Isn't this world an interesting place? We're all unique, with our own personal preferences and ways of doing things. It's that unique individuality that keeps things fascinating.
My post today is on this topic, based on a recent comment left on my post about Florida's Vanishing Wetlands, by Jon Zolsky. Jon is an agent in the same area as me. As I already knew, Jon and I have very different personalities and ways of doing business. I knew this because I've read and commented on a few of his posts, and he has likewise done the same for me.
In Jon's recent comment, he spoke of stirring the pot, to get people in a debate. Jon made a good point. It's a great way to hear all the differing points of view. But it's not my way of doing things. And I guess because I had already noticed that Jon and I had very different ways of doing things, I assumed he had noticed as well. In my assumption (we all know why we shouldn't assume!), I responded to Jon that he knew how I felt about debating. My mistake. Jon was not aware of my feelings about debate. And for that comment, I owe Jon an apology! In all actuality, Jon was probably trying to help me. By his way of doing things, in a debate manner, he would generate more discussion and comments on my post. Thank you, Jon!
But in a world of differing personalities, beliefs and opinions, I have a way to accomplish this as well. And it's different than Jons'. As I think Jon does, I also welcome ALL opinions! I want to know why you feel the way you do about something. I'm interested in the situations that have shaped you and your beliefs.
But my mother taught me a specific way of communicating. And right now, I want to say "Thank You!" to my mom. =) I'll elaborate on my communication style in just a moment. Just allow me to digress a little bit first.
I previously wrote a post about the DISC Personality System. I've used this system in business for about 14 years. In the past, when I was in management, I actually administered the associated questionnaire to potential agents and employees. By knowing someone's personality traits, I could more effectively communicate with them. If you use the DISC system, over time you'll learn how to quickly pickup on some basic personality traits without having to administer a questionnaire.
The bottom line is, just because you or I have a certain way of communicating does not mean we can use OUR way with every person we meet. Especially in sales, we have to adapt to the preferences and communication style of the customer. (I suppose this has nothing and yet everything to do with my conversation with Jon.) Rather than repeat what I already have in my DISC post, I'll let you read it there. But I wanted to direct you to that post before I continue with what my mom taught me. And what she taught me will many times go against my primary personality type. But then, I top the charts in THREE areas of that system! Talk about having my own internal conflicts!
Now for mom: My mother taught me that you can say anything to anyone without offending them, if you say it in the right way. Now this is where the DISC system comes into effect for me. If I don't know the personality of someone, I can't effectively communicate with them, unless they just happen to be the same as me!
- Now, to demonstrate what mom taught me, as I make my statements in the next paragraph, I'm going to place in parenthesis, the parts my mother taught me to add, which would keep people from being offended and reacting to my statements (assuming they're really paying attention anyway, but that's a whole other post)...
As for commenting on blog posts, "I feel that" it's not at all difficult to discuss our differences in a polite manner that will continue to stimulate more comments and conversation. Debate is completely unnecessary, "in my opinion". The problem I have with debate is that the parties who are debating are not "usually" trying to see anyone else's point of view. They're "often times" just trying to prove their own. "In my opinion", that is not effective communication. That's why I choose my words carefully and put a lot of thought into a comment if I'm going to disagree with the blog poster. My goal is to keep the conversation going, without arguing. (Yes, "I consider" debating and arguing to be the same thing.) Then, when we've reached a point when there is obviously nothing else that can be said, without resorting to arguing, we then agree to disagree, and part ways until
next time.
Get it?
But that's just my way of doing things. In using the DISC Personality System, most people are a combination of personality types. The hard part for me and those around me, is that I score very high in some opposing characteristics. And some days I'm operating in a mode that is not my usual dominant trait. (Talk about confusing the heck out of people who don't know me very well!)
I've read posts before, from people who took it upon themselves to tell everyone else how they should comment. I wrote my own post on that subject! To Comment or Not to Comment. Feel free to read my opinions on that. I think that would be one of my posts where I felt like just saying my exact opinion, without trying to water it down! I think we all have those days... some more than others, depending on our personality types.
So happy blogging, happy commenting, and Happy New Year! Viva La Difference!
EDIT: READ THE COMMENTS FOR THIS POST. A LOT MORE IS EXPLAINED IN THOSE CONVERSATIONS =)
;)
Tags (Tag Cloud);)
Archives
;)
Hi Lisa: In my opinion, it sounds like your mother was very wise in choosing to share with you her communication style. Often times people who put forth ideas... make them sound more like universal truths rather than an idea that is their opinion. Rarely does stating something as a "universal" leave any room for doing anythng except either blindly agreeing with the comment, or coming back four-square and disagreeing with the comment.
There is always the third option, which is to just keep quiet. This is often the case when the speaker or writer sound so avidly sure of what he or she is saying that there appears to be no room for anyone else's opinion, unless that person wants to risk being told how stupid they are for having an opinion different from that of the writer.
I remeber your DISC post, and I will have to go back and re-read it. I think I remember that just after your post, I wrote a post about the MBTI... the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. I need to continue that series and write the other three parts of it. Thanks for sharing this with us, because it made me think of that.
Take care... and thanks for sharing.