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Childhood Music Memories

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Okay, so here I am finally with my memory. I'm already crying thinking about my grandpa, so that's why I've put this off. I like to pretend he's on a fishing trip this last four years or so, rather than deal with the truth.

This is about Al Davies, my favorite person & my grandpa. He was the kind of grandpa that made any & all kids that met him want to adopt him as their grandpa. I was very lucky to have him all to myself for my first 3 years... then I had to share him with my sisters & cousins (he was a good enough grandpa that he made it okay to have to share him).

My grandpa would answer any question I asked him. He basically explained anything & everything and always, ALWAYS let us all know GIRLS CAN DO ANYTHING. (He had 4 daughters, 7 grand-daughters & one grand-son).

There was one explanation that I know has shaped the way I behave in my life, and that was his explanation of this song (He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother by The Hollies). I remember standing in the car (that's right, seatbelts weren't required then) and leaning on his shoulder when this song came on the radio. I thought I was very clever by realizing that "He doesn't get any less heavy just because he's your brother."

Grandpa was one of 15 kids. They grew up dirt poor in Wisconsin. (My great grandma Minnie was a tiny little woman, I can't believe she gave birth to 14 children - 1 was stillborn - 2 were step-kinds. But she did it.) So my grandpa obviously knows about family. His family was/is very close.

He explained to me that it wasn't physical heaviness that they were singing about. Because you love your brother (sister/family), you would do anything for them and be glad. That it is a blessing to be able to take care of your family, not a burden. To quote Oprah, this was my first "ah ha" moment... and I was only around 6 years old at the time. Pretty serious, but I can trace the way I feel about my family and the fact that I will go above and beyond for them to this moment.

The final "ah ha" moment that my grandfather gave me (while he was living... there was one after he passed that I will share as well) came when he was ready to let go after living with/fighting with multiple myeloma. Boy, he had the strongest will I can imagine. He waited until every one of his living brothers and sisters were here visiting him before he was ready to let go. I listened to him give his brothers instructions about what needed to be done around the house, to the car, etc. to take care of my grandma. I watched them lovingly assure him they would take care of it. And I watched them do it. It hit me during his wake that it would be disrespecful to my grandpa to accept anything less in a partner/husband for myself. This may cause me to be single for the rest of my life, but I'm fine with that. Grandpa wouldn't want me to settle for less & I have to agree with him.

The last "ah ha" moment" was at Bill's Casino in Lake Tahoe. We used to go there every year for our September b'days (his, my mom's & mine). Bill's was his (& my) favorite casino because of the multitude of nickle machines (me) & the dog & beer combo for $1.50 (him). I am always drawn to the Wheel of Fortune machines. I always want them to say "Wheel of Fortune" to me. They never have. So I was playing one of them, attempting to hear those words, and I got complete blanks across the screen. I thought, "Well, I should get something for that!" Very clearly, just over my shoulder, I heard my grandpa's voice saying, "You can't get something for nothing sweetie." He was right again, of course. I love you grandpa!

Comments (42)

Adam Waldman
Westcott Group Real Estate Company - Hauppauge, NY
Realtor - Long Island
Wow Chris.  This post was so powerful, and I'm in awe that your family has come on to share their memories as well.  I never knew what that song meant either, so I appreciate you sharing your Grandpa's take on it.  He sounds like a great man.  He reminds me of my father (who passed away).  Everyone has such great memories of him as well.  Thank you for sharing your Grandpa with us.
Jan 13, 2008 10:15 PM
Chris Fisher
Your Virtual Assistant - Concord, CA

Chris - Just another memory -  I believe that your Mom told Red (Farrell) that your grampa wanted him to cut his hair.  This had been Red's job for many years (being the family barber).  With tears in his voice Red quietly said, I can't cut his hair, because I cut Ray's just before he died. (2 years previously)   A lovely piece of memory, Chris.

From Aunt Corkie

Jan 14, 2008 02:46 AM
Chris Fisher
Your Virtual Assistant - Concord, CA

Ken, Gina & Corkie - Thank you for sharing your memories too...  I still can't believe they left you in Corning.  That story is insane!  & You're right Gina, we couldn't have asked for more. 

Hi Adam -  Thank you.  I'm glad you had a dad like my grandpa.  We were lucky!

Chris

Jan 14, 2008 02:56 AM
Jeff Belonger
Social Media - Infinity Home Mortgage Company, Inc - Cherry Hill, NJ
The FHA Expert - FHA Loans - FHA mortgages - USDA loans - VA Loans

Chris.... I don't know what else to say. But yes, very touching story and awesome song as I have a few tears now, ...gee, thanks.  ;o) 

On another note, where in Wisconsin?  My dad grew up in Two Rivers, WI and was 1 of 7 children. 4 other brothers and 2 sisters.  On any case, sorry for your loss, but his memories will be with you forever. Thanks for sharing this.

jeff belonger
Jan 14, 2008 09:38 AM
Chris Fisher
Your Virtual Assistant - Concord, CA

Fond du lac, Wisconsin.  I guess they "grow" large families in WI!  7 is a lot too.  To me... I thought 1 was enough. : )

Chris

Jan 14, 2008 09:44 AM
Jeff Belonger
Social Media - Infinity Home Mortgage Company, Inc - Cherry Hill, NJ
The FHA Expert - FHA Loans - FHA mortgages - USDA loans - VA Loans
I guess so and I know of the place...  we had friends from NJ that lived there. Their last names were the Friends?  I remember the mothers name... Mary Friend. Had a daughter and son....  I want to say Ed?  And don't know the husband/father...
Jan 14, 2008 10:01 AM
Inna Hardison
ha media group - Orlando, FL
Wordpress for Real Estate & Design, Print HaMedia Group
What a beautiful and tender tribute to your grandpa... Thank you so much for sharing...
Jan 15, 2008 06:21 AM
Chris Fisher
Your Virtual Assistant - Concord, CA

Thank you Inna - you can see from my family's comments I'm not alone in missing him!

Jeff - Grandma was trying to remember them (she's 80).  I'll as my mom when she returns from Colorado.  May have better luck.  Grandma does love to talk about people fromWisconsin.

Chris

Jan 15, 2008 06:36 AM
No Longer Active
Real Estate - Fallon, MT
Chris... Great memories of your Grandpa and the wisdom he bestowed on you....
Jan 15, 2008 11:08 AM
Chris Fisher
Your Virtual Assistant - Concord, CA
Thank you Dan, I'm glad you had the time to take a look at it.
Chris
Jan 15, 2008 11:20 AM
Paul Slaybaugh
Homesmart - Scottsdale, AZ
Scottsdale, AZ Real Estate
Thank you so much for this touching entry to our contest, Chris.  I don't think one can read this piece without feeling somewhat of a loss for never having the opportunity to meet your grandpa while he graced this earth.  This was obviously a very personal exercise, and I know that the contest results were the furthest thing from your mind when you penned this, but let me say congratulations for being amongst the winners.  Very well deserved.  Thank you again for sharing yourself and your grandfather so freely.
Jan 15, 2008 11:48 AM
Chris Fisher
Your Virtual Assistant - Concord, CA

Paul - thank you so much!  I know grandpa would be proud that a post about him was so appreciated.  I really didn't have a choice... when I read the challenge it was the one thing that popped into my mind. 

Chris

Jan 15, 2008 12:25 PM
Kathleen Vetrano
RE/MAX Gateway - Falls Church, VA
Helping YOU Achieve YOUR Dreams
Chris,  Congratulations on your winning entry.  Very nice tribute to your Grandpa.  His sage advice is now shared with many and appreciated.  Congratulations again!
Jan 15, 2008 01:43 PM
Simon Conway
Orlando Area Real Estate Services - Orlando, FL
Wonderful entry and deserved winner. Grandpas are special people. I am one now with three little ones and I shall endeavour to emulate my own grandpas with sage advice.
Jan 15, 2008 02:05 PM
Ginger S
Wilkinson & Associates, Wilmington NC - Wilmington, NC
Wilmington NC Real Estate & Relocation~

Chris this is such a heartwarming tribute to  wonderful grandpa, and I love how your Mom and Aunts and Uncles came by and commented. What a blessing to have a great bog family like you do!

The song has been one of my favorites forever. I love the BJ Thomas version of it too. Congratualations on your win!

Ginger 

Jan 15, 2008 02:37 PM
Terrylynn Fisher
Dudum Real Estate Group - BuyStageSell.com - Walnut Creek, CA
HAFA Certified, EcoBroker, CRS, CSP Realtor, Etc.
I do want to thank you all for reading and commenting on my daugher's blog about my dad.  They did have a very special relationship and as you can see he had a special relationship with everyone he met.  He was truly one of a kind.  My hero...in many ways.  Thanks, this was a touching and nostalgic experience for our family.  Terrylynn:-)
Jan 16, 2008 05:37 PM
Marchel Peterson
Results Realty - Spring, TX
Spring TX Real Estate E-Pro
Chris, that was the sweetest post about your Grandpa.  It sounds like he was a wonderful inspiration in your life.  I just got back from seeing the Lion King and the song "he lives in you" comes in to my mind reading your post. 
Jan 22, 2008 01:05 PM
Chris Fisher
Your Virtual Assistant - Concord, CA

Wow - I don't know how I missed saying thank you for these kind congratulations, but I did!  Sorry about that and thank you so much!

And thank you Marchel.  I hope you had a great trip to NY. 

Chris

Jan 23, 2008 02:51 AM
Anonymous
Susan Ketcham

Your grandpa was a geat man.   We loved him, loved his work (the deck is intact) and really enjoyed tallking with Al.  I enjoyed your remembrances of him.  Thank you for sharing them.  And yes, he had a sense of humor!

Jun 18, 2008 05:14 PM
#41
Chris Fisher
Your Virtual Assistant - Concord, CA
Susan - thank you so much! We love my grandpa too! He was definitely one of the good ones. And he knew a good kid when he met one! Good job with Adryon. I know she's having a hard time, but what a great choice she's made. Chris
Jun 18, 2008 05:47 PM