Ar_home_b_search
 

Jay's dad andstep-motherWe were half way through the month of May in 1990 and my father was lying in the hospital dying from Emphysema. He asked me to come over to his bedside as he needed to tell me something very important. I leaned over and sat at the edge of his bed while he said in a soft voice that I should know what my birth name is. I really don't remember ever asking what it might be before but deep in the back of my mind it sounded a little familiar. Holger Rainer Bezold is what he said, I remember the tears welling up inside me as I tried to fight them back. I was 35 at the time and real men don't cry, not this guy anyways.

He also wanted to let me know that my mother had my adoption papers. My dad passed away on May 17, 1990 and I think of him everyday and one of the things he taught me was how to sell real estate and how to always follow the "Golden Rule".

As the years passed by I never felt the burning desire to try and find my birth mother. I think it was in the back of mind but I just never really gave it much thought. At that time we were in a downturn in the Real Estate market and I had enough to think about just trying to survive.

Sometime around the mid to late nineties I did a search on the internet using my birth name. When I keyed my name in I was directed to a web page that I really didn't want to visit. While it cracked me up, it turned me off for quite a while on searching my birth name.

Then in 2002 we had clients offer us 2 weeks in Aruba for all the work we did selling their house. 911 was less than a year old and I needed to try and get a passport so we could travel without a hassle. I knew I had a Baptismal certificate but no birth certificate and somehow I had misplaced the Baptismal certificate. It dawned on me that my dad said my mom had my adoption papers and just maybe my original Baptismal certificate. I called her and she reluctantly gave them to me. I did find my certificate and a lot of other great information. Most of it written in German.

Reading through the documents I found the name Klara Bezold and I wondered what life might have been like if I had never been adopted. When we got home I put the papers in a safe place and we tried to do a Google search for Klara's name but no luck.  We then asked Monika's cousin who frequently travels to Germany for help. She also had no luck.

Fast forward to December 21, 2007 and Monika's post about the dream she had and the letter she felt compelled to write. We pulled the adoption paperwork out so Monika could verify Klara's exact spelling

With all the comments pouring in on Monika'a post  and some of you experiencing what I was going through, it made me re-think about aggressively seeking to see if we could find my birth mother. I always felt she would have been younger than my mother, Pauline. Pauline is 76 years old. I figured Klara was probably around 70-71.

We decided to do a google search again and I keyed in Klara Franziska Bezold and Monika keyed in Klara Bezold. While sifting through page after page I gave up. However, Monika kept at it and went deep into Google and found a telephone directory, Klara's name popped up a few lines down on the directory. Everything was written in German and we could not read or speak German.

Then, Monika said she recognized the word Ziel am Main and we grabbed the adoption papers and flipped through to see what Monika had seen. Sure enough there it was Ziel am Main.  Monika thought it may be where Klara worked and Monika would mention it to her father. Monika and her family are Germans and her parents still speak fluent German and they still have their accent in tact. 

On Christmas day we brought the paperwork and our laptop to Monika's sister Heidi's house who was hosting the family Christmas dinner. 

Monika and her dadMonika's dad looked at the paperwork and the listing on the internet and told us it was an address and a phone number and that it could indeed be her.

Could it possibly be? Monika really didn't think so, but, I felt the odds were with us.

We agreed that Monika's dad would call Germany and discreetly try and find out if the Klara Bezold listed was the same Klara Belzold born in 1926.

We thought if it wasn't her, then at best, maybe this Klara would end up being a distant relative of the Klara we were seeking. Maybe she could lead us down the right path.

The telephone number in the directory ended up not working, so for days we got nowhere. Enter Monika's cousin who looked at the number and told us to drop the zero as it is only there for in country calls. Monika's dad said he would try again on Saturday morning.

On Saturday December 29 my father in-law tried again and this time the number worked and a woman answered the phone.

Monika's dad asked in German if she was Klara Franziska Bezold, she told him that she was, he asked if she was born in 1926 and she said yes.  Then he told her he was calling on behalf of man once named Holger Rainer Bezold....and immediately she cried out "That's my son..That's my son"!!!!

 

 

 

 

66 Comments on Celebrating my 100,000 points and how I found my birth mother

JAN
05
2008
406,563 Points 63 Featured Posts Outside Blog
I just love that story.  I can't wait to hear all about your trip to Germany.  I hope you kept the passport in a safe place!
5:46am • #1

You brought tears to my eyes. Good luck on your new journey.

MichiganRealtor
5:57am • #2
Your story gave me chills and brought tears to my eyes. Thats wonderful for you. Have you plans to meet your mother in person?
6:25am • #3
131,090 Points 9 Featured Posts Outside Blog
Jay, It is just amazing how this is all playing out. The fact that Monika's folks are from Germany, her cousin understood what you were doing wrong with the phone number. Talk about something that was meant to be! This is all so wonderful! Chills and happy tears here too! Happy New Year! 
6:37am • #4
I am so happy for you and for your birth mother!  Can't quite seem to type....as my eyes are leaking!  Please keep us posted on a future reunion if one is planned. 
6:40am • #5
Jay, I'm in awe everytime I read this story. What a Christmas miracle you received. Simply amazing. I'm so happy for you!
6:41am • #6
136,585 Points 14 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Hi Chris, yes the passport is in a safe place and our goal is to try and get their this year. Just have to sell a few more homes and close on them. LOL

Michigan REALTOR, Thank you

Concetta, hopefully this year. 

6:45am • #7
782,169 Points 71 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master
Jay - That is so awesome. I am so happy you were able to experience a holiday miracle. It is so rare after the time that has passed you were able to find her...just unbelievable.
6:49am • #8
1,157,703 Points 117 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Hit Router Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master
Congratulations.  It seems there have been a lot of success stories recently on AR with adoptees.  I've never been able to dig up enough information on my birth parents to make a search.  Part of me had a feeling that my parents knew more than they ever shared but even with the adoption papers there aren't many clues.
6:50am • #9
228,875 Points 2 Featured Posts Outside Blog

This is just a great story Jay!Everything happens for a reason!

Congrats on your 100,000 points!

6:52am • #10
42 Featured Posts

Jay

I'm completely overwhelmed by your extraordinary discovery and personal journey.  In particular, I remain in awe of your personal conviction and courage.  

6:57am • #11
566,722 Points 35 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Hit Router Attended Rain Camp
Jay, what a wonderful story and thank you for sharing it with us. I am so happy for you. This will be a Happy New Year for you.!
7:11am • #12
136,585 Points 14 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Lysa, Deb, Linda, Bill, Cindy, Rick and Ed,

I have always been a firm believer that what is meant to be is meant to be. I am truly thankful for all the support here on Active Rain. I know we all share real estate in common but there is more to life than just real estate and something like this which I know has touched a lot of you,  I am thankful for having the honor and privilege of being able to express my feelings here and being able to read yours as well.

I think if the rest of the world could act like most of us here, then this world would be a much better and safer place to live in.

 

7:25am • #13
136,585 Points 14 Featured Posts Outside Blog
Jeanean, thank you so much for your kind words.
7:26am • #14
323,528 Points 45 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp

Hi Jay - congrats on many things!  100,000 points, but most importantly on your finding your birth mother - what an amazing thing to have happen to you after much time has passed.  All the pieces fell into place this time around - the google searches, Monika's dad, her cousin helping with the phone number - and look what has taken place since!  Phone conversations with Klara, a brother and a sister now as part of your new family, and a trip to Germany coming up hopefully this year.  It's been awesome to watch all this unfold for you and Monika.

Congratulations on all of it, my friend!
Ann

7:26am • #15
304,549 Points 39 Featured Posts Outside Blog
Honey what a cool post to be able to write as your 100,000 milestone post. I'm so happy for you and I know someday we'll visit Germany and it will be great!
7:28am • #16
571,409 Points 39 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Hit Router Called Shot Master
Words can not describe how happy I am for you!  To know that another family has come together after all of these year!!!!!  I have been reunited for 6 years.....it is wondeful.  I can finally look into eyes that reflect me and know that I come from somewhere.  Good luck to you and please let us know about the trip!!!!
7:43am • #17
512,992 Points 8 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Hit Router

Jay,

This is an incredible story.  Thank you for sharing it with the AR community.  I wish you a safe trip and a joyous reunion.......

7:52am • #18
848,842 Points 153 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Hit Router Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master
Jay, timing is everything, now was the right time. Of course this is THE post of the year. Amazing isn't it? I'm sure other people reading here and out in the blogosphere will follow down your path. You said in a previous post, Klara was a little disappointed you were not raised in Germany. But, now in this one who mentioned Monika's parents are of German decent. That is also amazing. Were you parents living over seas when they adopted you? How did they get you out of Germany? Maybe I'm confused.
8:41am • #19
214,803 Points 9 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp
Jay,  Congrats on the milestone and the discovery of your family history.  True the real estate market has been slow but I wouldn't prolong the trip to Germany based on short term considerations.  Time goes fast ...
8:57am • #20

Talk about due diligence paying off!  Congratulations Jay!

9:00am • #21
5 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor

Congratulations on your 100,000 points.  Everytime I read another snipet of your story I think about what's ahead of you.  Even though there is a language barrier, it WILL be like you were never apart.  You may discover in my son's words " you are the only person who has ever understood me."

I'm beaming for you two!!

10:05am • #22
607,293 Points 36 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Hi Jay,

Yes! Congratulations on your milestone!  But there has never been a more beautiful story here in the Rain as this story.  My eyes are welling up with tears.  I feel your happiness along with your sadness for the loss of years.  It's just fate and things really always do work out for the best.  Perhaps you weren't ready to find your birth family until now because your adopted family needed to grow.  The people who adopted you needed you too and weren't ready for what is now happening for you.  Oh happy day for you Jay!  The collective hearts of everyone who knows you here in the Rain are overflowing with joy!

10:58am • #23
136,585 Points 14 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Ann, thank you and yes it has been unbelievable. You only se stuff like this on tv. LOL

Monika, we need to SELL SELL SELL

Leesa, congratulations to you too, I am sure you know how I feel.

Julie, thak you for stopping by and reading my story.

Missy, My dad was stationed in Bamberg, Germany and he and my mom couldn't have children so they chose me. Probably 'cause I was so cute. LOL

Dan, I hear you and as fate would have it we are very busy this time of year compared to the past.

Renee, thank you very much.

Fran, I can hardly wait until next week when our package arrives in Germany of all the goodies we sent them.

 

11:13am • #24
136,585 Points 14 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Lisa, you snuck in there, yes you just may be right all things do happen for a reason. I am still on cloud nine.

Cloudy days are sunny, Frigid mornings are spring days and the snow doesn't even bother me now. LOL

Funny how it works that way.  LOL

11:18am • #25
837,468 Points 163 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master
Jay - Thanks for sharing this story with us. My father also died of emphysema when I was 35 (about two years ago).  This is such a special post!
12:03pm • #26
344,504 Points 75 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog
Jay, your journey toward finding your birth mother is inspiring and full of hope.  I am glad you found her, and it sounds like she is glad too.
12:10pm • #27
136,585 Points 14 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Jason, sorry to hear about your dad. Seems are lives are a little parallel.

Maureen, it seems to have worked out so far, and I am sure time will tell how well it does. Thank you...

1:15pm • #28
925,487 Points 97 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master
Jay, I have read a number of 100,000 point posts, but this one tops them all.  You have had one unbelievable month my friend, and I am sure that you will be filling us in as things progress for you and your family.  It looks like 2008 is going to be a challenging and incredible year for you.
3:21pm • #29
232,414 Points 74 Featured Posts Outside Blog Called Shot Master
 Hi Jay, I've been reading your past few posts and wanted to stop by and say what a wonderful real life story and conclusion, I'm sincerely happy for you and I'm also sending you my belated wishes for an amazing 2008!
3:21pm • #30
433,219 Points 110 Featured Posts Outside Blog Called Shot Master
Hi Jay-Congrats on your 100,000 points...a bigger celebration for finding your birth mother.What an amazing story..  Imagine how fantastic your 2008 is going to be...
4:03pm • #31
200,641 Points 27 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master
McGillicuddys!  I have a "feeling" that this will be one of your BEST sells years ever so that you can take a HUGE needed trip to New Hampshire!  Is there an a program that will translate english to german and vica versa so that you can electronically communicate with family??  I would think so.
5:50pm • #32
3 Featured Posts
Jay, Congratulations on your 100,000 points. It is a lot of work to get there but the sharing is wonderful I'm sure. I am so happy to see you put into words some of what has gone on in this past couple weeks. It sounds like you have had a great weight lifted off your shoulders that you never realized was there. I love the picture of your parents. Such a handsom couple.
11:04pm • #33
Wow!!! Just love this story, I think is great. I wish you the best of luck and happiness. Keep us posted.
11:48pm • #34
JAN
06
2008
1 Featured Post Localism Sponsor

"That's my son..That's my son" threw me into tears.  Again, such an amazing story.  I am so happy for you.

Herzlichen Glückwunsch!

7:25am • #35
178,223 Points 5 Featured Posts Outside Blog
Jay... what an amazing story. Like Ginger those words from your birth mother are so moving. (it must be the parent in me) I know the diligence you all put toward this feels so rewarding. I look forward to hearing about your meeting.
7:45am • #36
108,627 Points 1 Featured Post

A box of tissues has taken up permanent residence next to my PC.  The story get s better and better.  Is that pic on the top of your adoptive parents?

PS - Congrats on your 100000 points milestone

7:51am • #37
548,980 Points 110 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Jay...

Well Congratulations on the points. You obviously have a life :)

As far as everything that has happened with your Birth Mom. I am just blown away by all of that.

It really is an amazing true life story.

TLW...ROAR!

8:59am • #38
680,692 Points 18 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master
What a wonderful Christmas and start to 2008!  It must be a great feeling to know that you have had the opportunity to talk to your birth mother and to find the rest of your family.  Any plans to go to Germany for a family reunion.  Congratulations on the 100K points.
8:00pm • #39

Jay, I feel like I am reading a Novel, chapter by chapter and it is your life story!  It is  nice to share in something so personal and touching.  I am so glad you Monika listened to her "dream"! 

I hope for you both a prosperous 2008 so you can have the "trip of a lifetime"and look forward to your updates.

9:24pm • #40
JAN
07
2008
153,771 Points 1 Featured Post Outside Blog
That is a great story Jay!  I have been through several areas near her home in Germany and Tonya used to live not far away in Nurenberg when she was young.  That is a beautiful place and I hope you are able to get there soon.   
9:40am • #41
8 Featured Posts
Oh boy, I should have saved reading this post.  I am headed to an appointment and her reaction has me in tears.  Jay and Monika, you will never know just how thrilled I am for you.  Again, please let us be a part of this wonderful journey.
9:43am • #42
Jay, there's not a day goes by without me thinking about this story more than a few times. I still am amazed that you found your birth mother and she was receptive. Amazing. I'm so happy for you and Monika. Aren't you glad you married a gal who trusts her intuition? 
7:05pm • #43
160,513 Points 8 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Jay,

This is so amazing, I am so happy for you! What a great way to ring in the new year! :)

7:19pm • #44
136,585 Points 14 Featured Posts Outside Blog

***UPDATE***

Some sad news from Germany this morning. Monika also has an Aunt named Klara that lived in Germany. She passed away New Years Eve. Because we were over at Monika's folks on New Years day for a late lunch her mother never told us she passed way, She didn't want to take away from our happiness of finding my birth mother Klara.

I feel really sad and it is really weird and such a coincidence that we find a Klara and lose a Klara within a couple of days.

Life throws us curves that's for sure.

9:07pm • #45
217,536 Points 12 Featured Posts Outside Blog
What an amazing story Jay and what a way to start a New Year. I am so happy for all of you...you're starting a whole new adventure!
9:16pm • #46
881,493 Points 210 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Called Shot Master
Okay...tearing up again. Thanks for the update Jay. Please keep us updated as time goes on....especially when you get to finally meet her!
10:12pm • #47
JAN
08
2008
304,549 Points 39 Featured Posts Outside Blog
I hope we get to plan a trip soon. But it might not be till next year.
2:32pm • #48
304,549 Points 39 Featured Posts Outside Blog
I hope we get to plan a trip soon. But it might not be till next year.
2:32pm • #49
JAN
09
2008
153,771 Points 1 Featured Post Outside Blog
Sorry to hear about that Jay.  Our condolences to Monika and your family. 
12:37pm • #50
136,585 Points 14 Featured Posts Outside Blog
Thanks Dave much appreciated.
7:30pm • #51
JAN
10
2008
287,662 Points 33 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Jay- I do not know why I missed this.....but I am so Happy for both you and Monika......unbelieveable that because of Monikas dream you have gotten to this point.......with the warmest of hearts for your story, and the outcome,

Kathy

11:50am • #53
JAN
13
2008
136,585 Points 14 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Thank You very much Kathy

*** UPDATE ***

We had another great day today as I was able to speak to my cousin Alex Kuehr who can speak English. I was able to get in touch with him and speak to him for a while and then his battery on his phone was dying and we had to end the call when it finally died. 

Then we spoke to Klara again yesterday afternoon along with my brother Alex's daughter Daniela, who is 39. She emailed us a photo of her at 37 yrs old. Very beautiful. Then we have a photo of her dad Alex at age 30. He is 58 now, and a picture of Klara when she was 50 now almost 82.

We spoke with Alex for about an hour and that was great as we are getting to understand him more. I even understand a lot more words than I did a week ago. Monika has bought me CD's and a book on how to speak German in 10 minutes a day. LOL

To finish the day off, we just got off the phone with my sister Anita. She speaks in a little different German dialect than Monika and she speaks a little faster than Klara and Alexander do so it was a little tricky trying to translate. 

She is very happy and glad to hear from us.

We are looking forward to trying to get to Germany this summer.

 

6:13pm • #54
JAN
17
2008
734,128 Points 136 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Hit Router Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master
I had missed this post, Jay, but went looking today for updates.  This is all such a great story.  Another happy adoption reunion story!  Every one that I know personally - or in your case, know of - has been positive and I look forward to keeping this record on track.  Good luck on the German!
11:02pm • #55
JAN
26
2008
136,585 Points 14 Featured Posts Outside Blog

I received a letter from my brother and pictures of my German family today. This has been a great day. Even pictures of my grandparents and Aunts and Uncles. I may put them up on my website this weekend. Most of them are of my brother and two of Klara and one of Anita when she was 14.

6:50pm • #56
FEB
24
2008
137,534 Points Outside Blog
Jay I can't wait to see the pictures. This story just gets better and better. I've not doubt that you'll find your father.
5:01pm • #57
136,585 Points 14 Featured Posts Outside Blog
Maria, I have not scanned the photos in yet, but I will do this week.
5:08pm • #58
MAR
02
2008
323,528 Points 45 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp

Jay - I've re-read your posts and Monika's initial post, and have tears filling my eyes as I think about the journey you've been on and what the results have been........ amazing.

Ann

5:16am • #59
136,585 Points 14 Featured Posts Outside Blog

It's pretty amazing and the toughest part is trying to learn German. I study at least an hour a day and more on some other days when traveling in my car. I used to listen to sports talk and different rock stations and now just German CD's.

Thank you... 

5:58am • #60
MAR
03
2008
I rarely wear mascara and of all days to read this!!!  What a wonderful story! Enjoy your new and expanded family!!!  How great!!!
Catherine from New York
9:06pm • #61
MAR
04
2008
136,585 Points 14 Featured Posts Outside Blog
Thank you Catherine it has been fun speaking to them and now I am able to email them.
5:43am • #62
MAY
02
2009
288,572 Points 38 Featured Posts Outside Blog

I'm reading this 1+ year later ... I hope things are still great - what a fantastic story. For all the ill things the internet can dish out, this is utterly fantastic. I'm very happy for you.

1:57pm • #63
MAY
03
2009
136,585 Points 14 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Thanks Steve, yes we keep in touch via the telephone and I have a cousin I sometimes Skype. It is pretty amazing and I hope to get there soon.

Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

7:00am • #64
MAY
16
2009
106,242 Points

Wow.  I am verklempt.  I came late to read this but I found it very moving.  I read some of the blogs e.g. Monika's letter and what a great story.  I was deeply struck by your father's thought of you on his deathbed and glad that you were with him.  I am up the road a bit from you in York, Maine and wishing you all the best.

8:05pm • #65
MAY
17
2009
136,585 Points 14 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Thanks Margaret for stopping by and taking the time to read all the stories. We were just up in York the tail end of April at the Union Bluff hotel enjoying a weekend getaway.

We keep in touch with our new found family in Germany at least once every two weeks and will try add get there later this year.

6:03am • #66

What does the graphic say?

Leave a response…



(optional)
What does the graphic say?
 

Jay McGillicuddy~Real Estate Broker

Hampstead, NH

More about me…

Prudential Verani Realty

Address: P.O. Box 327, East Hampstead, NH, 03826

Office Phone: (603) 329-6625 x 1446

Cell Phone: (603) 548-7685

Email Me

This blog is to be entertaining and informative. Both humorous and professional.



    Links

    Archives

    RSS 2.0 Feed for this blog