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64 Comments on You can Solicit the Family of the Deceased, but be a little more Professional
I like how you would have handled this prospecting letter better than how it was actually written. I can't imagine feeling good about a sales pitch when you've just lost a loved one.
Jeanne - Divorces are the worst. Who needs all that drama? It's hard enough with normal people.
Russel - Being in the middle of it, I could think it through.
Janis - Yes, even if you know the family you have to wait and let them lead the discussion.
Cindy - I don't watch it but I've heard it's really funny. I'll bet she's a hoot.
Gretchen - I just think that there is a line that you cross over when you're too aggressive.
dfg dsg - Thanks for the Spam. Not.
Michelle - It's a fine line.
Judi - Being on the other end is what inspired this.
Suzanne - Thank you. Friends like you have really been what's helped me through this. Lots of love and support that I feel daily.
I would like to tell you that I am sorry for your loss as well. You have had a tough 2012. As far as that agent goes, I would keep him in the circular file.
Too agressive for me. We had a agent years ago that visited the funeral homes. He did pick up a lot of business this way but it may have been business he would have gotten anyway.
Hi Connie, this is a tough situation. My sincerest condolences to you. Agents send out letters for all of life's issues, what makes this is a bad one? I like your response better. And even you after thinking about it was not offended.
Yes, that first letter you received was tacky and the wrong approach. As I got much older and my friends and relatives started to die and I found the loved ones needed some kind of help from day one, and I started to offer it, not the meaningless if I can do anything for you let me know speech.
Yes, die is OK, you don't need to sugar coat everything with passed on, crossed to the other side, returned home, or the other dozens of ways of saying someone died, that is what happened, they died) I found that a persons business affairs were more often then not in disarray. And help was often welcome and expertise did not usually exist in the group of heirs and some times when it did the other heirs needed protection from that heir.
So being there to help, and I really mean help is a great service, but do the right thing, help them, do not be narrowly focused on just getting an immediate listing, instead maybe you will get a listing if it is the best thing for them to do, and if it isn't tell them so. You need not be an ambulance chaser or one of the other terms used, you can be a counselor and adviser and a major help and many times it will be free, but if your going to give away your time and effort make it one of these people, you will feel good about it. Helping someone without a clue at a difficult time is a good cause.
Stay away from deaths and probates if your not going to do the right thing. As for probate attorneys two of my offices were inbuildings full of attorneys, every office but mine, and the consensus was being a probate attorney was having a license to steal, and I saw a ton of actual cases where that happened, you may have read of some, so one of your offerings might be to recommend a probate attorney, or two, they can trust.
My father in law was a met life agent for 45 years and one Sunday at dinner he said to me you know the number one regret of surviving spouses that he met later was selling the home because of pressure from friends and relatives. I didn't work probates but I had my assistant send those people a letter with my father in laws story and suggested they give it some thought. I would get nasty calls not from the surviving spouse, they were often grateful and said so, I didn't follow-up for business, just that first letter. Who I got nasty calls from were heirs with their own motives and I didn't hesitate to ask them what they were up to, and they were sorry they made the call, those were the only people I followed up on by stopping by the survivors home and asking if my letter had upset them and to apologize if it did. Surprise, none were offended or upset and the trigger was heirs having their plans interfered with.
Yep, your response is much better. It's a really delicate situation.
In reading all of these responses, the one thing that keeps popping up is to work through a probate attorney. The problem I see with that is that in a small town, for instance, there may only be a half dozen attys. who do probate work. There are thousands of families in the county. The probate lawyers inevitably have one or two Realtors they work with over and over again. That leaves everyone else without any chance of referral and the families without any chance of meeting up with some very good Realtors who may have just not gotten in with the in crowd of attorneys.
I like Connie's sensitive but definative offer of help and just as a way to let people know you're out there. I'm not saying it would apply to every instance but it is a good approach in some cases.
Kay - I can't even imagine! OMGosh, more that just tacky.
Joan - Not my cup of tea. I just thought if you wanted to go after it, do it in a better way.
Hella - Losing a child is the worst possible thing. Part of me says "just leave us alone!"
Tammy - Thank you.
Jeff - We most of us know who we don't want to do business with.
Christine - Thanks
Bob - I stay away from them too. Who needs the grief.
Connie,
I will admit I think about this and how to do, yet I (and maybe to my demise) DO NOT mention anything about real estate at all while the grieving is in play. about 50% of the time someone whom I am connected to will say, We will call you about so-and-so's home once we get through the funeral......that is enough for me.
I will send something to let them know I am still thinking of them and their loved one, at the earliest 2-3 weeks after all is done, yet again do not mention the property.
Valerie - It went to the basket alright. And all the others too.
Jeff - Every situation is different, and people need to be more sensitive.
Neal - Talk about ambulance chasers! Yikes.
Brenda - It's funny, being on the receiving end of the solicitation it really makes you think.
Ron - Thank you. He was a great guy.
Allison - It does take time but you can't close probate until the property is sold too. I think a little more time in between might have helped.
Marti - I really didn't like it at all. Thankfully I have a very dear friend in Columbus who is a Realtor.
Chris Ann - You're already numb and my thought was "Really?"
Joni -Couldn't agree with you more!
Don - Thank you so much. God never gives us more than we can handle.
Debbie -I can't even imagine. But we're all made differently.
Sandy - It just is what it is. I tossed it.
Brian - You're right. It's the heirs who are scary. Thankfully we're pretty much on the same page.
Lyn - I just looked at it from how I felt receiving the letter.
Leslie - I can see where it would be more difficult in that situation.
Cheryl - Sometimes it's all you can say. And often enough, it's the best received.
Dan - Very appropriate.
Connie, I'm sorry for the loss of your Dad. I remember how I felt when I lost mine. I recall my Mom getting calls from agents and I remember her telling them off for lacking any kindness or consideration. I do not prospect tragedies. It's that simple. Congratulations on this feature post!
I'm sure its already been said but too tired to read 61 comments. I'd send a card with condolensces and hand write "When you are ready to talk about estate information I'm available" or something to that effect. Its more personal to send a card.
Connie I only read half of your post 0 that was enough for me. In 36 years I have not and have not considered reading and soliciting off the obituary column
Emily - Thank you. It's been a roller coaster of emotions these past few weeks.
Cathy - Almost anything would have been better than how they handled it.
Karen - Me either. It's just not our style.
There is a lot of business there and I know those same people send letters to the divorce files. It is a hard topic to approach, but someone has to do it. (Right now, that isn't me)
Todd - Being the person that received the letter really made it clear to me. Not anything I want to do either.