On our December 28^th show, we had special guest, Diane Randall. Diane, a wellness coach and self-care expert who has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show, talked to us about the challenges modern women face in balancing home, family, and career and how women can meet their responsibilities and feel fulfilled in life.

To get all the information, I encourage you to listen to the rebroadcast . Here are some highlights.

Finding the time and other roadblocks to self-care

Robin: For a lot of people, there’s a barrier, “I don’t have time to work out, I don’t have time to go to counseling.”

Diane: What it really boils down to is priorities: Priorities, choices and decisions.

Robin: Committing to your self. What does it take for someone to be willing to commit to themselves?

Diane: A lot of times it’s a tragedy…unfortunately.

Robin: There is an impact on everyone around you when you are not caring for yourself.

Diane: I was very angry and frustrated all the time. I had all these things to do, and I had two kids that needed me. I was more tired than anything. For me to be a great parent, I needed to feel great, inside and outside. I had to focus on what was best for me spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically.

Robin: Kids learn from the example you set, more than what you say. How crucial self-care is, not just for your own well being, but for your children’s well being, because they are watching.

Robin: When we take care of ourselves, we have more energy and can be more available.

Venerina: When we take care of ourselves, we have a greater ability to take care of others.

Diane: You can have it all, but with caution. You need to have things in place to replenish you and nourish you. You can’t just go, go, go go.

Robin: Women are trained to be caretakers. Do you see blocks come up as far as permission to care for yourself?

Diane: Setting boundaries…Having boundaries. As women we feel we need to listen to everyone’s woes, because we are the nurturers. Self-care and self-reliance

Robin: I hear two things: self-care and self-reliance. They are both related, but they are not the same. Part of self-reliance is applying self-care. How could you have self-reliance if you haven’t had some level of mastery of self-care? I mean true self-reliance, where you feel fulfilled.

Diane: With self-care you have realized you have to do some of these things for yourself and give yourself what you need. How self-care relates to Authentic Femininity

Robin: Nurturing energy is a feminine energy. When we’re willing to apply that to ourselves, it is a way of opening to the authentic expression of the feminine. Not just applying that to our friends, family, relatives and co-workers.

Defining Self-care for you

Diane: Important to identify the authenticity of what self-care is. Not just what other people would want us to do to care for ourselves. If it is not truly what you want or envision for self-care, than it’s not self-care for you.

Robin: How do you support people in identifying what their personal view of self-care is? Diane: I ask the question, if everything was perfect, what would you do to take care of yourself? I wish I could work out, I wish I could do yoga. If they could pick anything they wanted to do for the day, what would that be?

Robin: Give self permission to ask the question, the answer is right there.

Diane: If you don’t, what is the cost? What is it costing you not to be doing self-care now?

Steve: Has to cost a certain amount before they are motivated to do something different?

Diane: Yes, has to be some trigger that causes it. My lack of self-care is impacting my success, It’s impacting my daily life.

Jim: Lack of self-care is slow suicide.

Creating a Support System for Self-care Diane:

One thing I’ve learned, we walk through life by ourselves. Change is going to happen. Hopefully it’s in a positive way. I have a support group of like-minded people I met on-line, through meet ups, I reach out and look for support groups that are based on my interests.

Robin: Set up support systems, don’t have to come from your existing pool of people.

Diane: Great if friends or mate want to do it with you, but they may not and that has to be okay.

Venerina: Born alone, will die the same way, everything that happens in between is a coincidence.

Diane: We’re on this journey really alone, they support me but they don’t have to come along.

The company you keep

Robin: I would say, you are going to evolve toward the company you keep. If you want to be a great tennis player, you should hang out with great tennis players. I see the value in seeking out people that have an interest/experience in an area that you wish to grow.

Steve: With people that are like-minded, they can use their creative energy together and that’s how we grow.

Diane: You can’t sell wellness and self care, have to attract the people who are willing to say, “I want wellness in my life”

Robin: When starting anything new, best way is to have experience of someone who has walked that path successfully. Mentoring.

Diane: Helping others with self-care keeps me on my path. Steve: It calls you to be.

Diane: Yes, it calls me to be. Tune in again this Friday at 10 AM MST for another dynamic hour of Authentic Femininity!   We will re-broadcast this show tomorrow, Friday, 9 AM Pacific, 10 AM Mountain, 12 PM Eastern

To Your Success,

Robin Hoffman, Dr. Venerina Conti and Coach Steve