Childhood Music Memories
This is about Al Davies, my favorite person & my grandpa. He was the kind of grandpa that made any & all kids that met him want to adopt him as their grandpa. I was very lucky to have him all to myself for my first 3 years... then I had to share him with my sisters & cousins (he was a good enough grandpa that he made it okay to have to share him).
My grandpa would answer any question I asked him. He basically explained anything & everything and always, ALWAYS let us all know GIRLS CAN DO ANYTHING. (He had 4 daughters, 7 grand-daughters & one grand-son).
There was one explanation that I know has shaped the way I behave in my life, and that was his explanation of this song (He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother by The Hollies). I remember standing in the car (that's right, seatbelts weren't required then) and leaning on his shoulder when this song came on the radio. I thought I was very clever by realizing that "He doesn't get any less heavy just because he's your brother."
Grandpa was one of 15 kids. They grew up dirt poor in Wisconsin. (My great grandma Minnie was a tiny little woman, I can't believe she gave birth to 14 children - 1 was stillborn - 2 were step-kinds. But she did it.) So my grandpa obviously knows about family. His family was/is very close.
He explained to me that it wasn't physical heaviness that they were singing about. Because you love your brother (sister/family), you would do anything for them and be glad. That it is a blessing to be able to take care of your family, not a burden. To quote Oprah, this was my first "ah ha" moment... and I was only around 6 years old at the time. Pretty serious, but I can trace the way I feel about my family and the fact that I will go above and beyond for them to this moment.
The final "ah ha" moment that my grandfather gave me (while he was living... there was one after he passed that I will share as well) came when he was ready to let go after living with/fighting with multiple myeloma. Boy, he had the strongest will I can imagine. He waited until every one of his living brothers and sisters were here visiting him before he was ready to let go. I listened to him give his brothers instructions about what needed to be done around the house, to the car, etc. to take care of my grandma. I watched them lovingly assure him they would take care of it. And I watched them do it. It hit me during his wake that it would be disrespecful to my grandpa to accept anything less in a partner/husband for myself. This may cause me to be single for the rest of my life, but I'm fine with that. Grandpa wouldn't want me to settle for less & I have to agree with him.
The last "ah ha" moment" was at Bill's Casino in Lake Tahoe. We used to go there every year for our September b'days (his, my mom's & mine). Bill's was his (& my) favorite casino because of the multitude of nickle machines (me) & the dog & beer combo for $1.50 (him). I am always drawn to the Wheel of Fortune machines. I always want them to say "Wheel of Fortune" to me. They never have. So I was playing one of them, attempting to hear those words, and I got complete blanks across the screen. I thought, "Well, I should get something for that!" Very clearly, just over my shoulder, I heard my grandpa's voice saying, "You can't get something for nothing sweetie." He was right again, of course. I love you grandpa!
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