people skillsPeople skills seem to lack in many professions. One reason is because they allow the client to take control, as this was talked about in my first blog, You are begging me to lie to you!!!! People Skills : Part 1 of 2 . 

Yes, Knowledge is extremely important and in my job, I use this to my advantage over my competition. As seen by the chart to my right, it strongly states that your people skills are far more important than what you know. Now, I will have to disagree a little on the percentage that they derived from. Not sure what survey was done to compel such a stat. As you can see, they used the word, some experts. Just as in forensic science, I am sure you can find fault and holes in any type of proof offered. It's just the facts of life, that there is always an uncertainty. But I am not here to disprove any theory or study, but most of all, to make more people aware that people skills are and should be, a large part of how you sell and not just products or product knowledge.

 

Types of people skills and how to use them and or what to look for: 

  • How to understand people --  A key component in people skills. Sure, people come in all shapes and sizes, but they also have different personalities. People are individuals that seek a connection, but often at times think that since they are the client, that they are always right. This is where you need to identify with their personality quickly and be able to make them feel comfortable, having a rapport with them. This can take time and not just asking a few quick questions as most of your competition would do. Again, stand out from the rest and make that client aware of this, as mentioned in Part 1.
  • How to assert yourself and expressing your thoughts & feelings clearly -- We don't want to overload the client with so many facts and numbers at first. This can be done the 2nd or 3rd time. It is very worthwhile taking time to plan your communication, no matter by what method it is delivered, to ensure that you are taking the least amount of time to express the right level of thought in the most receptively simple manner.
  • Listening to others -- You want to make them think that they are wanted, not just another client. Ask them their goals. At a later time, get to know a little about them. You don't to tell yourself that you need to do all of this in 5 minutes. And it can be difficult, depending if you are doing this on the phone or in person. So at this time, this is going to be a general statement.
  • Positive Criticism -- This might be one of the hardest areas for most of us to handle. Especially when I have a client that tells me that I am asking too many questions. Client: The other 3 lenders only ask 2 to 3 questions and we were done in 5 minutes. Me: Well, I am not them and I am looking out for your best interest. I can do this right or just give you what you want to hear and possibly not the best product.?? Sure...there is more to it than this, but you get the point.
  • Influence how others think and act -- This coincides with some of the things that I have talked about. Basically controlling your client and differentiating yourself from your competition.
  • Asking for feedback from others & giving quality feedback in return -- This is also key, because you want them to feel a part of the process and not just a client that is money to them. And this can go both ways, when a client gives you feedback, thanking them for it, which in turn makes them feel appreciated.


Here are a few other key pointers to think about:

  • Share your passion
  • deliver negative feedback artfully
  • be a problem solver
  • maintain your cool and composure, no matter how emotionally charged the conversation or the person that you are dealing with
  • improving self-esteem and confidence...yours and others'
  • building relationships that work and last

 

 book


Here is a book that is worth reading:

People Skills: How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others, and Resolve Conflicts (Paperback)
by Robert Bolton "Many people today yearn for warm, positive, meaningful relatedness to others, but seem unable to experience it..."

 

TEN WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR PEOPLE SKILLS

 

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43 Comments on Okay, so you know what you want? -- People Skills -- Part 2 of 2

20 Most Recent Comments Displayed Show All

JAN
09
2007

Jeff,

This doesn't need commentary!

It's excellent.

Bill

William J Archambault Jr

The Real Estate Investment Institute

http://www.reii.org
1:05pm • #24
738,077 Points 231 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Monika..... thanks for that great compliment. I do appreciate it...... and I'll check out your episode.  thanks

Jennifer G. ......  yes, I agree that you can have all the knowledge in the world, but without those people skills, it just won't work. And trust me, sure, there are some people that can make this work for a little time, because some people are such great sales people. I am just curious in regards to the chart that I shared, in how accurate that is. And I was hoping for a few opinions on the actual numbers.

Bryant....... thanks for the input. I agree to a certain degree though.  Sure, it's about making people feel good about themseleves and the decisions that they need to make or those that we need to help them make. But some people take advantage of this, getting the client to feel good and make the wrong decision. I know this is sales and such is life....  and I know it's our job to educate the client, but I guess we can't win them all.  ;o(   Hey, thanks for stopping by.

Ines.......  great insight.... this could be a big topic of discussion and goes back to general sales and how to sell. I think I have very good people skills also and I also think it is attributed to my personality, same as yours. The question is, someone that has a personality that sends out a false security and gets someone to do something that they shouldn't have.  Or...that people can use certain phrases and terms to supercede the personality trait and still sell that client land in the middle east.

So, question.... would your pool guy be oposite of you, when you gave us that example?  Meaning..... just a great sales person but a so so personality?  And if so, this coincides with what I was trying to get across. Overall, interesting..... thanks for sharing and I would love to hear which one he is.... sales with personality or sales without personality.

Carl Guild... aka Central properties....  thanks for stopping by and for the compliment.
2:36pm • #25
738,077 Points 231 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Allison..... thanks for the compliments and for your input. Yes, this is an art, but as I have said before....some people can certainly sell the fact that they have these people skills.....that they use this the first time when speaking to someone, then poof...  their skills go out the window. I have seen this happen often also.

Michael R. ...... thanks for the compliment and most of all, for your input and some advice. I'll try to add to this...  thanks

Eric R. ....... thanks for the compliment. In regards to having these people skills, that it's a telent that you don't learn, but have at birth. I would think there is some truth to it, but I would say that you can learn a lot of this as you grow older...come across different experiences & situations. This is my opinion.... but I would put more emphasis on the fact that you learn this and not born with it. You can be born and learn manners from your parents.....but not always people skills. 

Didn't you ever hear that someone might say... where did he pick that up? His parents aren't like that.  Or vise versa.   thanks again for your input.

Jim & Maria...... thanks for the compliment. And yes, I would agree that it would have to be more than 15%, that would be your knowledge. But yes..,.. people skills are extremely important.

Kaushik........  Eric Reeber asked this question and I replied one person above. It's my opinion.....  thanks

John K. ........  yes, very true. But I like to be both.....caring & knowing.  ;o)  Thanks for the compliment.
6:09pm • #26
738,077 Points 231 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Ravi..... thanks for your insight and your input. I would love to take a few of those tests and courses. It can never hurt.   thanks again

Jennifer F. ....... thanks for the compliment.  I agree and I see the same also. It is sad. But hey, those of us that have these people skills have a leg up. So, I am not going to complain.

Loreena...... I agree.... passion is key.  I like to think I have it all...  ;o)    The passion, knowledge, and the people skills. I like when a client says that they picked me because I didn't sound like a sales person.

Nick M. ...... thanks for those great compliments. I agree with much of what you reiterrated. In regards to learning this or some of it?  As Eric R. and Kaushik both asked and stated, I gave my opinion in a few comments above. Overall, I do think it can be learned and not always passed down from parents per se.

thanks again for your input and the question.

Jeff D. ....... thanks for the compliments.  And yes, it is a critical part of what we do. thanks

William.... aka. Bill.......  thanks Bill..... as I have said before, always great to have you stopping by and thanks for that great compliment.
7:12pm • #27
221,087 Points 56 Featured Posts Outside Blog
To answer the question Jeff - Frank ("the pool guy" - he builds pools by the way) is a great sales person and has a great personality.  He does this so effortless and comes so natural without any type of pressure.  I guess he is one in a million, no?
8:37pm • #28
738,077 Points 231 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Ines... yes, on in a million. I like to think that I am about 75% of what he is, because I do sweat the small stuff sometimes. But that small stuff is when a client tells me that they got this deal, etc etc... and I just know that it can't happen. Some call me back and some don't. But this is the part that I lack in the most, which deals with some effort. But for the most part, when a client tells me that it went smooth on their part.... happy with the results...etc etc.

I just got an e-mail from someone that I gave her a pre-qual within 1 1/2 hours of calling me up and telling me that she needed it by a certain hour. The main reason because it was a house going on the market that was underpriced by $450,000. It was an estate sale of some sort and they just wanted to get rid of the property. And she knew that there would have been a lot investors at this house also. And she really wanted it for her family.

The long and short of it was that she was extremely grateful for my quick reaction. Overall......  I think that it's not what you doing, but how passionate in what you do, that you love it... and a combination of that and your personality, that can make it so effortless.

Thanks for your input again and for adding to what he actually did.
8:49pm • #29
297,841 Points 110 Featured Posts Outside Blog
I like the link to the ten steps.  I particularly like hint #10 and will try to practice that particular step here.
9:32pm • #30
738,077 Points 231 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master
Brian.... thanks and thanks for stopping by.
10:36pm • #31
JAN
10
2007
135,611 Points 5 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Jeff I totally agree with you on this one. Sell yourself to the client by showing them you are real and that you care. I love the one where the client thinks you are asking too many questions. They don't realize that we are trying to help them get the best deal possible by knowing all the right facts. I still say, the tension of the loan industry is the fact that the people do not understand the process.

Phyllis Pafumi
7:54am • #32
738,077 Points 231 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Phyllis.... thanks for stopping by and for your input. I even had a client basically hang up on me once because I was asking too many questions.... lol  Hey....it is what it is...   But I need more than name, rank, and serial number.... lol
8:11am • #33
315,754 Points 39 Featured Posts Outside Blog
Jeff...mind if I copy this and part one as a handout  for my class???
9:40am • #34
738,077 Points 231 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master
Monika..... not at ALL....  I appreciate that and honored. Thanks for asking, but you never have to ask. If using for a class, for clients, ....I wouldn't consider it plagarism, but basically advertising my name and such.   let me know how it goes.  thanks again...   ;o)
9:57am • #35
323,134 Points 4 Featured Posts Outside Blog
Jeff - Good to see you at the top of the dashboard!  You are on my favorite blogs to read list - many of your posts hit home!
10:09am • #36
738,077 Points 231 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master
Suzanne.... thanks a lot... I appreciate that. I don't need to be number one, but I do like to be up there in the top 5.....  overall, thanks for the compliments though.
10:30am • #37
195,561 Points Outside Blog
Jeff in our business its all about listening about what the customer needs. If we have them tell us in detail what they want they will appreciate the courtesy. When customers "appreciate" you they tend to send more referrals your way.
1:33pm • #38
738,077 Points 231 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master
Eddy....  are you a speed reader?  did you skip Part 1?   ;o)   Seriously though, thanks for stopping by and for your input. I agree and it's right on...
2:42pm • #39
JAN
11
2007
This is a great breakdown of explaining people skills, what to look for, and how to tackle certain issues. Again, great blog.
12:15am • #40
738,077 Points 231 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Jim.....as I said before....thanks for stopping by and for the compliment. Explaining the people skills is important... thanks.
12:24am • #41
JAN
20
2007
455,351 Points 11 Featured Posts Outside Blog

AWESOME blog, Jeff...I can see why it was a featured post.......

GOOD stuff, man!! people skills are SO important...right up there with expert knowledge of the market and your real estate niche.....

=-D
2:13pm • #42
738,077 Points 231 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master
Alex.... thanks so much for that awesome compliment and for your input......
2:41pm • #43

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Cherry Hill, NJ

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I just want to educate people about mortgages and the process. In regards to lending, I am very creative, intuitive, honest, and one who communicates information, may it be good or bad. I am a loan officer that looks out for your best interest.







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