In November, I introduced an upcoming 4-part series in a post entitled Bits & Pieces (An Inspired By Song! Series).  The first installment entitled So Many Faces In And Out Of My Life  followed shortly thereafter.  If you haven't read it yet, I would suggest doing so, as the story continues where the last installment left off.  This is part 2 of the series...Some Will Last, Some Will Just Be Now And Then.

 

 The chosen path for each of us may have varied as we left high school, but the one thing that we all had in common was that we were all about to start experiencing "real life."  In "real life," you don't have that same comfort level of seeing the same people over and over again.  This new reality required some getting used to, although most of us probably didn't realize that this change was happening until later on in our lives because reflection is a difficult thing to do when you are living in the moment. 

 

Throughout the years leading up to high school graduation, we were all accustomed to seeing the same faces day after day.  The confines of high school helped to create this dynamic.  We were exposed to our fellow classmates on a regular basis, even though we weren't always in the same classes. 

 

After graduation, all of this familiarity came to a grinding halt.  In fact, a number of the people that were a part of my life everyday for many years suddenly disappeared in the blink of an eye, and wouldn't resurface again for ten years, until our high school reunion.  However, there were those that chose not to attend our high school reunion, so they basically were reduced to being nothing more than a fading memory.

 

I didn't come to this realization until many years later.  Quite frankly, there aren't many recent high school graduates that spend a great deal of time wondering which people they may never see ever again.  It's probably a bit too much for the average teenager to wrap their mind around.

 

 The summer after senior year was spent hanging out with my close friends.  The time spent together after that summer would be limited to college breaks.  It was a great summer - a perfect buffer between my youth and the beginning of the rest of my life.  During that summer, I would see many of my fellow classmates at the beach and at the numerous graduation parties that seemed to last right through August.  I don't think that any of us truly realized how much our lives were about to change when the summer ended though. 

 

By the time that I got through orientation week of college (the week before all of the classes started), I had already started to distance myself from my high school days, and started looking forward to my future.  While it was a new and unfamiliar experience, I can honestly say that orientation week was one of the most enjoyable weeks of my life.  It was over twenty years ago, but I can still remember it as if it happened last week. 

 

Oddly enough, the four years that I spent in college after orientation week have all kind of blended together into one big memory.  There will always be certain moments that are more memorable than others, but for the most part, the experience is filed away in my memory bank under the heading "college."  It was a time that was made up of a great deal of change, and it set the course for the rest of my life.  Ultimately, my college years are the foundation that this 4-part series is built upon. 

 

Once orientation week ended, and the classes began, so did the process of seeing people come in and out of my life.  Although my college campus wasn't as big as some of the bigger universities, it was still considerably larger than my high school.  The enormity of it all is exaggerated by the fact that I was really a part of the overall student body, and not just my class.  In high school, I knew everyone in my grade, but my interaction with people from other grades was restricted, for the most part, to sports, and a few elective classes.

 

 In college, every class was, for all intents and purposes, an elective class.  While there were some classes that were predominantly freshmen classes, most of the classes were filled with a mixture of students ranging from freshmen to seniors.  In high school, the classes were all given in one building, and all of the classes took place during the same block of time.   In college, classes were spread out over a whole campus, and each person had their own unique time schedule.  Because college courses weren't conducive to socializing, the majority of the time was spent learning in a room filled mostly with strangers, which is the polar opposite of high school learning.

 

It was, however, easy to meet people in the dorm - a social structure that was comparable to high school.  Outside the comfort zone of the dorm, the college environment really crystallized the significance of the overall message of this series thus far... "so many faces in and out of my life, some will last, some will just be now and then."

 

It felt like the bonds that were created during orientation week would never end, but they did.  It was only a week, so it seemed reasonable that this would happen, particularly when actual course work was thrown into the mix.  The overwhelming workload greatly changed the dynamic that we experienced during orientation week. 

 

However, you would think that the bonds created in the dorm would have had staying power because they were built on being together for an entire school year, but they also didn't last.  Sure, some of the friendships were carried over to the following year, but once people started moving to different dorms, things just weren't the same.  It was as if the magic of the moment was only meant to last for the duration of the school year, and then it was gone forever. 

 

Good friends became casual friends, casual friends became acquaintances, and acquaintances became non-entities over the course of a summer.  This process repeated itself throughout all of the years of college.  Some friends graduated, some transferred to other schools and some didn't make it because of their academic shortcomings.  Many old friends were replaced by new ones, although some lasted through the years. 

 

 

It's sad to say, but the adjustment to the cyclical nature of friendships got easier as the years went by.  I didn't know it at the time, but the cyclical nature of these college friendships was merely an introduction to what was in store for me in the future. 

 

Coming Soon - Life Is A Series Of Hellos And Goodbyes (part 3 of 4)

 

 

 

 

About The Author

Adam Waldman is a Long Island Residential Real Estate and Relocation Specialist that can assist you with the purchase and/or sale of real estate on Long Island or any place else in the country by connecting you with a relocation professional in your destination of choice. Many Long Islanders have chosen to relocate to other parts of the country, but often times they don't have anyone to turn to for assistance. Realizing that this was an underserved market, Adam Waldman has created a team of professionals throughout the country to ensure that relocating Long Islanders enjoy a smooth transition to their new area. These professionals are experts in the field of relocation and can serve many purposes beyond a simple home search. Please visit www.TheLIReloGuy.com for your relocation needs and www.AdamWaldman.com for your local needs.

Adam Waldman - RE/MAX Best - 631-357-2036 - adam@AdamWaldman.com

 
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24 Comments on Some Will Last, Some Will Just Be Now And Then

DEC
22
2007
480,022 Points 151 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Adam...  a great perspective on life in general.  I was the one that always held friendships dearly. And as I got older, it was always frustrating that I always reached out, but never got the same. And sure, it gets tougher as you get older because people change, move, have families... etc etc.

In any case, looking forward to your series.

jeff belonger
11:13pm • #1
119,668 Points 8 Featured Posts Outside Blog

This seems like a great series, Adam - thank you for sharing!  A very timely one for me, as you know my son just came home from school for the holidays.  He's always eager to see his local friends from high school, but then realizes how different each of them has become and he grows eager to return to school to his new "bonded' friends.  Hiscurrent college is different, he has the same classmates for the 2.5 year program that he is in (year round, no summer breaks!) so he has definitely bonded with them, for what I hope will be a life-long bond. 

I am still good friends with a number of my highschool friends, and I graduated almost 25 years ago!  I am closer to them (and they all live several states away) than I am with most of my local friends, who are more like close acquaintances, unfortunately.  Again, a great piece!

11:28pm • #2
121,298 Points 6 Featured Posts Outside Blog
This seems like a very interesting series. I can't wait to read them all.
11:34pm • #3
422,149 Points 59 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog

Adam:  As always, great post!  You hit the nail on the head with your description/analysis of those wonderful years.  So, if you're wondering if you're 'normal,' wonder no more!!

Happy Holidays!

Debe in Charlotte, NC

11:38pm • #4
Adam, It is amazing that we realize so much, or the bigger picture when reflecting back.  Like the chapters of a story unfolding.  Nice post and an interesting series. 
11:59pm • #5
DEC
23
2007
Thoughtful post, I look forward to your next one.
1:03am • #6
121,418 Points 2 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Hello Adam!  It is interesting to look back and see the changes that we all go through with friendships.  I still have friends from when I was in Kindergarten, believe it or not.  There are others that I long to see, just to simply say, "you were such an important part of my life and I love you".  Friends don't become apart of our lives by chance, we learn so much from each other and make that next step in life that we need to.  Some friendships do grow apart, but most are never forgotten.  

Recently I was reading a website set up for the class of 1988 for my High School, which announces our 20 year reunion coming up in 2008.  Attached is a folder with "in memory of".  Initially when I saw that button, my mind said "oh, we are too young, there will be nobody there".  As I clicked the folder upon the screen appeared 4 of my classmates.  4 lives, 4 families and many people who will miss them all dearly.  I found myself sobbing for some time and wishing that I could just say something to each person again, just see their smiles, just see the beautiful blue eyes of one of my friends, and my heart ached for those that had them in their lives each and every day.  I then realized, although it's been 20 years since I've seen all 4 of these wonderful people, the memories were flooding back as if it were yesterday. My friends, I will cherish forever.

Sorry my heart spilled out on your post.  You my friend are a wonderful person and I hope for you and your family to have a very Happy Holiday and a New Year filled with greatness.  

1:20am • #7
228,650 Points 22 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog

In the grand scheme, if we're lucky, life is a constant series of new experiences. Some leave a lasting impression and remain always remain with us... others fade as quickly as they came.  Great post, btw.  Merry Christmas, Adam!

3:31am • #8
418,499 Points 48 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog

Adam my friend,

I was just cycling through, and want to tell you that you're part of the inspiration for my Christmas post I put up last night!  Thanks much.

Mike in Tucson

5:37am • #9
408,112 Points 74 Featured Posts Outside Blog
My wife always got together with 3 other room mates when we were first married. It went on for years but after a while they fade...when you get married and have children those friends from our younger years usually move onto the next part of life...there aren't many people who have time for the same type of social activities. Basically you grow up...get married and have kids. Most of my married friends keep in touch on a limited basis and maybe get to see us once a year if we are lucky. Things change.
7:22am • #10
167,412 Points 6 Featured Posts Outside Blog
Adam,  Thanks for the introspection and perspective.  I've never really thought of the cyclical nature of friendships, but this is so true.  It's funny, but your talk about orientation had me reminiscing about mine. 
7:50am • #11
178,600 Points 9 Featured Posts Outside Blog
Adam ~ There is an old adage that says, "Some people come into your life for a reason, some for a season, and others for a lifetime".  I truly believe this, and looking back have realized those relationships for what they were/are. 
8:19am • #12
575,618 Points 95 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Hit Router
It's true, Adam. I use to refer to my "other life", then one day I heard a little voice telling me to STOP saying that. That all of life is a journey and all the dots connect. Some of my closet friends are from college, not many from high school and many from the early days of marriage and having small children.
8:44am • #13
648,531 Points 104 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Hit Router
Adam-It is interesting to read all this from your perspective. I have no idea of any of this, all foreign to me. We moved around so much with and without the Navy that there really were few roots grown. Then I only went to my Freshman year of highschool and took the GED with a special exemption for my age, and started modeling and acting at the age of 15; and thus continued the moving around! Katerina
4:37pm • #14
230,656 Points 30 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog
Adam, your name sounds familiar.  Let me think about this for a second.  Adam Waldman ... hmm.  Were we in social studies together?  No.  Did I sell you a ... no, that was Jon Waldman.  Adam Waldman, Adam Waldman.  Sorry.  Drawing a blank here.
6:22pm • #15
656,514 Points 108 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog
Adam - I have pondered this subject myself many times.  There are friends that I thought I would know forever that I haven't seen or heard from in many years, and there are others that I figured would only be "school friends" that have remained close since junior high or even grade school.  Nicely done on this post!  You encapsulated the feelings that many of us had during our college years.  Great stuff.
10:28pm • #16
DEC
28
2007
270,988 Points 41 Featured Posts Outside Blog
HI EVERYONE:  Thank you for your comments.  Since this is winter break, it's been a busy time with the kids, so I'm behind on responding to comments.  I will do so as soon as possible.
8:02am • #17
2 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor
Nice post, Adam.  The holidays get me to thinking alot about my friendships(or, lack of them? Or, what happened to them?).  As a child I moved around quite a bit, and I think that as a result, in the past I have tended to let friendships drop quite easily.  But not the true friends, the ones you can call after 3 years and pick things up like it was yesterday.  In the past year I am making much more of an effort to build strong friendships with certain people and add more friends to my list.  Funny that being in Real Estate has helped me do that. 
9:51am • #18
202,120 Points 6 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Hi Adam, This a a nice reflection on how friendships ebb and wane. I am still close to friends I knew in Boston from nursery school days. Close to some high school friends, and friends and roomies I made after college living in NYC. Funny there is no one from college ( I went to school in DC) that I stayed in touch with. I have been thinking about reconnecting with a couple.. Time and geographical distance just have gotten in the way.

Have a blast with the family! 

2:21pm • #19
4 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor
Adam, I think we move through the first part of life before coming to the realization that friendships do come in and out of our lives.  Some will pass and some are worth every effort you can make.  I have a few college friends that I'm still very close to.  They are the kind of friends where may not see each other much, but can pick up the conversation as if it were yesterday we last spoke.  They are a treasure to me.  There are a few people I let drift away that I regret losing.  I'm more careful, now, realizing that some people are really worth the time spent and whose friendship is valuable beyond words.  I could get better at keeping up my contact, though, be more conscientious on my end. 
2:40pm • #20
JUL
21
2008
147,548 Points 6 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Adam:  As some others have said above, thanks for sharing...I'm enjoying this series! 

 

Bob Mitchell

ValueList Real Estate Services, Inc.

11:54am • #21
AUG
03
2008
255,473 Points 34 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog

Adam, this reinforces the fact that we must always savor the moment. We only get that moment once and it's gone. Life forces lead us all in many different directions and many people I would love to be close to once more are totally unattainable. This series is from your heart and I just love it.

Thank you for sharing these personal thoughts.

Deb

11:24am • #22
AUG
05
2008
Outside Blog

Adam I didn't do the "dorm" thing and always thought I missed out on some sort of eternal bonding but maybe not.  Thanks for a new insight.  On to part 3.

1:22am • #23
AUG
13
2008

Thank you for your comments.  Since this is winter break, it's been a busy time with the kids, so I'm behind on responding to comments.  I will do so as soon as possible.

Hey Adam,

I like your topic.  It's very thought-provoking.  Now we're ready for those promised responses!  :)

Not Yet Licensed
2:16pm • #25

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Adam Waldman - Long Island REALTOR®

Hauppauge, NY

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Westcott Group Real Estate Company

Cell Phone: (631) 357-2036

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Long Island Real Estate and Relocation Specialist. Please read my blog for tips on how to sell your home for the most amount of money in the shortest amount of time, general real estate advice and consultation on out-of-state relocations. View Adam Waldman's profile on LinkedIn <!-- Start of StatCounter Code -->
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