North Carolina Denies the Right of Marriage Equality

Debbie... you bring up a great example that I will expand upon, if I may.  You shared that you have a "common law" marriage.  Cool Beans !  And I am so glad it works well for you.

But just think.  Right now there is some dummie "out there" who may just think that anyone having a "common law' marriage "dilutes" that person's so-called "traditional christian sacramental marriage."  Baloney.  One has nothing to do with the other.

Each time two hearts come together as one... a very special creation happens.  How the honored and loving creation that one couple makes between them can lessen what two other people have chosen... is complete nonsense !

Unfortunately there will be those who will insist that what they personally have chosen is what EVERYBODY else should also be doing.  Again... Baloney !  If what they are doing works for them... wonderful.  Just don't try and turn that into a law, and then insist that everyone must "do it their way."

Gay, I think you really have the only answer that will ever work... which is the simple passing of time.  As the older, more traditional generation disappears, and the younger, more "open" generation continues to "bloom"... the prejudices of times gone by will gradually disappear, and the incredibly insecure need to control that the older generation seems to be mired in... will fade.

Until that time... Marriage Equality will change incrementally... until one day... it will sneak up on us... and become the norm.

Lloyd in #52:  First of all... I am glad you read my post, and I value you as a subscriber.

Now... (LOL) I really need to respond to this "slippery slope" nonsense.  I took out my "truth and rights" microscope, and put the subject of "marriage equality" under that microscope... and Guess What ?  Nothing else was connected to it.  And it was not on a "slippery slope."  It was on a flat surface... just "sitting there." 

It just... was !

The government is NOT in the business of dictating choice.  Marriage Equality is NOT about having a "new right" being "given."   It is about a right that has been there all the time... simply and finally being "recognized."

Recognizing a same-sex couple's "already-existing but currently denied" right to marry the person of their choice... does NOT mean anyone is dictating anything.  You make it sound like recognizing two women's right to marry will mean that YOU, or other straight folks... will have to marry a person of your sex.  That... is just plain silly.

Dictate what religion you can choose ?  Where in the world did you get this ?  Oh, let me guess.  It's one of those slippery slope things ?  If the government does anything, it should be affirming everyone's already existing right to equality.  That is what makes DOMA unconstitutional.  The "Defense of Marriage Act" does not affirm the universal right to marriage, it denies it.  It makes it "unequal."

This reminds me of the Orwell's book Animal Farm.  One of the quotes from it said "All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others."  We, as a country, have still not learned that.  Why not ?

Why are so many so incredibly insecure in themselves that they cannot recognize that others already have the same rights that they do.  Equal = Equal.

America is not a Theocracy.  Everyone is allowed to believe whatever religious beliefs they choose, and to live their OWN lives by them.  What they are not "allowed"... is to turn those religious beliefs into LAWS... and then to FORCE everyone else to conform to those laws... as if they were believers in that religion.

American should not be the land of religious extremism... but in many ways, that is what America is becoming.  So.  Very.  Sad.

Emily in #53:  This marriage stuff should all be so simple.  Unfortunately, those who want/need America to turn into a Theocracy, and want America's laws to mimic their religious beliefs, seem to be having their way more and more.  It has got to stop.

I tried to make my response in comment #54 fairly simple and easy to understand, even though it is so long.  It should all be able to be expressed in three little words.  Equal.  Means.  Equal.

I am envious, and delighted by your being together with your life-partner for thirty-five years.  That is so awesome.  There are so many heterosexual couples who should be envious, as well.  Congratulations.

The closet is a terrible place to be.  I think it has only been perhaps ten or fifteen years ago, maybe even just five years, that so many were so terrified of coming out of their closet, either by their own choice, or by being "outed."

I don't know when it changed.  Maybe part of it happened when those happy but terrified folks IN their closets began to figure out that many of the gay suicides that were happening... part of the reason for them was the painful feeling that they were alone, and the disheartening LACK of visible role models.

Gradually some of the braver folks recognized the need to come out of their closets and be visible.  Gosh, I give those women and men credit.  Probably one of the most notable was Ellen Degeneres.  I am sure you remember the horrors Ellen endured when she shared her soul in public.  There were so many who, if they could have figured out how to do it, and get away with it, would have burned her at the stake, or stoned her.

Bless Ellen for her courage.  Bless anyone who chooses to finally be visible.  And Bless You for sharing yourself in your comment.

How scary it must be, and is, for anyone to finally take that very first step and open that closet door just a tweak... and begin to smell the fresh air, and finally become a full-life participant in the rest of the world.

Sheila:  You ask why does anyone care if it is the same or opposite sex people ?  The answer to that is so simple.  They most likely have been "spoon fed" the poison of intolerance, and the lie of forming a false conscience. 

Just look at most children before some of them have been taught intolerance.  They don't care.  A friend is a friend, and then later on in their lives... someone you love is simply someone you love.  It is one spirit loving another... and the physical body that "houses" that spirit is just something they received at birth. 

Oh, if only more people felt that way.  And, I am guessing that it is even worse in South Carolina than it is in North Carolina.  Oh how I wish it was not so.