that I was adopted. I spent years searching, sending letters, researching, etc.....My story had a fairytale ending. At 32 I found my birthmother and birthfather. At the time, they were not married. Now, they are married and we have been living as though we have never been apart for all those years. It has been 8 years and I can only say that I was completely blessed and still feel that I am the luckiest person alive. If you and your husband do search and would like to know a little about what I did please feel free to email me and I can certainly share some of the things that I did. Your open letter was beautiful, heartfelt and the love that you have for your husband is loud and clear through your words. If I wouldn't have had my husband I might have given up many times......through his support and love (like yours for your husband) I perservered.....BEST WISHES and thank you so much for sharing!

What a wonderful gift to have unfold! I hope you treasure these moments and get to know your birth mother.

Monika & Jay,

Congratulations! What a Happy New Year this will be for you both, this is just too cool for words! :)

May the post achieve what you hoped it would. All the best for you and your family.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, your story is amazing. Congratulations.

Jay and Moni, I have written a new blog and connected to this for my family. I hope you don't mind. I believe the Lord gave Moni that dream and that He has answered the prayers of many here on AR as well as your own heart felt prayer to find her. I can't express how excited I feel hearing from you and the responses here for your MIRACLE. This is a MIRACLE. Your Mother has obviously never forgotten the beautiful boy she bore back in June of 1954. Too bad the RV doesn't float. I wonder if Moni's folks would go with you to Germany to translate? I know they still have family there and now we know you do too:)

Congratulations on the gold star. Perhaps there should be a diamond for posts like this.

A beautiful tribute to Jay. Congratulations on finding his birth Mom - keep us updated on when a reunion will be. Happy Holidays!

Monika and Jay-You my friends have such a love....and I see it and feel it! I can't stop crying...emotions are powerful and especially when it comes to wonderful happy endings. I am not as brave as you both...but I understand..there is a part of me that would like to find my birth mother BUT there is a bigger part of me to leave it alone. For now I will. This is an exciting time for you both...and so happy you shared it with us! Happy New Years to you both....looks like it should be even better!

That was truly amazing. having my first child 7 months ago, I know it had to be a diffcult decision for someone to give up their child. My prayers are with you.

It grabbed me from the start. I don't think you can keep dry eyes reading this...

Very emotional, sincere, heartfelt. You are a lovely person Monika! What a loving tribute to your husband! Very touching indeed! Thank you for sharing this with us!

Had this post not been featured I never would have seen it. I am so gratefull to have read this story. I tried to cheat to the end of the comments and almost missed the good part.

I am so excited for you and your family. Looking forward to reading how the second call goes. I will definitely be watching my email for updates.

Moni & Jay and family, Happy New Year from Toni & Jay and family! :-)

Besides the fact that I was also born in June of 1954, your post reminded me of someone I knew a very long time ago. A young girl who opted against abortion and gave her child up for adoption instead. Not a popular decision and not an easy one for her. It would have been so much easier on her and her family if she had an abortion. But they stood by her and they were very proud of her for her choice.

To Jay I say there really is no difference if your Mom put you up for adoption or died at your birth. You will be reunited somewhere and sometime, possibly in another life beyond this one. My limited experience says that Mom's who give up their parental rights love their children no less (and no more) than they would have if they kept the child.

You entered the world as you did for a reason, and for us who have had the benefit of your presence in this world...we don't question that reason much at all. Happy New Year to you both.

Monica and Jay~ I'm am speechless and wiping away tears at the same time, this story is so incredible. I truly believe in miracles and this is just further proof. My heartfelt congratulations to you both!

My husband is Korean by birth and given up for adoption after the Korean war. He was adopted by an American Family and doesn't know anything about his birth family. I can only imagine your joy right now.

Happy New Year!!

Overwhelming. May God's love continue to bless your family.

That was very heart-warming and I wish you the best in finding Jay's mother!

My sister was adopted at birth and later found her birth mother. While it has not been a very smooth reunion with her, it has certainly given my sister some peace and rest in her heart just to have been reunited with her.

Happy New Year and may your search have a happy ending!

What a wonderful and personal thing to share! Thank you.

Oh Monika....I just finished the whole show....and that was the most touching show I have ever watched. Goosebumps still going on. The love you show for your Jay and the way you showed him and his mom ..wherever she may be.... that he is a wonderful person was the most caring thing. Okay, enough of the mushy stuff. Thank you for sharing with us too....I grasp a little part of people when they share a little of them :)

Wow! Congratulations and it really is amazing that it all happened so fast. I hope you have the opportunity to plan a quick in-person reunion to make this chapter more complete. How wonderful. I am so happy for you, "newlyweds"!!!

Jay and Monika -- This is a great blessing. Many thought nothing could top the Patriots win -- but this certainly DOES! I hope you will be able to meet in person soon! It is great that Jay's birth mom is still alive. Enjoy and savor the moment. Happy New Year!

Monika, what a beautiful post. I hope you're successful in finding your husband's mother, but if not, it sounds as if he's surrounded by people who love him and is very lucky!

-Colleen

Thank you Monika for that beautiful post. I will be 53 tomorrow also born in 1954 (just barely) and I have never met my birth father so I know some of the feelings that Jay has. I hope Jay gets the chance to meet his birth mother, but from your post it seems that between you and his adoptive parents he has much love in his life.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU BOTH.

Dear Monika and Jay - I am the "no name birthmother" who wrote earlier on 12/22/07 and Margaret' s friend. I am THRILLED for you guys. WOW - I am getting goosebumps. Your heartfelt perseverance, positiveness and the angels above have merged for this blessed reunion. I do hope you have many years of happiness together and I know your birthmother probably feels like singing from the rooftops. This is the greatest Christmas for all who have been following your story. I wish you the best - Cindy in Crofton, MD

I have just read thru every word of all the comments since arriving home after a little work in between speaking with Klara.

It has been an unbelievable two days and I will continue my story over on my blog later today or first thing in the morning. It has been a very emotional day.

Thank you all for your support and friendship. We read a lot of posts and comments that we are a family here on Active Rain and this sure does prove it.

God Bles you all and we wish you all a very very Happy New Year.

Thank You Cindy, you slipped in there before I uploaded my last comment.

Love, from a Mother of a six years old that...never met his biological father, my ex husband, child wanted, desired, planned, if this could ever make any difference,

I am from Europe, came over here for him. He disappeared when the child was a few months old. Doing well. very well, My son is happy, healthy and I am a very proud Mom. Half American and half European now :-)

And still learning how to spell correctly.

I really don't know how I am writing all this or who could be interested in,...well I am going to type the graphic and sand... and send! See what I mean? happy New Year and all the best to all of you!

Jay has read every single one of your comments out loud and was touched deeply by them all...I'm still crying!

P.M....Thank you for commenting and people are indeed interested! Cindy thank you for following up :)

So many comments and so many well wishes...I'm blown away by them all.

An update...

We spoke with Klara and found out that Jay is one of 3 siblings. Two were adopted (Jay and a sister) and one son was raised by grandparents. We still have much to learn and to digest.

We don't know who Jay's biological father is yet and may never know.

We know that Jay's sister, brother and mother searched for him for years. His sister Anita...never wanted to give up...never wanted to stop looking