HOW TO KILL AN ACTIVERAIN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE IT BEGINS.

If a new member advertised themselves in a comment to your post, it simply means that they didn't read the ActiveRain Guidelines.

I did the same thing with the first few comments I made back in 2006.  Some old Internet friends (RealTalk) politely pointed out to me the error of my ways.  I didn't take offense.

TOTOH, a local real estate agent (competitor) advertised themselves in a comment to  one of my posts.  When I politely asked them to "kindly remove the link(s) to their web page" from their comment to my post, the response I got was that they "had every right to post whatever they wanted in their comment".

Needless to say, our relationship never blossomed.

Courtesy, Lenn Harley, Homefinders.com, serving home buyers in MD and Northern Virginia.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Via Alan May, Coldwell Banker Realtor® Evanston, Illinois & Northern Suburbs (847.425.3779 almay@aol.com):

Personal interaction.  They say that if you don't occasionally ruffle some feathers, you're not doing it right.  Well I must be doing it great, 'cause I sure ruffled some feathers yesterday.

I wrote a post about a newbie who'd done some self promotion on my blog.  She didn't do it intentionally, she just didn't know. I tried to tell her about her faux pas, by noting the error in my comment, sending her a private e-mail, and writing that post... the post did contain a screen-shot of her comment, but anything personal had been blurred out to be illegible, but some felt that was the straw that broke the camel's back.

It was done with the best of intentions, but many felt that it was over the top, and that I'd unduly embarrassed the woman, and potentially scared off a newbie.  In trying to offer a Netiquette Refresher, I seem to have broken that very Internet Ettiquette myself.

Surely not my intent.  Merely in way of explaining my intent, I thought that showing the error, would be educational for other newbies.  Instead, many felt it would scare newbies away, and made me out to be a heartless ogre, with a Napoleon complex... or something like that.

So, to the newbie that I unduly embarrassed... I humbly apologize.  As I said in my private e-mail to you: I hope this doesn't scare you away from Active Rain.  It's a great platform with a lot of wonderful people... you'll like it here, if you can get past my inhospitable welcome.

I considered, reposting her blurred-out photo... but I imagine that would ruffle more feathers, and would only reinflict the damage done, and that's the last thing I want to do.  I've taken the other post down, at the strong suggestion of some, who've rightly pointed out that it was not well thought-out.

Mea culpa.

- 12

ALAN MAY, Realtor®
Specializing in Evanston Real Estate and North Shore Real Estate
Coldwell Banker Residential Real Estate, 2929 Central Street, Evanston, IL 60201
847.425.3779      Cell: 847.924.3313      Email: Almay@aol.com
Evanston Real Estate & North Shore Real Estate • Licensed in Illinois

    

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Post is included in group: Best Practices

26 Comments on Ruffling some feathers

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MAY
11
2012
813,489 Points 85 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Lenn, some people can't get enough publicity and have no sense of common sense!
9:25am • #7
174,242 Points 4 Featured Posts Outside Blog Called Shot Master

Lenn,

As a Newbie to AR I am here to learn and share.  I have not done everything perfect by any means.  When I made errors, I received emails about my mistakes.  I was not upset at all.  In fact, I thanked the people who were trying to make me a better Realtor and AR person.
11:43am • #8
623,912 Points 43 Featured Posts Outside Blog Called Shot Master

Lenn, I rarely get angry with you, but right now, I could just spit at you!!!!  What does TOTOH stand for?  I looked it up in the internetslang.com dictionary and couldn't find it - now I'm frustrated, LOL.  Please, oh please, explain that that means.  And, of course, I'm not really angry with you - you're the best!!!
12:19pm • #9
1,979,964 Points 484 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Michael.  I read the guidelines when I got comeuppance.

Jeanne and Ralph.  You mean it isn't??

Mary.  Indeed.  Of course, who reads the assembling instruction?

Carie.  Mmmm.  That incident was just the beginning of their poor public relations. 

Randy.  Agreed.  You just never know who's reading.

Jerry.  In the early days, it was more of a problem.  I got tired of sending e-mail so after a few months, I just deleted.

Ginny.  That is indeed the description of that person.

Pamela.  Me too.  We can all learn.

Juli.  HA!  Then On The Other Hand.
1:59pm • #10
1,388,178 Points 255 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Lenn, at least you asked, these days I am getting grumpy and just hit the delete button :)
2:14pm • #11
1,979,964 Points 484 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

George.  That incident with the agent who thought she "had the right" was back in about 2007.  Following that, I have simply dumped them.

 

 
3:30pm • #12
276,190 Points 17 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

"I can put whatever I want into a comment."?  You have to be kidding me!  Not a good sign of how they manage their professional relationships!

 
3:36pm • #13
1,979,964 Points 484 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Kathryn.  Actually, it describes them perfectly.
4:30pm • #14
483,739 Points 9 Featured Posts Outside Blog Called Shot Master

We have rules?  OMG I am going to have to go looking for those. I never took the newbie tutorial. Been meaning to do that. Anyhow I never have advertised myself on anyone's blog.
7:19pm • #15
649,864 Points 63 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Called Shot Master

Hi Lenn, 
Often new bloggers just don't get it.  Showing them the right way to do things makes for a smooth transition for all concerned. 
9:45pm • #16
MAY
12
2012
669,014 Points 70 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp

Hi Lenn.  Thin skinned people will never take constructive criticism well.
3:14am • #17
996,840 Points 362 Featured Posts Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

I am often amused by the use of the word "right" by people who probably cannot define it and certainly don't understand it.
4:05am • #18
1,979,964 Points 484 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Sussie.  Most of the guidelines are common sense. 

Ruthmarie.  Indeed and most appreciate a "hint" about advertising themselves on another member's blog.

Conrad.  HA!  That is a truism.

Jay.  And who want them only for themselves.
6:43am • #19
858,661 Points 184 Featured Posts Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

In talking to Newbies, I find that they are doing this here whereas they wouldn't on a private website. They seem to misunderstand the nature of AR, and assume they can use it to advertise everywhere. You're right, they have not read the guidelines, but hopefully the majority of them just misunderstood.
7:31am • #20
1,979,964 Points 484 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Karen.  I believe that most do simply misunderstand.  They are trained to keep a business card in their outstreached hand and to ask folks in the grocery store line if they are in the market to buyer or sell, etc. 

No wonder they want to put advertise themselves everywhere.

However, when they are gently advised and "claim the right" - HA!
8:52am • #21
972,132 Points 247 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Called Shot Master

ON THE BOTTOM OF EVERY PAGE IS THE GUIDELINE LINK

Better yet...let me advertise it right here with a link to it LOL

 

CLICK ON THE PICTURE
11:55am • #22
972,132 Points 247 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Called Shot Master

Bottom line Lenn...those that never (from the beginning to present) wanted to follow rules here...obviously cut corners 'out there'. I'd rather play with my friends who don't cut corners and who have no problem following rules wherever they go. 
11:56am • #23
1,979,964 Points 484 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Sally.  Indeed.  Everyone gets a link to their profile just by posting a comment.

Inadvertantly violating a rule is one thing.  Claiming a "right" to do so . . ..  not so good.
12:38pm • #24
MAY
13
2012
284,254 Points 11 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Lenn, I think maybe including the guidelines in ARU classes might be a plan too. I learned so much when I first started from taking Active Rain University, it was priceless. Not saying I didn't make other mistakes, but I think I got off to a pretty good start...
7:01am • #25
1,979,964 Points 484 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Peg.  This rule is in the ActiveRain guidelines.  I suspect that if a person hasn't read the guidelines, they're not going to be taking the classes.  I could be wrong.
11:34am • #26

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