Okay, so here I am finally with my memory. I'm already crying thinking about my grandpa, so that's why I've put this off. I like to pretend he's on a fishing trip this last four years or so, rather than deal with the truth.
This is about Al Davies, my favorite person & my grandpa. He was the kind of grandpa that made any & all kids that met him want to adopt him as their grandpa. I was very lucky to have him all to myself for my first 3 years... then I had to share him with my sisters & cousins (he was a good enough grandpa that he made it okay to have to share him).
My grandpa would answer any question I asked him. He basically explained anything & everything and always, ALWAYS let us all know GIRLS CAN DO ANYTHING. (He had 4 daughters, 7 grand-daughters & one grand-son).
There was one explanation that I know has shaped the way I behave in my life, and that was his explanation of this song (He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother by The Hollies). I remember standing in the car (that's right, seatbelts weren't required then) and leaning on his shoulder when this song came on the radio. I thought I was very clever by realizing that "He doesn't get any less heavy just because he's your brother."
Grandpa was one of 15 kids. They grew up dirt poor in Wisconsin. (My great grandma Minnie was a tiny little woman, I can't believe she gave birth to 14 children - 1 was stillborn - 2 were step-kinds. But she did it.) So my grandpa obviously knows about family. His family was/is very close.
He explained to me that it wasn't physical heaviness that they were singing about. Because you love your brother (sister/family), you would do anything for them and be glad. That it is a blessing to be able to take care of your family, not a burden. To quote Oprah, this was my first "ah ha" moment... and I was only around 6 years old at the time. Pretty serious, but I can trace the way I feel about my family and the fact that I will go above and beyond for them to this moment.
The final "ah ha" moment that my grandfather gave me (while he was living... there was one after he passed that I will share as well) came when he was ready to let go after living with/fighting with multiple myeloma. Boy, he had the strongest will I can imagine. He waited until every one of his living brothers and sisters were here visiting him before he was ready to let go. I listened to him give his brothers instructions about what needed to be done around the house, to the car, etc. to take care of my grandma. I watched them lovingly assure him they would take care of it. And I watched them do it. It hit me during his wake that it would be disrespecful to my grandpa to accept anything less in a partner/husband for myself. This may cause me to be single for the rest of my life, but I'm fine with that. Grandpa wouldn't want me to settle for less & I have to agree with him.
The last "ah ha" moment" was at Bill's Casino in Lake Tahoe. We used to go there every year for our September b'days (his, my mom's & mine). Bill's was his (& my) favorite casino because of the multitude of nickle machines (me) & the dog & beer combo for $1.50 (him). I am always drawn to the Wheel of Fortune machines. I always want them to say "Wheel of Fortune" to me. They never have. So I was playing one of them, attempting to hear those words, and I got complete blanks across the screen. I thought, "Well, I should get something for that!" Very clearly, just over my shoulder, I heard my grandpa's voice saying, "You can't get something for nothing sweetie." He was right again, of course. I love you grandpa!
I'm sorry you lost your Grandpa, Chris. He sounds like a wonderful man. Not everyone his age would be encouraging to his almost all-girl tribe and want you to be the best you could be. It's funny how certain songs will trigger memories. I hope this song always brings you all the wonderful memories of your grandpa. Very nice post.
Thank you everyone! He was a great guy. Dearly missed by all of us & what an inspiration. Sorry I made you cry Jeannie, you shoulda seen me writing it! I think the whole front of my shirt was wet. : )
I wanted to tell the story about that song at his funeral, but I couldn't even talk. So now it's been told.
Honey, wow...I knew grandpa made an impression on all of us, but is it no nice to hear the little things from back when you were 6 and all. Um you didn't tell the story about when you asked him what the dogs were doing when you saw them "jumping" each other when you were 4. Wonder why? You are right, we miss him so much, even today. Love you, mom
OHHHH and now you have me thinking of other stuff. Like the fact that a dad as good as mine was was always teaching me things. When something would happen he would be the first person I called to see how he would handle it. He always knew when your car broke or you needed something fixed if the person's price was fair or if you should keep looking, if you should look for another of something or buy that one. NOW I am that person. There is alot of satisfaction in being the "go to" person really, but at first I felt it was an awful lot of pressure and responsibility. As the grief therapist so aptly reminded me, he is inside of you and has given you all his knowledge and you probably can think about a question or problem right now and know what his answer would be. She was right and it has given me comfort ever since that I can handle anything. Do I talk to him alot and ask...YES? Does he answer, often and sometimes his answer is, you know the right thing to do honey. Yes GREAT dad, gave us all so much. love, mom
This is awesome! I guess I had never really listened to this song (of course I have heard it) as it was before "my time." You have made me take note and have an "ah ha" moment myself and for that, Thanks! And for sharing, Thanks! Such wonderful memories you and your mom have of your grandfather. You know that sharing them with us evokes our own individual and enduring special memories.
Great post - what a wonderful memory of your Grandpa. It's especially moving for me right now because of something I'm going through, and this song is making me realize that I need to practice more of what your Grandpa was talking about. I love the Hollies, by the way, and this is a great song.
Mom - I also didn't mention my response when he said, "Everybody has long hair nowadays, how are you supposed to tell the girls from the boys!" "Um, Grandpa, they have different parts."
Rich - Glad you liked the post and the "ah-ha" moment. (although you don't have to mention "before your time" - I already know I'm a fossil! lol)
Lisa - Sorry you're going through a tough time, hope Grandpa could help! It is a great song.
What a beautiful tribute to your grandfather. Sorry to hear about his passing he sounds like a wonderful man. I loved my grandfather so much too. He passed away 25 yrs ago yesterday and I still miss him just as much.
Thank you so much, Trace. I know, it never seems to go away. Still think of things I want to tell him. I know my 80 year old grandmother lost her mother at the age of 24 and she still misses her. At least we know they are gone, but definitely not forgotten.
That's so true Aunt Marion. Of course most of you won't know this, so I'll tell you. Aunt Marion is the eldest of this clan and was 2nd mommy to the rest of the kids. She was very good at it, from what I've heard. : ) They all look up to Aunt Marion still.
THANKS FOR WRITING THIS CHRIS. IT'S GREAT. I MISS YOUR GRAMPA TOO. WHEN I READ THE CARTOON "PICKLES" MANY TIMES THERE ARE SOME FUNNY THINGS THAT SOUND LIKE AL WOULD SAY. HE HAD THE BEST QUIET SENSE OF HUMOR. LOVE NEDDIE
Awesome Post Chris - and Awesome Song - Your Grandpa would be proud - cherish those memories - they are precious - I never knew my grandpa's they both died before I was born - your memories and the lessons learned brought a smile to me today- thanks for sharing.
Thank you so much for sharing your memories of your grandpa. He sounds like a man that every one should know. As Jeff and Safrin said your grandpa would be very proud of you.
Hello Aunt Neddie... yes, grandpa did have a great sense of humor. He was so calm & gentle. It was amazing.
Grace - In my family we are very lucky with grandparents... my daughter has 2 great grandmas. I'm glad grandpa made you smile. He had that effect on people.
Hi Dale - Thank you - He was a man every one would have wanted to know. & every kid really did want to adopt him as their grandpa!
Thank you Shannon. Al was a good guy. As you can see by the posts (in caps), I've got his sisters with internet going again too. Aunt Marion's asking me to email this to people who don't have email! lol. What a great family.
Thanks for writing this honey. Grandpa was so special to all of us. He honsesty meant more to me than my own Dad and I am honored to be able to say this.
I always looked forward to the annual camping/fishing trip with grandpa and your Dad. Grandpa was such a hard worker all of his life but he sure knew how to relax when it was time. He always looked forward to camping. I will never know how to catch fish like he did and I was always amazed how the three of us would be in the same general spot and grandpa would just keep pulling fish out while your dad and I would finally give up trying and start reading a book.
Of course there was the camping trip where your Dad and grandpa forgot me at the rest stop in Corning. Too bad they realized this minor detail after they got to Shasta City 3 hours later. I have gotten so many laughs about this story. I didn't have to prepare a meal or wash one dish on that trip. How funny. I hope your Mom has never been criticized for forgetting ANYTHING by your Dad after that.
You wrote such a nice tribute to Grandpa. I miss him and cry when I think about my relationship with him. I know he still looks over me and us. He was one of my biggest fans, watching me in plays, listening to me sing "Annie" songs and "tap-dance," and coming to my high school football games when I was in the band. As a little girl I just knew my Grandpa was the funniest grandpa because he told me, "Don't take any wooden nickels," and "Hey your head's on crooked!" when I wore a side ponytail. I would ask him to tell me stories about when he was a little boy and he would tell me about peeling potatoes to get into the circus and using one roller-skate because he had to share a pair with his siblings. He loved to talk about his brothers and sisters and I loved to hear about them. Grandpa always loved me exactly as I was. There was no expectation for me to act differently or say something, we could sit with each other and not talk and be happy. I think we just really understood each other, Kindred Spirits. He helped influence me to be exactly who I am, to be proud of the things that make me unique. Who can ask for more than that?
Wow Chris. This post was so powerful, and I'm in awe that your family has come on to share their memories as well. I never knew what that song meant either, so I appreciate you sharing your Grandpa's take on it. He sounds like a great man. He reminds me of my father (who passed away). Everyone has such great memories of him as well. Thank you for sharing your Grandpa with us.
Chris - Just another memory - I believe that your Mom told Red (Farrell) that your grampa wanted him to cut his hair. This had been Red's job for many years (being the family barber). With tears in his voice Red quietly said, I can't cut his hair, because I cut Ray's just before he died. (2 years previously) A lovely piece of memory, Chris.
Ken, Gina & Corkie - Thank you for sharing your memories too... I still can't believe they left you in Corning. That story is insane! & You're right Gina, we couldn't have asked for more.
Hi Adam - Thank you. I'm glad you had a dad like my grandpa. We were lucky!
Chris.... I don't know what else to say. But yes, very touching story and awesome song as I have a few tears now, ...gee, thanks. ;o)
On another note, where in Wisconsin? My dad grew up in Two Rivers, WI and was 1 of 7 children. 4 other brothers and 2 sisters. On any case, sorry for your loss, but his memories will be with you forever. Thanks for sharing this.
I guess so and I know of the place... we had friends from NJ that lived there. Their last names were the Friends? I remember the mothers name... Mary Friend. Had a daughter and son.... I want to say Ed? And don't know the husband/father...
Thank you Inna - you can see from my family's comments I'm not alone in missing him!
Jeff - Grandma was trying to remember them (she's 80). I'll as my mom when she returns from Colorado. May have better luck. Grandma does love to talk about people fromWisconsin.
Thank you so much for this touching entry to our contest, Chris. I don't think one can read this piece without feeling somewhat of a loss for never having the opportunity to meet your grandpa while he graced this earth. This was obviously a very personal exercise, and I know that the contest results were the furthest thing from your mind when you penned this, but let me say congratulations for being amongst the winners. Very well deserved. Thank you again for sharing yourself and your grandfather so freely.
Paul - thank you so much! I know grandpa would be proud that a post about him was so appreciated. I really didn't have a choice... when I read the challenge it was the one thing that popped into my mind.
Chris, Congratulations on your winning entry. Very nice tribute to your Grandpa. His sage advice is now shared with many and appreciated. Congratulations again!
Wonderful entry and deserved winner. Grandpas are special people. I am one now with three little ones and I shall endeavour to emulate my own grandpas with sage advice.
Chris this is such a heartwarming tribute to wonderful grandpa, and I love how your Mom and Aunts and Uncles came by and commented. What a blessing to have a great bog family like you do!
The song has been one of my favorites forever. I love the BJ Thomas version of it too. Congratualations on your win!
I do want to thank you all for reading and commenting on my daugher's blog about my dad. They did have a very special relationship and as you can see he had a special relationship with everyone he met. He was truly one of a kind. My hero...in many ways. Thanks, this was a touching and nostalgic experience for our family. Terrylynn:-)
Chris, that was the sweetest post about your Grandpa. It sounds like he was a wonderful inspiration in your life. I just got back from seeing the Lion King and the song "he lives in you" comes in to my mind reading your post.
Your grandpa was a geat man. We loved him, loved his work (the deck is intact) and really enjoyed tallking with Al. I enjoyed your remembrances of him. Thank you for sharing them. And yes, he had a sense of humor!
Susan - thank you so much! We love my grandpa too! He was definitely one of the good ones. And he knew a good kid when he met one! Good job with Adryon. I know she's having a hard time, but what a great choice she's made.
Chris
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Okay, so here I am finally with my memory. I'm already crying thinking about my grandpa, so that's why I've put this off. I like to pretend he's on a fishing trip this last four years or so, rather than deal with the truth.
;)
;)
