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The top 10 things your lender wishes he could say to your borrowers but can't

By Greg Cook

Mortgage and Lending with Platinum Home Mortgage NMLS ID#283159

June 23, 2012 03:21 AM

Thanks to my friends at RESource.TV for this

Top 10 things you WISH you could say to your borrowers, but cant!

1.No, we don't really need all of your tax returns or bank statements ––just the random pages that you feel like sending.

2. It took you three weeks to get me your documents.I will need a little more than 5 minutes to get your docs out.

3. It’s a little hard to believe these tax liens and mortgage lates on your credit report are the first you are hearing of this.

4. At what point when I was talking about the importance of NOT moving money did you decide to pay off $20,000 in student loans?

5. Since you only have $6 worth of verifiable liquid assets, I will need an explanation regarding the four $3000 non‐payroll deposits. Right now, it looks like your collecting income from the meth lab in your rented garage.

6. Sure, take as long as you want to think about my offer of 4% with no points. In the meantime, I will ask the markets, (US and abroad) to suspend all trading until you decide.

7. Lets just say that if I ruled the world, I’d certainly loan you $417,000 without bothering to check your credit or verify your income!

8. Listen, there's been a red‐dot outbreak at my office. I’’ll have to call you back tomorrow.

9. Unfortunately, we just cannot use the $20,000 you have stored in your gun safe to cover the cash you're short to close.

10. After reviewing your tax returns……is your company hiring?

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Curtis Van Carter

Better Homes & Gardens Wine Country Group - Yountville, CA

Your Napa Valley Broker Extraordinaire

Greg

Thanks for the laugh. I bet more than a few of these are true. cheers cvc

Jun 23, 2012 04:00 AM

Chris Smith

Re/Max Chay Realty Inc., Brokerage - New Tecumseth, ON

South Simcoe, Caledon, King, Orangeville Real Esta

Ha Ha, Greg, I am sure we have all had our "thoughts" when dealing with people, buyers, sellers, and other agents...

Jun 23, 2012 04:02 AM

Greg Cook

Platinum Home Mortgage - Temecula, CA

Mortgage Consultant NMLS ID# 283159

Curtis, thanks for the comment. Most are true, some are exaggerations (but only a little). Not to point

fingers but we actually had a Realtor tell us we didn't need all the pages of the tax returns or bank statements.

Now that's something to LMAO

Chris thanks for stopping by. No doubt agents have their own top 10 list

Jun 23, 2012 04:44 AM

Mel Ahrens, MBA, Kelly Right Real Estate

Kelly Right Real Estate - Hood River, OR

Customized Choices for your Real Estate Needs

Ha, ha, ha, thanks for the much needed laugh this afternoon. I'll bet these thoughts pass through your mind countless times a day.

Gretchen

Jun 23, 2012 06:18 AM

Gretchen, thanks for the comment. Those comments and others not suitable for re-print.

Jun 23, 2012 06:56 AM

Sidney Kutchuk - Realty Works Temecula Kutchuk - Realty Works Temecula

Realty Works Temecula - Temecula, CA

Realty Works Temecula

Greg: A red dot break out? That's the first time I've heard that, maybe I can use that some day!!!

Jun 23, 2012 02:34 PM

Jane, thanks for stopping by. We never know when these things might come in handy

Jun 24, 2012 12:16 AM

The top 10 things your lender wishes he could say to your borrowers but can't

Top 10 things you WISH you could say to your borrowers, but cant!

1.No, we don't really need all of your tax returns or bank statements ––just the random pages that you feel like sending.

2. It took you three weeks to get me your documents.I will need a little more than 5 minutes to get your docs out.

3. It’s a little hard to believe these tax liens and mortgage lates on your credit report are the first you are hearing of this.

4. At what point when I was talking about the importance of NOT moving money did you decide to pay off $20,000 in student loans?

5. Since you only have $6 worth of verifiable liquid assets, I will need an explanation regarding the four $3000 non‐payroll deposits. Right now, it looks like your collecting income from the meth lab in your rented garage.

6. Sure, take as long as you want to think about my offer of 4% with no points. In the meantime, I will ask the markets, (US and abroad) to suspend all trading until you decide.

7. Lets just say that if I ruled the world, I’d certainly loan you $417,000 without bothering to check your credit or verify your income!

8. Listen, there's been a red‐dot outbreak at my office. I’’ll have to call you back tomorrow.

9. Unfortunately, we just cannot use the $20,000 you have stored in your gun safe to cover the cash you're short to close.

10. After reviewing your tax returns……is your company hiring?

Comments(7)

Greg Cook

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Top 10 things you WISH you could say to your borrowers, but cant! 1.No, we don't really need all of your tax returns or bank statements ––just the random pages that you feel like sending.

2. It took you three weeks to get me your documents.I will need a little more than 5 minutes to get your docs out.

3. It’s a little hard to believe these tax liens and mortgage lates on your credit report are the first you are hearing of this.

4. At what point when I was talking about the importance of NOT moving money did you decide to pay off $20,000 in student loans?

5. Since you only have $6 worth of verifiable liquid assets, I will need an explanation regarding the four $3000 non‐payroll deposits. Right now, it looks like your collecting income from the meth lab in your rented garage.

6. Sure, take as long as you want to think about my offer of 4% with no points. In the meantime, I will ask the markets, (US and abroad) to suspend all trading until you decide.

7. Lets just say that if I ruled the world, I’d certainly loan you $417,000 without bothering to check your credit or verify your income!

8. Listen, there's been a red‐dot outbreak at my office. I’’ll have to call you back tomorrow.

9. Unfortunately, we just cannot use the $20,000 you have stored in your gun safe to cover the cash you're short to close.

10. After reviewing your tax returns……is your company hiring?

Comments(7)

Greg Cook

Service Areas

Real Estate Resources

Recent Posts

Additional Information

Top 10 things you WISH you could say to your borrowers, but cant!

1.No, we don't really need all of your tax returns or bank statements ––just the random pages that you feel like sending.