While you're reading this post, feel free to enjoy the inserted video....
It's a normal progression in online social networks, as membership gets larger and larger, for the community to suffer from a league of growth-related issues. The more people who join, the more challenging it is to keep things intimate and personal. With increased numbers always comes a greater potential for the 'dregs' of cyberspace to find their way in and spoil all the fun.
* * * * * * * * SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES * * * * * * * *
An alarming common thread I've been hearing of late is that our beloved network community has become less and less loving. Seems as though a few bullies, flamers, and stalkers have found their way in among us, and are wreaking their havoc upon our cherished family.
Historically, one of the main attractions and benefits of this network has been the wonderful environment of encouragement and fostering meaningful relationships. It's been a safe haven of sorts, an oasis/retreat to find solace from the stresses/pressures of day-to-day life.
Do not send unsolicited emails, or faxes, or make unsolicited phone calls to another member.
We encourage free speech and defend everyone's right to express unpopular points of view. But we don't permit hate speech which contains slurs or the malicious use of stereotypes intended to attack or demean a particular gender, sexual orientation, race, religion, or nationality.
There is zero tolerance for predatory behavior, stalking, threats, harassment, invading privacy, or the revealing of other members' personal information. Anyone caught doing these things may be permanently banned from ActiveRain.
In my humble opinion, I think we've been a bit too lax on the 'Zero' tolerance policy. Not intentionally, mind you. The AR gods love this community they've built and place the greatest value on its members. But the community needs to know that these kind of issues, and the 'dregs' that cause them, will be dealt with swiftly and seriously.
So if you're one of these few Bad Apples, consider this post as putting you on notice. Shape up, or you WILL be shipped out!
Okay, so for the rest of you Happy Campers, here's your homework for the coming week (yes, Virginia, there is homework!):
I want you to take a few minutes out of your day, and call another fellow Rainer. It has to be someone you've never talked to before. Spend a few minutes getting to know each other and sharing words of encouragement. This should be a regular part of your ActiveRain Network activities, just like making your daily comments, and consistent blog posting. Make it a point to call one AR member every week!
This is OUR community. WE are the ones who will make it become all that it can be!
~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~
Rich Jacobson is a licensed real estate professional providing knowledgeable empowerment and relentless representation for his clients of residential properties and vacant land throughout all of Kitsap County WA and portions of Pierce, Mason, and Jefferson Counties. You can also find him at KitsapLife.com, SOUNDBITEBLOG and Crabbing in the Hood, or e-mail: kitsapagent@gmail.com
100 Comments
on "Bring Back, that Loving Feeling!" Building a Better Community - Blog Tips for Rain Drips
JAN
06
2008
Well dang! I thought the bad apples link was going to take me to some mug shot photos...Just kidding! Very good points Rich, I'm glad to say I haven't experienced anything I would classify as malicious, but it's nice to know the AR Sheriffs are in town :-)
Rich, very nice post. Fortunately, I've not been privy to any of these bad apples. As Colleen stated, glad to know you are watching - just in case. Let's see......hmmmmmmmmm......who should I call?
Good news about bad apples being put on notice that they are under the microscope now and should they ignore network rules, sayonara. Besides personal attacks, plagiarism evidently is also causing some anxiety in the community.
I've seen personal information that wasn't appropriate for this venue posted on a member's post and I kindly told them I thought it was inappropriate and that the post should be removed. They did remove it quickly. Sometimes, that's all it might take is another member pointing it out. This person was a newbie and probably had no idea what they did was inappropriate. Then there's the other side of the coin, the people who know something's inappropriate and don't care. For those types, we have you. Cool!
Guess it was time for another reminder, it's bound to happen, and thanks for the song accompanying your post. Since I'm a geezer and from the OC, the Righteous Bros. were always a favorite.
Thanks for this post, Rich. It;'s unfortunate that the reminder is needed. I agree - I think things have been a bit lax with regard to inappropriate behavior. Hopefully AR WILL take action that they say they will when the situation warrants.
Hi Rich - I just wanted to ask you to clarify a guideline. In the third point above it says:
"Do not send unsolicited emails, or faxes, or make unsolicited phone calls to another member"
As a newbie, I thought it meant don't contact anyone outside this online venue. Since then I've taken it to mean sales calls, telemarketing etc. I've had some great outside contact with AR friends. As a newbie, it was quite confusing. Could you possible insert a clarifying word or two about what unsolicited means for new newbies? Or do you think it was just me being obtuse?;)
Hi Rich - with this post, hopefully those kinds of people really will be banished. There really should be no tolerance whatsoever for that kind of behavior. Unfortunately, as with most things, those who really should see this just never will and they'll go on doing what they've been doing that prompted this in the first place. And then look out - zip, bam, powee - gone in flash! Is that how it goes? ;-)
Rich - Do I feel a fresh wind blowing?? I can't stand boorish behavior and to attack someone in such a public way that has happened here is wrong. I'm glad AR hired you...absolutely awesome! :-)
I've only been here a few months and have seen an increase in "bad apples" in my short time at AR. It made me a little uncomfortable as I feel this is, and should be a safe place to share ideas and views with people who have a common interest. That is what keeps me here despite the few "bad apples". Great post.
Amen, Rich. The flaming has been the number one reason I haven't been as active here as I would like to be; it just isn't a friendly place to be anymore.
Hi Rich, a welcome reminder of how things used to be. I guess this is just an inevitable part of growing so fast, so quickly. Also, congrats on your new position with AR!
I would like to invite you to aphilosophical commenton Rich's Posting. One of human nature and the nature of large growing groups and the challenges that are faced as a function of that growth. A discussion ofchaos and complexity, cohesion and controversy,as well as community and self-segregation.
I am of the opinion that these are normal cycles that occur, as each new entrant to ActiveRain finds their spot and learns to work within the group, while maintaining their own identity, and individuality.
The reason, I take this issue to a higher level, is I do not believe it is so much about the quote Bad Apples, or singling out the individual using a social control mechanism of mob mentality against these individuals, rather the group should understand the dynamics, as to remain in compliance with their own loving, caring and sharing belief systems and thus, live without hypocrisy.
I believe that understanding the true realities of human group functions is the first start in maintaining that; "Loving Feeling" and I totally agree that it must be maintained at all costs. - Lance
I couldn't agree more, none of that stuff belongs on active rain, it should be a place to network and for us to create positive relationships and help each other become more successful. Keep an eye on mndls.com a friend of mine came up with the idea, and it should be a tremendous tool for realtors and investors, we are going through the paces of licensing and patenting, etc. but we should be done soon! To much success in 2008!!!
Great Post, Rich! Active Rain is lucky to have you among it's ranks. ActiveRain is still young and has plenty of room to grow bigger and better. Thanks for the reminder.
Rich -- you have raised a very interesting subject. It is important to have a zero tolerance approach! I try to see the best in everyone and to date, I have not been the victim of much negativity -- however, no one is immune. Thanks for setting the bar higher! I think this is a great community and we should insure it remains community of respected and respectful professionals.
Rich- Boy I sure hope that AR will Actually follow through on what they say they willl do. Jeff D's comment is perfect......it doesn't help anyone that tries to do what's right when they see others get a minor slap on the wrist......we either follow the rules, or we don't.......
Rich, Wonderful post and I'm certainly up for calling a few people I've been wanting to speak with anyway! You've chosen a wonderful "homework" assignment. As for some others, they are bound to get in anywhere, I believe when they are banned for not following the rules they will be sorry to lose such a wonderful site.
Rich, I'm afraid that some of the bad apples have already ruined the barrel for some of the best writers who USED to be here. I have some fantastic writers in my subscribed list who haven't posted for the longest time and I think it's due to the change in atmosphere here. I hope AR is doing all it can to bring some of those stars back into the fold.
Preach on Brother Rich. I know that some feel that there is a protected "Class" on here. I hope that those feeling are not correct and that the rules are enforced across the board. I have not experienced any of this, and the disagreements that I have had have been settled without AR involvement, but apparently this is not the case with others.
I've never really witnessed those nasty things happening here in the Rain - thankfully! Sometimes I think I live in my own head. :) But truthuflly, I love the idea of calling Rainers more often. I've been amiss and I'm glad you reminded us of that. Also I've been wanting to write a post of how the growth of the network has left it feeling much less cozy until I started reading those things like what I wrote about today. But these are points that are very good to remember for the good of the network as a whole. Thanks!
In order for the AR gods to ACT, they must know about what they should act on! It is up to us, the members who see the issues to point them out to AR so that they do in fact know about them!
I called Desiree Daniels...who is here visiting :) and we met her and significant other for lunch woohoo!
Rich...I'm glad you brought this to light and mentioned the Zero tolerance policy for bullies, meanies and such. Regardless what the past issues were...that kind of stuff was not acceptable. Needless to say....it is all OUR forum to utilize in the best manner possible as professionals and to interact with our peers...not call people out.
Or make this a contest for who's the better looking person...why go through all that when we know BB is? :) :)
Good idea but I hope an email on a personal note works for my reaching out. And I personally love AR and the members. Haven't found one yet that I didn't like.
I think if you don't have anything nice to say, you shouldn't say anything. I was raised that way. I think how you conduct yourself, sets people apart.
HEY HOW ARE YA? JUST WANTED TO PASS BY AND INTRODUCE MYSELF TO YOU AND SOME OTHER ACTIVERAIN MEMBERS. MY NAME IS JUAN VALDEZ AND I AM THE SENIOR MANAGER FOR OUR OFFICE HERE IN NEW JERSEY WE ARE A DIRECT LENDER AND OUR EXPERTISE IS GOVERNMENT FHA LOANS. IF YOU HAVE A CLIENT THAT NEEDS ANY TYPE OF HELP JUST SEND THEM OVER AND I CAN ASSIST THEM ON ANY ISSUES THEY MAY HAVE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME AND GOD BLESS. http://www.yourfamilyhomeloans.com/
This has been going on for a year now and it will continue unless you automatically get rid of the crud. Recently this happen with a few bloggers and the temporary suspension method doesn't seem to do much except give them a slap in the butt but unless people start reading what they write before they post...it's a no brainer. Recently was the first time I actually saw someones name come up in a post but all that was done was the temp suspension. I mentioned that those people will play out their little fantasy of playing the part of the power monger...just wait until we reach 100,000 members...then you'll have another possible 40K of people who don't know better.
Great post Rich...The title is appropriate and the earworm is going to stick all day.
I would believe that Unsolicited calls would be to sell your goods...or send me an email about your Mortgage Company's Grand Opening in AZ because I am a Active Rain Member.
I believe the call to action is to build upon a friendship that lies on this monitor. That type of solicitation is not illegal. And should be encouraged...
Rich-I've seen both the good and bad in my short time on AR. I've been puzzled by some of the things that the AR gods respond to when we flag or email a question or concern. It seems for the most part that it goes ignored and as a result the bad behavior continues. My experience says this tends to lead to apathy for the rest of the community and the behavior is going to continue and spread. Just like kids who see one getting away with hitting on the playground so they figure they can too and so it goes. Just my two cents worth.
Hi Rich, This is a great-happy feel good post. :) The rain is a little different these days.
I like your idea of calling someone! I speak to a few rainers' on a somewhat regular basis, I'll have to find someone new. :) I can't wait to see some of the positive changes. Congrats on your new position here!
Rich -- So glad to read this post. . .I have noticed the shift and am saddened by the fact that some people feel the need to spew negativity and abuse the privilege of being a member of this network. Glad to know that you and others are looking to do some house cleaning.
Rich- Congrats on your new position! I am just not attracted to the bad apples and therefor I have never read a post or a nasty comment on my blog or anyone else's blog here. I hang out with positive people and I work hard at staying positive and writing positive posts or ones that make you think. That being said I have had a couple of rants that I posted, but they got featured so I guess I was still in line. But they were not directed at any agent in particular. I certainly would never call someone a name or put them down, what purpose does that serve? It would just make me look bad. Oh, and yes, I call people on AR all the time to help them out or just to say hi. Katerina
Rich, I have been seeing some funny stuff....was it for real or not? I just move on. Thank you for this post and for the good words here. I so embrace all you say here and want to thank you for the reasurance that we will protect this community. The lovin' feeling is real for me and it nice to see it written about! Congratulations on your new position. We are happy 'bout that!
Rich - I could say a lot here like some of the others have but will keep up the positive energy and just say I think it is a great idea to make a phone call. I am going to carry through with your suggestion.
Ok I guess McCabe also called her but I decided to call Sweet Maggie in Florida. Something I have wanted to do for a while! Good homework Rich! Er, Gotbob? er.... LOL
One thing frightened me. I looked through my subscribed list and saw lots of people I know I have called or who have called me. Some I talk to a lot. And some I think I have spoken to on the phone, but is it true or am I just old? LOL
ok back to work, off for second showing on a house and it's 65 out!
Rich....2 comments. 1- I did my homework, and called someone I have never spoken with,Vanessa.
And #2 -I wanted to give another 2 cents on the issue of our community. I think things started to fall apart when somepeople were allowed to go way past what others on here do. I think it is time to get rid of the "Special Interest Groups" ( that's what they say in Politics...), and level the playing field out again.....everyone follows the rules, and everyone gets x points for a post, x for a comment, and every once in awhile we have extra points for x......Period, and consistently, or you end up with a zoo....everyone doing their own thing, and utter chaos.
And I also 100% agree with the Apathy comment....why bother to tell you guys anything if we get BS like "oh well....just delete".......that type of behavior/comment will never build a community, it just continues to divide!
Rich... For the sake of all members here on ActiveRain I hope the gang of bullies will be silenced and the continued witch hunt directed towards many members ends. When ever the same few people have continual problems it make you wonder if they just roll out of bed and start looking for a fight.
THAT was a WELCOME post! We have all seen the changes! Glad to see those that can't stick by some basic rules of decency will be sent packing! Stolen blogs and witch hunts sour a wonderful place to relax, meet and thrive!
Rich I am so glad you wrote this!I was planning a post using this photo so I will put it here so it doesn't go to waste:)
I would just like to add that unfortunately it is not always new members that are the bullies. I think I'll just leave it at that and say you are doing a great job!
I am a brand new newbie, so I haven't seen the attitudes and attitude/behavior changes you are referring to. However, I am thrilled that you are lobbying for enforcing the AR code of conduct. Any community that allows rules to slip eventually looses character and cohesiveness. We need to ask ourselves these questions:
WHY are we here? What do we get out of participation?
The answers are different for each and everyone of us. But, hopefully, most of us are here to learn, to teach others, to make friends, to create referral opportunities, and to reach potential clients. The world is filled with UNLIMITED business for everyone, all we need to do is to go out and get it. Yeah, I know...Easier said than done... But, being angry, envious, hateful and offending others doesn't help anyone.
So, let's make this community as great as it can be!
Your post makes great sense. I've read many slanderous, malicious posts and comments, but just shrug them off as someone having a bad day. ZERO tolerance should be the norm. Every typed word, gets blasted throughout the Internet!
I love it here Rich. I am so glad I found this social network. I have learned so much. I will take your suggestions. I am fairly new here but it is just great! Thank you ActiveRain.
Glad to see your back and in wonderful form! Your reminder is so important to the newer people. Active Rain is not like other places, it is a wonderful place to encourage others and receive encouragment from others. You did an excellent job with the post as usual!
Cool Rich, as usual. We have not run into much bad fruit yet, though there was one who lost her mind when we suggested in good spirit that built in music triggered by opening a post might be a bit intrusive. Like a tip we got from you early one, we just deleted everything about it until it went away. Other than that, we're so far above any fray.
We're bigger, that's for sure. But the good guys and gals are still very good, and valuable friendships are still very much here to be made.
When a bad fiji spoils the vibe, very much agree they should be helped out of here to find another barrel to spoil. Might be good too if who they are and what they did to get tossed were made politely public here on the network. Like how our state RE division publishes monthly the violations and outcomes of bad practice.
Sorry to hear that we've still got a few bad apples in the AR community. AR sure has grown since I found it and became a member! One thing I've noticed is how fast a post gets buried once posted with all the rest. I'm sure that causes tension with the members that are hoping to get noticed and points.
Best wishes to your new position in AR. May a peaceful community BE!
I've actually been thinking about the whole "community" thing the last couple of days myself. But, from a completely different perspective... I'll post up my thoughts in the next day or three...
BTW, I'm one of those people that usually finds lines not to be crossed by checking behind me... My fiends say that is why I'm fun... "he said WHAT?"
Rich, how did I miss your blog for so long. When I see negative content I tend to personally blacklist that person. I won't even read their blogs. Don't have time for toxicity in my life. Thanks for the reminder. Hopefully some of the bad apples will read it and get a clue!
Gary - I ran across the same 'music' person, and made the same kind suggestion, and received the same response. Oh well, to each their own, I suppose...
I would support public outings...maybe not necessarily with names, but specifics on why they were penalized or kicked off, so that other members would know that actions are, in fact, being taken, and policies being enforced. Not a bad idea...
I did extra credit home work.... I called another member. Don Fabrizio-Garcia.... I have only known Don since maybe 2005? I invited Don to ActiveRain... and have never talked to him on the phone. His voice is deeper than what it sounds like via blog or email but so is mine.
Rich, you mean we have to phyiscally talk to a fellow Rainer? How strange. My fingers will not know what to do! I won't be able to hugh my computer. I loved the music. The Righteous Brothers are one of my all time favorite groups.
great point. Rich, I love your consistency, your good heart, your no-nonsense, non-politiical just good solid input and the fact that you DO give a DAMN! WE appreciate you!
Sorry that I had not read your post before now. I will never understand why some can't just do the right thing. Be it in a online community or the community they live in.
Hi Rich, I am a newbee to AR. I am thankful for this new community. Thankfully I have only experienced encouragement so far from AR. I was so nervous taking the leap and doing something that was frankly, technologically challenging for me, so I do know that if I had been the victim early on of wha you were describing I would have been long gone. I am glad to hear you are watching out for this kind of thing.
Sue - It's for new members just like you that I am so very passionate about working to help this network reach it's fullest potential. I want everyone to have the same life/business changing experience I have had as a result of my involvement here!
And I thought college was bad....Lovely post! I'm still fairly new and super shy but definitely read your post and thought about it. You are dead on with your points and it's great to be able to network with fine people such as yourself! Best wishes in 08!
Oh I am glad to read this blog and feel more secure in knowing we must all play nice. As many have said, it is what our mothers taught us. Isn't that a huge bestseller: "Everthing I needed to learn in life I learned in kindergarden"?
Rich, you are so right about feeling like a safe haven. When I first joined this place seemed huge and cold. All it takes is a little time and trust and you will find friends...and business. Thank you for the gentle reminder. Later in the rain~Deb
Providing Knowledgeable Empowerment and Relentless Representation of Real Estate Clients throughtout the Western Puget Sound, including all of Kitsap County WA, and portions of Mason, Pierce, and Jefferson Counties.
"Helping You to Successfully Achieve Your Next Adventure in Life!"
Disclaimer: ActiveRain Corp. does not necessarily endorse the real estate agents, loan officers and brokers listed on this site. These real estate profiles, blogs and blog entries are provided here as a courtesy to our visitors to help them make an informed decision when buying or selling a house. ActiveRain Corp. takes no responsibility for the content in these profiles, that are written by the members of this community.
Posted by 
;)
;)
;)
Well dang! I thought the bad apples link was going to take me to some mug shot photos...Just kidding! Very good points Rich, I'm glad to say I haven't experienced anything I would classify as malicious, but it's nice to know the AR Sheriffs are in town :-)
-Colleen