Janey was excited about changing the oil of her used car when she woke up this morning, a sunny autumn Saturday morning. She had assembled the necessary tools. She read her owner's manual twice. She even bought an extra quart of oil. She parked her 1990 Ford Taurus in the driveway and started to work. She jacked up the front of the chassis and just before she rolled herself under the 3,100 pound machine her next-door neighbor, Mr. Gianni appeared by her side.
"What are you doing, Janey?" the teetering old man asked. Mr. Gianni was close to eighty five years old. He was wearing two sweaters and the temperature was a balmy 70 degrees. 
"I'm going to change my oil, Mr. Gianni. Who says a gal can't do automotive work!" Janey beamed, flirting with the genteel World War II Veteran. Mr. Gianni surveryed the situation through his Coke bottle eyeglasses and then gruffed
"Hold off, Janey. Don't do anything until I come back."
Janey mused to herself. Don't do anything until I come back. What could Mr. Gianni do? He was in no physical condition to get under the car. He could hardly carry any significant weight. But Janey was a good girl. She patiently waited. She giggled underneath her breath. Don't do anything until I come back.
An excruciatingly ten minutes later Mr. Gianni appeared, dragging a metal milk crate and a block of 4x4 wood. He was struggling with both awkward objects.
"Janey," Mr. Gianni ordered in a surprisingly strong tone, "place the metal milk crate under the chassis frame now that the car is fully lifted by the jack. Try to catch solid metal, not the bumper. Now place that block of wood behind the rear tire. Jam it in there nice and tight between the tire and the pavement."
Janey did so with a quizzical look on her face.
Mr. Gianni explained, "If the jack starts to bend by the weight of the car the metal milk crate will support the car long enough for you to crawl out of there without getting crushed to death."
Janey was speechless. She never considered that scenario.
"And with that block of wood chocked behind the tire that will prevent the car from accidentally rolling over you."
Janey stammered, obviously impressed, "Thanks, Mr. Gianni. I never would have thought of that."
"Learned that in the Brooklyn Navy Yard in the repair depot. Well, Janey, Mrs. Gianni is taking me for breakfast. Don't get too grimey." And off he went.
* * * * * * * * * * *
Now you may have purchased a home or two. Maybe sold a property privately. You may have read many books and collected reams of data over the Internet. You could probably represent yourself in a transaction and never realize a negative consequence.
But why take the chance? Local real estate experts and licensed professionals know a ton (more like 3,100 pounds, the average weight of a 1990 Ford Taurus) about property values, negotiation, zoning laws, school information, recreation, employment opportunities and commuting options.
Thinking of buying (I am an Accredited Buyer Representative ABR) or selling real estate in Middlesex, Monmouth or Ocean County? Give me a call or e-mail me. I'll get back to you as soon as possible.
Don't do anything until I come back! My involvement will be worth the wait.
We represent buyers and sellers of condos, single family homes and investment properties. 
You can call Andrew at (732) 431-9003 or email me or visit me at my company website.
Andrew J. Lenza, ABR GRI MBA Broker/Owner
ANDREW J. LENZA REALTY
73 State Highway 34 Colts Neck, NJ 07722
Office Telephone (732) 431-9003
(c) Copyright, 2008. Andrew J. Lenza, All Rights Reserved
- Members, Monmouth & Ocean County MLS and Middlesex County MLS
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Andrew - Point taken. I just read about why you need a realtor at the naked realtor. I am consistently impressed with your ability to take just an average day and share a warm afternoon.