Meet Mr. Corporate America or "PLEASE DON"T GIVE ME 200 POINTS FOR THIS!"

To all my ActiveRain friends and friendly co-workers,   In my ascent to Corporate America and goal as soon to be top producer and golden boy guru in the mortgage industry it is crucial for my level of importance to meet the pretentious expectations of our beloved yuppie peers.  With that being said I will need the following to expediate my pending arrival to the status of the likes of Trump, Greenspan, Dan Pinto, Carlton Sheets, Kenneth Lay, and of course Jerry Falwell.  Note my following needs.   I will need a fiancee, accountant, financial advisor, ex-wife, attorney, mistress, secretary, driver, a board of directors, and bone-white business cards with Sr. President & World Guardian in platinum blond print enclosed in my custom made jewel casing holder.   Any phone calls for me must be met in the oncoming weeks with this retort as layed out here verbatim, "I'm sorry but Mr. Sardi is on his way out the door talking to his financial advisor  while his driver and board of directors awaits.  After the meeting he is having lunch with his fiancee and accountant before he meets promptly with his attorney about the falsified rumors concerning an unnamed mistress perpetrated by his gold digging ex-wife.  Would you like to leave a message for his secretary?"  Thanks in advance for this humble request.  By the way, can anyone lend me a Beamer?