Let us enjoy the weekend everyone. Here are some funny jokes that I hope will make your day.
The captain of the Titanic gathers his passengers and tells them:
“I have some news for you: one is bad and one is good. Which one do you want to hear first?”
“The bad one!”
“In the next couple of hours the ship will break in two and sink!”
“And what about the good news?”
“We’ll get 11 Oscars for that!”
A guy talks to his friend:
“You know, I got really unlucky with both of my wives!”
“How so?”
“Well the first one ran way with my neighbor!”
“And what about the second one?”
“She didn’t!!!”
Employee to boss:
My wife wants me to take a holiday tomorrow since the attic, the garage and the garden has to be cleaned.
Boss: Sorry I cannot give you a holiday tomorrow.
Employee: Thanks boss, I knew you would help me.
A king offered half his kingdom or a 1000 kilos of gold or his daughter's hand in marriage if any brave man could cross a river full of poisonous snakes and crocodiles.
No one voluntered but one young man jumped in to the river and crossed it without any difficulty.
The king asked:
"What do you want brave man, half of my kinddom?"
The man said: "No your majesty"
King: "Then the 1000 kilos of gold?"
Man: "No your majesty"
King: "Then my daughter's hand in marriage?"
Man: "No your majesty"
King: "Then what is it that you want?"
Man: "The name of the person who pushed me in the river".
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