The calendar on the wall tells me that it is December 27th, so that can only mean one thing. Actually, that can mean many things, but let's focus on the agenda at hand.
It's resolution time.
I have already laid out a paradigm shift that I will employ in my personal life for the coming year, and now it is time to address the additional goals and changes that are in store for yours truly.
- 2008 will be the year that I employ dramatic pratfalls while showing my listings. The object is to keep the buyer in the house as long as possible, right? We'll be there for an extra half hour as they wait for me to regain consciousness from the Triple Lindy I perform in the foyer.
- I will shave my head and join the local Hare Krishna chapter before spending another dime on fruitless newspaper advertising in 2008. If I am going to light my money on fire, I would at least like to enjoy the pretty flame.
- I will not fall for the banana in the tailpipe.
- I will continue to ignore the expert Real Estate analysis that is provided by the likes of shrieking red-faced, future stroke victims on CNBC who pick stocks for a living.
- I will listen attentively to the sellers who provide an hour long explanation of what they need to sell their house for before politely telling them that the market doesn't care.
- I will spice up my open houses with B-list celebrity participation. Come on, are you telling me you wouldn't stop by if Isaac from The Love Boat was serving mimosas?
- I will remember to pick up the dry cleaning ... from 2006.
- I move another year closer to being able to use the long-awaited slogan "2010: The Year We Make Contract."
- I resolve to have two of the six slots in my car's CD changer loaded with Bryan Adams and a "various artists" compilation of "O Canada" renditions. Our neighbors to the North will be buying a lot of Scottsdale Real Estate this year!
- Obtain first place position on Google for Scottsdale AZ Real Estate, Phoenix AZ Real Estate, Paradise Valley AZ Real Estate and McCormick Ranch Real Estate. Now how's that for shameless keyword insertion! I'm one step closer already!
- Learn all there is to know about the human spleen.
- Make it through a full day without uttering a quote from Glory at some point . "Some day they're gonna let the fifty fourth in it." Darn.
- Return all of the pens, appointment books, refrigerator magnets, bagels and cream cheese that lenders, title companies and home inspectors bestow upon me to solicit my business. How about one single, solitary referral instead?
- Finally determine who let the dogs out so The Baha Men can rest in peace.
- Attend each and every Scottsdale City Council meeting for the sole purpose of publicly expressing just how terrible of a youth soccer coach Councilman Littlefield was.
- Arrive for home inspections 15 minutes early to cue up "The Imperial March" (Darth Vader's Theme) from Star Wars on the home theater. Crank it all the way up, and blast that puppy as the inspector walks through the front door.
- When representing a buyer, insert the following language next to the "offer rejected by seller box" on all of my contracts: "I like you. Do you like me? If so, do not check this box!"
- I will stop buying every new gadget for business that comes on the market. I'll just use this stylus to make a note of that.
- With a straight face, I will tell the next person who asks, How's Real Estate? "Stable. We don't get many earthquakes here in Scottsdale."
- I will demand that my father requires others to address him in the form of a question in 2008. To this day, he has not adequately proven to me that he is not, in fact, Alex Trebek.
"I'll take Scottsdale Real Estate for 1000, Ray!"
With my goals clearly defined for the coming year, it is truly going to be one for the books. Best of luck to everyone in 2008, in both your personal and professional lives. Scott Baio, Ralph Macchio, Corey Haim and I look forward to seeing you at my open houses!
Paul Slaybaugh with Realty Executives is your source for Scottsdale AZ Real Estate. While Paul (thankfully) has absolutely no association with the above "celebrities," he does know how to sell houses. It's been a family tradition since 1974. For all of your Scottsdale, Phoenix and Paradise Valley AZ Real Estate needs, call Paul today at (480) 948-9450 or send him an email at paul@rayandpaul.com.
Paul Slaybaugh, Scottsdale AZ Real Estate 
Hey pal - who are you calling a "b-list" celebrity? Maybe you should 
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Paul- LOL, I am still laughing! I love your Hari Krishna idea! That is a much better use of your money than wasting it on print advertising! I just wish all the other agents would get a clue or better yet, educate the sellers that it is just a For Me thing going on. Katerina