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Let’s say you’re at the salon and you’ve just had a haircut. You and the stylist discussed expectations ahead of time, however, something got lost in translation and now you're unhappy with the results. Do you speak up and assert your displeasure? Or, do you get upset, pay for the haircut, skip the gratuity, and never return to the salon? Conversely, if you are the stylist, wouldn’t you want a disappointed and frustrated client to feel comfortable approaching you under these circumstances?
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54 Comments on Wouldn't You Rather Someone Confront You Than Blog About You?
Communication is always key. In my opinion expressing the feelings directly when you are NOT angry works best. Sometimes you may find the person was unaware you are unhappy..like a haircut.
Margaret: I always try to approach people in a pleasant manner and speak to them calmly and with respect. Insulting and demeaning is not my style ... and they're not effective either!
Sharon: I prefer to give someone another chance too. That's why I like to talk things out ...
Tammie: Thanks! We do have a lot of friends here, don't we? :)
Hella: I like your idea. I think it's always best to try and talk things out. Most times, this will help resolve the issues at hand and everyone has a chance to speak their mind and be heard. 'Shake hands and part' is always a possibility.
Karen: I don't care much for being disrespected, either! I'm sorry I missed your post about the guy at Kroger's. Sheesh ... some people! That's so funny because sometimes when I'm at the self-checkout, I feel like other customers are thinking exactly what he said to you. And, I'm a pretty fast in the self-checkout line! Oy ... everybody's in a hurry these days :)
Bob: Small issues don't get me down so much either. It's when the issues are more significant to me, then I feel like I need to say something.
Phil: You're right ... I guess it does depend on your personality and personality type. Then, I must a Communicator :)
Gita: Talking to close friends makes me feel better too!
Eve: That's the worst when you say something and the other person couldn't care less. And, like you, I'll stick up for someone who is being treated poorly as well!
David: Healthy discussions are the best!
Personally, I like the conversational feedback. There are businesses that have received bad reviews, like on Yelp, and they cannot do anything at all about them, but wish they could.
I always fear someone might return the favor ... so to speak .... if I were to blog negatively about another business or dissatisfaction of service the!! Ugh, that would be awful. So to answer your questions, I think providing feedback directing to the person, quietly, is the way to go for me. i would appreciate my clients doing the same for me. I wouldn't want to read about their complaints about me in their blog so I won't write about them in my blog.
Judi: I'm with you ... I'd rather not do either! I much prefer to talk things out and like you, I would want someone to bring an issue to my attention.
Sheila: Yes, sometimes conversation isn't possible ... or doesn't work.
Janis: Actually, I'm not big on confrontation either! It's just that if I'm agitated and the circumstances are important to me, then I would prefer the opportunity to express myself -- and hopefully create a win-win situation for everyone. You're right ... every situation is different and unfortunately, talking doesn't always work. Yet, I find that trying to stay calm and speaking to someone respectfully helps me a lot ... in most cases :)
Gary: You're right! Many are uncomfortable with feedback unless it's positive. But, as you say, honest feedback can be very useful!
Frank: Yes, it is a balancing act and you also make a great point ... how we deal with issues is often times affected by our current state of mind too!
Beth: I agree ... constructive feedback is important to our businesses and improving performance!
Michael: You're right ... sometimes it is better to just walk away. Pick your battles, yes?
Richie: To me, finding a remedy is always the best!
Gene: Yes, we do learn more from mistakes and failures than from successes. And, although some feedback may be hard to swallow, it is critical for growth and improvement!
Charlie: That's exactly why I much prefer to have a conversation with someone. More personal and less chance for misinterpretation!
Hi Carie...One way I try to open up better communication with my clients is to ask if they have any questions and/or concerns. I always try to include "concerns" as I mean this as an encourage to really share them with me if they have any.
Kate
Jared & Amanda: Great philosophy! It's always best not to burn bridges ... it's a small world out there!
Paula: Yes, personal communication is preferred. And, blogging can be healing for you and helpful for others, too!
Nathan: Thank you! Of course, we would much prefer to receive positive feedback, right? :) But, as you say, we're not perfect and if you tell me I messed up somewhere, I can fix it. Then, we're both happy and I will be better equipped in the future.
Cheryl: Exactly! You may not even know that I'm unhappy if I don't say something -- and just never come back! Then what?
Sandy: I'm with you! I like conversational feedback and I'll be the first person to stop and tell someone about a fabulous experience too!
Terrie: Blogging can definitely be one-sided. And, if I blog about a negative experience, I would never, never, never name names! That being said, I much prefer face-to-face and/or personal conversations.
Kate: That is a great method for achieving open communications! Everybody likes to be heard, and your practice of including 'concerns' is a wonderful way to encourage your clients.
Carie, I love giving feedback, but it is hard to find somebody who wants to really listen! I recently wrote a 2 page feedback letter to my daughter's doctor, and the lady was very nice and called me back in regards to it, but then she argued with me how they did it right and my impression was wrong!!??! It is an art to give constructive feedback, and it is an art to RECEIVE feedback, too!
The take away lesson from this is to work to make sure that our clients feel comfortable with expressing concerns to us and feel assured that we will take what they say to heart and do something about it to make it right.
Hi Carie, I never used to bring up a shortcoming but I've learned that most service providers really do take constructive criticism to heart !
Carie- having managed an office in my previous life I value imput. If no one ever says anything, how would we know? How can we become better at what we do?
I think it depends on the service provider and what has transpired. If a service is so bad and I can tell there will be no benefit to addressing the situation, then I don't bother. If it's a sole proprietor type of business trying to succeed, I'll offer suggestions. It's always great to support small, neighboring businesses.
Carie, as far as me and my frozen chicken and the guy in the check-out line at Krogers... the next time I came in... you wouldn't believe the response from the clerks. They said they had been hoping that somebody would confront this guy for months. It seems he is/was a very pushy "me first" kinda guy... and of course, they, as employees, could not say anything.
Talk about being an accidental hero... yikes ! But, after it was over... the clerks and I had a good laugh... and enjoyed re-telling what happened.
Tanja: That is so true! It is an art to give AND receive constructive feedback. And unfortunately, the response you received from your daughter's doctor (taking the stance that you were wrong) is one reason why people get so frustrated!
Kathryn: You summed it up quite nicely ... thanks :)
Bill: Yes, I've had more positive responses than negative ones too!
Kathy: That's precisely right and I agree with you completely. Feedback helps us to be better at what we do!
Jan: I know what you mean about getting a sense of whether or not there's any real benefit to saying something. And, like you, I'm all for supporting small businesses too!
Karen Anne: What a great story! You, my friend, are the quintessential accidental hero for sure! Sounds like you made everyones day, too :)
I completely agree that I would want someone to express their displeasure. Of course, the other side of that are the people who do so unreasonably. In our 2 1/2 years of business we've never had a significant complaint about our photography and often get compliments (and a lot of business from folks seeing our photography online). But last year I had a client who was very dissatisfied and told me how very unprofessional it looked and how my photos reflected badly on his house. How do you deal with that?
Gretchen
Good morning, Carie. You've certainly hit a nerve with this one :) I am currently working with an attorney on a short sale and the process is taking entirely too long, frustrating my (seller) client. Part of the problem is that the attorney's practice has gotten bigger than he can handle and he farmed this sale to an assistant. My client doesn't hear anything for weeks and then gets a nasty email requesting documents that she sent in months earlier. More than once. We confronted the attorney, with whom we'd previously had an excellent relationship, and were brushed off. More than once. So now I guess we'll have to blog about it :)
Gretchen: I have found that there are some people who just seem to have nothing good to say about anything. And, you can never make them happy ... never. Fortunately, in my experience, these people are the exception. Sounds like you have many pleased and loyal clients :)
Wayne & Jean: How frustrating! The old 'we didn't get it can you resend it' trick ... ugh. Plus, haven't we all seen this time and again? Someone gets too big and the customer service goes straight south. Too bad the attorney isn't doing more to sustain your previously 'excellent relationship.' I feel for you and your seller ... and I'll look forward to reading your blog about it :)
Outstanding advice for everybody in the service business.
I hope you are having an outstanding week. Keep cool with a camera in hand.
Very good post Carie, I don't agree with people expressing their opinion on line if they have not given the folks a chance to correct it.
I like the direct approach. Direct but not harse is what I strive for. Sometimes, there is just no "soft" way to say something. This is a great post. I certainly would not just come right out and spill the beans online and have not spoken to that person - unless I can write it such a way that it could be anyone's problem! Never burn a bridge that you may have cross again is my motto. Of course, I am Leo and we usually tell it like it is and to some that is being harse.
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