Divorce often necessitates the sale of family homes. Selling your Long Beach Homes does not have to become a damaging event in your lives. Couples coming to terms with the loss of love, past memories, dealing with the present and trying to plan for the future, need to maintain a level head throughout this process; not always an easy task. Well intentioned friends and relatives are offering you advice on your divorce, your children, your careers, the sale of your home, your future; all adding to the overwhelming stress you are already experiencing. It has been my experience that this is best handled when realistic boundaries are set at the beginning of the process.
Over the years many of my clients have become cherished friends. In a divorce situation it is difficult, when you like both parties, to stay neutral, but is absolutely necessary. Over time I have developed what I now refer to as my Switzerland speech. It has proven to be very effective and goes something like this:
"As your Realtor® it is my job to market and sell your Long Beach Home. This is best accomplished if you both agree to view me as Switzerland. While I am not insensitive to what is going on in your lives, it is best if you both exclude me from your conversations regarding the divorce issues that do not apply to the sale. Over the course of this transaction you will both be called upon to make joint decisions, we need to agree that when we speak on the phone, you come to my office or when I come to your home, we keep the conversation limited to the business of selling your home. It would be most unfortunate if either of you thought that I was biased toward the other, I certainly do not want either of you to think that. Can we all agree on this?"
Recently I read an article on couples seeking kinder, gentler divorces. An approach many couples are now embracing called "Collaborative Divorce", which has been endorsed by the American Bar Association as part of a broader quest to find more civilized and efficient ways to end a marriage. Thousands of attorneys are realizing how damaging the adversarial process is to their clients, are embracing this new method of divorce and are seeking training in collaborative law. Other couples are turning to mediation as a viable alternative to messy, expensive and damaging processes.
Mediation and Collaborative divorces are much more economical and confidential. Boston Law Collaborative analyzed 199 of its recent divorce cases and found that mediation, collaborative divorce and litigation all produced high rates of successful settlement. Mediation was by far the least expensive option, with a median cost of $6,600, compared to $19,723 for a collaborative divorce, $26,830 for settlements negotiated by rival lawyers, and $77,746 for full-scale litigation.
If you are interested in reading the full article it can be found here. It is a very good read, I highly recommend it.
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