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“Beautiful craftmanshit” - The Straight Poop About MLS Bloopers

By
Real Estate Agent with Sotheby's International Realty BRE # 01362887

Something in America has died, my friends – spelling! But how much fun would we have if we couldn’t occasionally laugh at some of these ridiculous bloopers from the MLS and the local real estate ads? Some of these are worth donning a party hat:

Where the Bodies Lie…

“Lvg newly planted” (RIP – Just like your listing.)

“Windows have plantations” (Let me guess…Keith Richards’ grow house?)

“Corn early” (Agricultural update provided by Chief Sitting Bull.)

“Beautiful craftmanshit” (…So it’s a pile of crap like your career?)

Decomposed and Deconstructed

“Details from a bye gone era (Kiss your seller bye while you’re at it.)

“Was once a boaring house” (Talk about groveling in pig s__t!)

“This will put a smell on your buyer’s face” ( So you’re gonna slap him upside the head with a mackerel?)

“Pride of Owdership” (That ain’t the only thing that stinks about this listing!)

“A cat above” (Grinned Jerry just before he drooped an anvil on Tom’s foot.)

In Requiem

“Will sail fast” (Mumbled Axl Rose just before he hurled a phone off his twelfth floor balcony.)

“At end of cure” (Pronounced Harriet Hair-Wrecker as flames erupted from the curling iron.)

“Drop-don stairway” (Well, that explains Don King’s lack of mental acuity…)

“Drawinf for free oPad” (You’re just one key stroke short of a Depends, pal…) Hint: Look at letter to the right of the "o" on the keyboard.

“Two many changes to describe” (Let me help: One – Chastity Bono before, and Two - Chastity Bono after.)

My Fave

“Swing fur kids” (Why swing the little buggers when you can shave ‘em?)

That’s it for this week, folks. Remember: Spell and Sell!

For more real estate humor, please visit Gwen at www.sherlockofhomes.blogspot.com/ or Agent Genius. For all your real estate needs, please go to www.LAhomesite.com.

Conrad Allen
Re/Max Professional Associates - Webster, MA
Webster, Ma, Realtor

Hi Gwen.  This was one of your best.  So many funny quips. I couldn't stop laughing.

May 24, 2012 08:24 PM
Jay Markanich
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC - Bristow, VA
Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia

You seem to have a theme with this one, but I can't quite put my finger on it.  Do I want to put my finger on it?

May 24, 2012 09:30 PM
Debbie Gartner
The Flooring Girl - White Plains, NY
The Flooring Girl & Blog Stylist -Dynamo Marketers

Gwen - As usual, these are hilarious.  I will need to reblog later.  I love this series.

May 24, 2012 09:44 PM
Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

Hi Gwen,

These are off the chart funny!! I caught this from Debbie's re-blog..thank goodness..I needed a good laugh this morning! Have a safe and Happy Memorial Day week-end.

May 24, 2012 10:15 PM
Ralph Janisch ABR CRS Broker
Janisch & Co. - Conroe, TX
Selling Northwest Houston to good people like you!

Those are really funny but sad at the same time.  Between spelling and poor grammar to improper use of case it shows a clear case of the breakdown of our education system here in America.

May 24, 2012 10:31 PM
Ralph & Janet Henze
Ralph Henze Homes - NOW Real Estate Group - Sherwood Park, AB

Hi Gwen, these are too funny!  Love this series, we just subscribed!

Jan

May 25, 2012 12:10 AM
Donna Foerster
HomeSmart Realty Group - Parker, CO
Metro Denver Real Estate Assistant

Gwen~ I almost missed this week's list.  Thank goodness someone re-blogged it!  

May 25, 2012 04:27 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Lisa, I am so sorry - I'd say "Holy mackeral!"...but that would be redundant :-)

May 25, 2012 05:56 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Mike, I bet it's a "beautiful" thing if one is 16 stories off the ground on a scaffold!

May 25, 2012 05:57 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Conrad - I'm so glad. I owe it all to Stolichnaya :-)

May 25, 2012 06:05 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Jay, the answer is NO - unless you want to lose a finger! :-)

May 25, 2012 06:13 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Debbie - thanks for the re-blog. May you have a laugh-filled weekend!

May 25, 2012 06:15 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Dorie, I'm so happy to put a smile on your lovely face. Be sure to drop by every Friday for the Blooper Blog. We have a lot of fun here!

May 25, 2012 06:16 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Jeanne and Ralph, I agree completely. As a former teacher, it breaks my heart. The only things that seems to be improving are computer skills...and thumb-typing!

May 25, 2012 06:18 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Ralph and Janet - WELCOME ABOARD!

May 25, 2012 06:19 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Donna - how are you? It's great to hear from you. I still post every Friday, but this one came out a day early because of the holiday. I started drinking early :-) 

May 25, 2012 06:20 AM
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Pasadena And Southern California 818.516.4393

Gwen, it is sad but true that I have shown homes where it appears the smell of a house appears on the buyer's face -- in one word --YUCKY.   

May 26, 2012 06:56 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Michael, that's the look I always get on my face when I read some of these bloopers!

May 26, 2012 08:51 AM
Broker Patty Da Silva Da Silva
Green Realty Properties® - 954-667-7253 - Cooper City, FL
Top Listing Broker

Gwen,

“Will sail fast” ~ definitely a prediction of the agent's career.

May 27, 2012 03:45 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Patty, or as they say, "That sh_t has sailed." Oh, or is it "ship"? :-)

May 29, 2012 05:49 AM