A father's role in the family . . .

Father's Day is an interesting time for me.  My dad left the house one day when I was four, and I didn't see him again for 13 years.  We ended up being friends when I was young man, but he was never actually a father. 

I enjoyed his company, and he was very entertaining, but he was just another man in my life.  He dropped dead at age 56, a couple days after Christmas 22 years ago.  My sons were not born yet.  I was the last male in my family, and my dad passed thinking that I could be the end of the line.

My mother remarried while I was in elementary school.  My step-dad was a hard worker who made sure we had everything we needed, but the role of step-parent is tough.  My step-dad's job kept him out my most of my life, but he made a good effort to be there when possible.

As kids, we didn't really understand the whole parent-divorce-remarriage thing, and it presented a lot of challenges in our lives.  I've been blessed to be married to the same woman (the noted first wife) for the past thirty years.  My sons have never known the confusion that goes through the mind of a child of divorce.  I'm grateful for that.

My wife and I were talking about this today, and she said, "You turned out pretty good for not having a steady father-son relationship."  And, she's right.  I owe my success as a father to my heavenly Father.  When I became a Christian in 1977, I learned what a true father is like.  My heavenly Father left His diary for me to get to know Him better.  In it, He taught me to:

• Loved unconditionally, just like He does me.
• Know He's always available.
• Have high expectations for my life just like He does.
• Represent the family well.
• Love passionately, to show compassion constantly, to forgive quickly and to live graciously.
• Speak carefully and always speak from knowledge and wisdom.
• Avoid extremes and live a balanced life.
• Reach out to those I can help, and steer those I can't help to the place where they can find it.
• Live humbly.
• Be an example, and if I fail, own up to it and change course.

My sons have been the recipients of my relationship with my heavenly Father.  We talk.  We spend time together.  We help each other.  None of us leaves the house without a hug and confirmation of those three valuable words, "I love you."  The only time I haven't been able to do that has been when I have been out of town or out of the country.  Then, we communicate through email and phone calls.  They will always know the relationship of a father who loves them deeply, expresses it continuously and prays for them daily.  Happy Father's Day.