Compartmentalizing God

Compartmentalizing God

I wonder how many of you have undergone the same metamorphosis.

Earlier in my life…in an effort to fit in, I tried to please everyone. To the buddies I bowled with, I was one person. I could be crude and lewd with the best of them. To my fellow workers, I could be Mr. Cold and Calculating. To my wife and kids, I could me Mr. Warm and Fuzzy. To members of my Parish, I could be Mr. Holier than Thou.

I tried to be all things to all people, and by doing so…I became lost.

When we think of peer pressure, we tend to think of it in terms of adolescent behavior. Based on my life, I think peer pressure helps to control our actions until we draw our last dying breath. There is an extremely strong urge to fit in. No one wants to venture down the path to the right, when everyone else went to the left at the fork in the road.

I wonder how many of you have had the following same experience.

Did any of you ever have an abrupt change in your life’s direction after a moral compass correction? I have had it happen to me several times in my life. Things I had spent years contemplating, with no clear-cut answer, suddenly became crystal-clear to me. It was if God has this wisdom box, and every once in a while, He allows us to lift the lid and peek inside for a brief second, or two. And after lifting that lid, that answer you have pondered for decades comes upon you in an instant.

After lifting that “lid” for a brief moment, I saw myself as God sees me. I was like the little toddler hiding from his parents. I had my head under the bed, thinking that I was well hidden…but the rest of me was in plain sight. Suddenly, I felt ashamed. From this new perspective, I could see that God sees everything. While I could hide all my different personalities from my friends, my fellow workers, my family…I could not hide them from God.

From that moment on, I vowed to be more careful in what I said, and in what I did. If I wouldn’t want to say or do it in front of God, then maybe I shouldn’t do or say it. Whether we want to acknowledge it or not, everything we do or say is in front of God.

There is a price to pay when you finally become one person again. You may lose a few friends.  It may cost you a promotion at work when you refuse to follow the crowd. Yet there really is no alternative.

I’d like to leave you with this little parable. I am sorry; I don’t know the author’s name to give him, or her credit…

The Story of the Two Wolves

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside all people. He said, 'My son, the battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all. 

            One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. 
            The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.'

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: 'Which wolf wins?' The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”