So what else would you suggest when there is a room full of people, buyers, sellers, Realtors, a mortgage company representative and 2 people from my staff at Family Abstract, Inc, our Title Insurance company.

CREATE PUNS…. What else???

1. A vulture boards an airplane,  carrying two dead raccoons.  The flight attendant looks at him and  says, “I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”

2. Two fish swim into a concrete  wall.  The one turns to the other and says “Dam!

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak  were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.  Unsurprisingly it  immediately sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and  heat it too.

4. Two hydrogen atoms meet.  One  says “I’ve lost my electron.”  The other says “Are you sure?”   The first replies “Yes, I’m positive.”

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist  who refused Novocain during a root canal?  His goal:  transcend  dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts  checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their  recent tournament victories.  After about an hour, the manager came  out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?”, they asked  as they moved off.  ”Because,” he said,” I can’t stand chess-nuts  boasting in an open foyer.”

7. A woman has identical twins and is  forced to give them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in  Egypt and is named  ”Ahmal.”  The other goes to a family in Spain;  they name him “Juan.”  Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself  to his birth mother.  Upon receiving the picture, she tells her  husband that she wishes she also had a picture
of Ahmal.  Her husband  responds, “They’re identical twins!  If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen  Ahmal.”

8. A group of friars were behind on  their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise  funds.  Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a  rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair.  He  asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not.  He went  back and begged the friars to close.  They ignored him. So, the  rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in  town to “persuade” them to close.  Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he’d be back if they didn’t close up  shop.  Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent Florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of  calluses on his feet.  He also ate very little, which made him rather  frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.  This made  him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

And  finally,

10.  There was the Title Insurance guy from Family Abstract, Inc. who posted ten different puns to friends with the hope that at least one of the  puns would make them laugh.  No pun in ten did.

Please remember Family Abstract for all your title needs in PA, NJ, MD and Fl.   From commitment to Policy, from Our Family to Yours, All our very best!   Please like us on Facebook, Please “Plus 1 us on Google, Please give us a shot at your Title Insurance!

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