You're a Murderer! I will never forget those words for as long as I live. I was in a Southern California hospital when I heard a male voice screaming at the top of his lungs... You're a Murderer. The voice was angry and desperate and seemed oddly familiar to me... it was my brother.
The Fall of 1995 had been a trying time for us. My brother and I had been camped out in the Intensive Care Unit for over a month. Our Mother was admitted to the hospital with Pancreatitis just 30 days earlier. Sadly, as a result of hospital negligence, our Mother ended up in the ICU on a respirator, which left her unable to speak. My brother and I took turns pulling 12-hour shifts to be by our Mother's side.
It was a cold, dark place from the very beginning. We did what we could to illuminate our Mother's room with happy, cheerful pictures of her family, along with crayon drawings produced by her two grand-children. But nothing could disguise the stark reality of what began to unfold there... every patient who had checked into the Intensive Care Unit did not leave alive.
We felt helpless, exhausted and emotionally spent as we watched the doctor and nurses give up on our Mom. They tried everything to convince us to 'pull the plug.' They even tried to guilt us out by saying our Mother was taking up a bed that could be used to save the life of a 'younger' patient. Damn them! Our Mother was the youngest patient (55 yrs old) to occupy a bed in that Intensive Care Unit during the previous 30 days.
Our Mother's doctor believed we were in denial... but we were not. Our Mother had Multiple Sclerosis our entire lives and she made her wishes known to us from day one... She loved life and wanted to live! When the doctor's guilt-trip didn't work on us, he tried something far more drastic. He told us she was brain dead and that we needed to make a decision.
I remember feeling sick to my stomach that morning. It was my shift to be with Mom when I was hit with the devastating news. Her doctor pressured me to make the decision to pull the plug, but I said no, I wanted to wait and talk to my brother. While I waited, another doctor came into the room to check our Mother's pulmonary vitals. I asked why he was wasting his time since our Mother was brain dead. He asked, 'Who told you that?' I said, 'Her doctor.' He said, 'Your mother isn't brain dead and I can prove it to you. It takes brain cells to initiate a breath. If I disconnect your Mother's breathing tube and she takes a breath, she's not brain dead.' He did just that and our Mother took a breath!
When my brother arrived at the hospital, I told him what had just happened. We agreed to go to lunch and talk about what we would do next. As we headed out, I stopped at a restroom while my brother waited in the lobby. That's when I heard those unforgettable words... 'You're a Murderer and you're trying to kill our Mother!' Unbeknownst to me, the doctor had chased us down the hall and caught up with my brother in the lobby. He thought he could persuade him to pull the plug since he got no where with me. To his utter surprise, along with many other people sitting in the lobby, he received a mouthful of vernaculars spewed at him by my brother, who held nothing back in that moment... God bless him!
There's so much more to this story, and someday I hope to share it with you. Today is our Mother's birthday, and while she hasn't been with us for 17 years, not a day goes by that we don't think of her. Her name was Elizabeth and she could brighten any room with her smile. She was the most beautiful, optimistic and cheerful woman we have ever known. And on this very special day, my brother and I look to the heavens with grateful admiration that our Mother was given to us for a short time. She had a Brave Heart, a Strong Will, and a Courageous Spirit! We love you Mom and we miss you!
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