As an eldercare consultant I got my feet wet working at our local Alzheimer's Association here in Westchester County, New York. In 1986 I knew little about the "forgetting disease." When I was hired to start a telephone support program for Alzheimer's caregivers, I was handed a copy of "The Thirty Six Hour Day," the go to book of Alzheimer's Disease, and told to read it. And so I started. Since that time, there are many significant lessons I've learned. Five of them I would like to share with you:
1. Not all forgetting is Alzheimer's Disease
A person can have certain vitamin deficiencies, medication interactions, hypothyroidism, depression, an infection or dehydration. Any of these can present with confusion and/or memory loss.
2. Alzheimer's Disease is a form of dementia, but all dementia is not Alzheimer's Disease
Yes, a confusing statement. Alzheimer's Disease is a form of dementia. Dementia is an umbrella term. There are many different types of dementia: vascular, Lewy Body, frontal lobe, Pick's Disease. They all have forgetfulness as their common symptom, but each disease has it's unique manifestations.
3. Don't put people with Alzheimer's Disease back in school
Please don't ask them; "What's my name?" "Mom, what did you have for breakfast?" "Dad, what kind of work did you do?" Asking them questions is not going to strengthen their minds or make the disease go away. Instead, these questions serve as a source of frustration, embarrassment and humiliation.
4. Tell lies
Yes, sometimes you have to lie. I call them "fiblets." And I tell these lies to preserve the safety of an individual. Take Anna. She was forgetting to turn off her stove. I had the super come into her apartment and shut off the gas line. I told Anna there was a leak outside and until the gas leak was fixed, she would not be able to use her stove. She was safe. That was all I cared about. I bought her an automatic electric kettle and arranged for Meals on Wheels.
5. Don't try to change the reality of a person with Alzheimer's Disease.
This is an irrational disease and you can't change it using logic or reason. If a spouse thinks they are living in Norfolk, Virginia where they were born, and they are really living in Rye, New York, don't correct them. Enter their world of reality. Yes, it is bittersweet, but the road only goes in one direction.
My journey as an elder care consultant, started many moons ago at the Alzheimer's Association of Westcheser County. It continues today. Hopefully, in understanding a little more about the disease, it will help you to lessen the stress of caring.
Miriam Zucker is a Certified Professional Geriatric Care Manager and elder care consultant. She is the founder of Directions in Aging (www.directionsinaging.com) based in New Rochelle, New York. She also serves on the faculty of the Brookdale Center for HealthyAging and Longevity of Hunter College in New York City.
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