Great old classics but what does it have to do with the Active Rain Community?  I love watching him on "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader" too.  Funny show.

Gary, that is why it is posted in the groups that it is.

Danny - Those are great, I always love hearing those. You know there is a little bit of Redneck in all of us!

Hey Danny,

Were you ever invited to a house warming party to help take the wheels off?

Dick Beals

Howdy Danny

Us rednecks are folks to. lol

I have always like every one of them.

Have a good one

Dale

Haha...very funny stuff!

thanks for the laugh today, Danny. I do like the red neck jokes.

Marey, that is the truth.

Dick, yes, in Bama.

Dale, yes we are.

Sal, thanks.

Bonnie, me too. 

There's even "Redneck Real Estate".

Check this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQDE6ZA0IvU&NR=1

-

There's even "Redneck Real Estate".

Check this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQDE6ZA0IvU&NR=1

-

Yikes, we have three Volvo's....I'd better make sure my husband knows.........LOL!!!

LOL Danny...these are pretty funny...I like the wrestling one especially

That just cracks me up!!!! lol and that youtube "Redneck Real Estate" LOL!!!

Your friend in Charlottesville

Erby, that is one awesome video.

Debbie, you think?

Rick, me too.

Charles, glad you enjoyed.

Mmmmmm.... Spam on the Bar'b!

What's a six pack without a bug zapper!!!

Guess I'm a red neck.

Martin, LOL. Here is the question you have to ask yourself.

"Does your Richest relative live in a house on wheels? 

LOL!!  Thanks for the redneck jokes!  I heard a few of them- but, not all of them!  :)

These are too funny.

Erby - I love the youtube video.

Rick, you are quite welcome.

Rich, you just wanted the his and her crappers.  

haha Nice Danny. Nice.  

your idea of high-quality entertainment is a six-pack and a bug-zapper.

While bug zappers aren't that entertaining, change the end of that sentence to almost anything else and I guess I'm a redneck :) 

-Chris 

Chris, somehow changing itjust does not do the same thing though.

Danny-

Moved away from the great state of Georgia not too long ago. How about these...

You might be a redneck if... 

... your house has wheels and your cars don't.

... your wife is wearing a tube top in your wedding picture.

... you think 'asphalt' is something you need to see the proctologist about.

... you think 'Yantu?' is a word - as in 'We're goin' fishin.' Yantu?' 

Did you know that most redneck emergency room visits are initiated by the words  "Hey Bubba.  Watch this..."

Lance, those are all great

LOL !  I needed a good laugh to start my day off!  Thanks Danny; this was funny.

James, glad to have you on board. Thanks for subscribing.

That billboard that says, "Say No To Crack" reminds you to pull up your jeans...I liked this one the best...we have a lot individuals down here that could use that

Thanks for the laugh!

Cris, I remember that also. We used to see a ton of crack in Clearwater.

Good stuff Danny, anything to CRACK a smile:)

These are funny! Im always up for a good laugh.

Are Yankees allowed to laugh at Redneck Jokes? :)

Ann, great one.

Alex, you & me both.

Ardell, yes, they laugh at Yankee jokes.

If You think "MOBY DICK" ia an STD .................................  You might be a REDNECK....

Cowboy, that is funny....

Hey Danny Thornton, now the question is ........... Do You have to be white to be a redneck? Is there a Mexican Redneck? How about a Korean Redneck? Italian Redneck? Eskimo Redneck? or how about a HEINZ 57 REDNECK like Me?

Cowboy, I think there are rednecks of all nationalities.

LOL, those are so great.  Since I grew up in the great state of Bama, and now am farther north, I miss some of my peoples!!

I personally like the "tennis racket" bug zapper, that way you get a work out while sitting in your chair drinking beer!!

Audrey, that is too funny.

LOL! Great oldies but goodies! I come from a long line rednecks and proud of it!  YEEE HAAWWW! 

Here are some of my favorites.....

You think the last words to
The Star Spangled Banner are
"Gentlemen, start your engines."

Anyone in your family died right
after saying, "Hey, y'all watch this!".

You got stopped by a state trooper.
He asked you if you had an I.D.
And you said, 'Bout What?' ( if you're not a redneck, you didn't get that one! )

funny, some of them were ones i had never heard

Jennifer, great additions.

Justin, glad that ya liked em. 

Here in Norco, CAlifornia I show property on my Jeep with the top down, and my cowboy hat on. Last weekend I took my dog with Me to show homes.

Cowboy, you got to be more more comfortable.  

Great job, love the redneck jokes. Thanks for actually being FUNNY. When I joined the AR Comedy Club I expected FUNNY stores, jokes, etc. NOT POSTS OF YOUR STUPID LISTINGS PEOPLE! Come on lighten up, get funny, or don't post it.

Sorry if I was raving!

Lyn, that is kinda funny in it self as I had that same issue in a group that I founded.

even though I have heard these before, it is always good for a laugh, thank you...too funny

Patrice, glad that you liked them

You might be a redneck if...

More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

You think the stock market has a fence around it.

You think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

You've ever lost a loved one to kudzu.

Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.

Your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.

You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

You've ever used a toilet seat as a picture frame.

Your home has more miles on it than your car.

Hhmmm...does a Long Island Iced Tea and a zapping fly swatter count?

Cowboy, thanks for the additions.

Lissa, yes. 

Danny

Broke wind in public and blamed it on my wife, does that count? LOL, thanks for posting these.

Gary, that definitely falls in there.

I love the "crack" comment.  We play on a pool league on Sunday nights and whenever I run into a "crack head" I always have to say "Say NO to crack."  Usually they get the hint.

Sandra, that is just too funny.

Hey Gary J Rocks,  You are just describing my father-in-law. My mom-in-law always takes the blame.

Now that is funny.

 Lol..these are good. Here's another one for you? You think Genitalia is an Italian airline....

Elizabeth, you mean it is not?

Get-R_Done ........................................................

Thanks for adding a bit of humor to day tha has not had any humor.  That's why I hang out here!

Cowboy, thanks for refreshing the jokes.

Dick, we got to change that. 

HAHAHA....Thanks for posting this blog!! I get a kick out of these. I used to work with a bunch of guys just like this.

Andy, I still do. LOL

Had to take a look with the title "Redneck", we don't have any of those in Texas! LOL

Cindy, I bet I can name a few.

I just realized I read this again & still laughed some more!  Loved the additions plus the kudzu one from Cowboy Gonzalez.

This is my second stop here....needed a good laugh tonight and just got it! Thanks!

Lyn, I can read this over and over and still laugh.

Ramsey, that is why it stays. 

10 Ways to tell if a Redneck has been working on a Computer

• 10. The monitor is up on blocks.
• 9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them.
• 8. The six front keys have rotted out.
• 7. The extra RAM ports have truck parts stored in them.
• 6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six.
• 5. The password is "Bubba".
• 4. There's a gun rack mounted on the CPU.
• 3. There's a Coors can in the cup holder(CD-ROM drive).
• 2. The keyboard is camouflaged.

AND the number 1 way to tell if a redneck has been working on a computer is...

• 1. The mouse is referred to as a "critter".

A Redneck Christmas

In a small Texas town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. But one small feature bothered me: the three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left.

At a "Quik Stop" on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, "You darn Yankees never read your Bibles!"

I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible.

She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and riffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in my face she said, "See, it says right here, 'The three wise men came from afar.'"

Cowboy, thanks for keeping this alive.

I love Jeff Foxworthy, he's a HOOT! For those who ask what does it have to do with the Active Rain Community?  That's the point...it doesn't have anything to do with it!  This group is just for FUN and LAUGHS!  Thanks for sharing Danny, I got a few good chuckles. 

Cheryl, thanks for the input.

What's the difference between a Yankee zoo and a Redneck zoo?

On the cage in a Yankee zoo, it will have the name of the animal and the scientific name in Latin.

A Southern zoo will have the name of the animal and a recipe.

What's the difference between a northern fairy tale and a southern fairy tale?

A northern fairy tale begins with, "Once upon a time. . . "

A southern fairy tale begins with, "Y'all ain't gonna believe this . . . "

Cowboy, thanks for the additions.

From Shady Hills, FLorida, sometimes known as either "horse country" or "redneck central".... how about if you call the stairs leading up to your mobile home the "ladder of success"?

Rob, that would make you king of the rednecks.

I love these...you might be a redneck if.... Have a great weekend!! Andy Laughlin Connect Realty

Andy, thanks my friend. You too.

Howdy Danny

Heres something for this here post of yours.

Ifen ya get ya hot water this a way, you just might be a redneck.

Dale, that is freaking hilarious.

"Hello, is this the FBI?"

"Yes. What do you want?"

"I'm calling to report about my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood."

"Thank you very much for the call, sir."

The next day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swore at Billy Bob and left.

The phone rings at Billy Bob's house.

"Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?"

"Yeah!"

"Did they chop your firewood?"

"Yep."

"Merry Christmas Buddy."

Cowboy, that is funny.

Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go.

Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earline got pregnant.

Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earline got pregnant again.

Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earline didn't get pregnant again."

Luther asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?"

Billy Bob says, "This year I'm taking Earline with me."

Danny, this is my favorite one you go to your family reunions looking for a date.  Looking them over, we might think they are funny.. but how much of it is the truth?

My daughter says thanks to all the redneck jokes...When she tells people she was born in Arkansas, she immediately says.."And NO, my mother and father are NOT brother and sister!"

Cowboy, thanks for getting this refreshed.

Valerie, I have seen a lot of truth in them.

Sherry, that is too funny.