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And that's when the fight started... Start your week with a smile

By
Real Estate Agent with AllMountainRealty.com

I think every one is equally offended in this joke off email I received from a friend. Of the thousnads of things like this I get every year there may be 1 or 2 I pass around. This is one of them.

 

 

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.

The next year, I didn't buy her a gift

When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

 

…and that's when the fight started.

 
 

My wife and I were watching Who Wants to Be a Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'

'No,' she answered.

 

I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes.'

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

 

…and that's when the fight started.

 
 

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the steak, rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

 

"Nah, she can order for herself."

 
 

…and that's when the fight started.

 
 

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at
a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. I asked her, "Do you know him?"

"Yes", she sighed, "he's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those
many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

 
 

…and that's when the fight started.

 
 

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, "What's on TV?"

 

I said, "Dust."

 
 

…and that's when the fight started.


Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I
hooked up the boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was

blowing 50mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's
back; now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

 

My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

 
 

…and that's when the fight started.

 
 

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.

"I bought her a bathroom scale.

 
 

…and that's when the fight started.

 

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.

I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very
sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

 

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security
application.

 

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She
said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too.'

 

…and that's when the fight started.

 
 

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible.

 

I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

 

…and that's when the fight started.

 


I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!

He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!'

So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'

 
 

…and that's when the fight started.

 
 
 
Posted by

****************************************************************************************

Charlie Ragonesi All Mountain Realty Big Canoe and Mountain Blog

On line at www.allmountainrealty.com Call at 706 579 1098

We sell Homes                                                    

 

Comments (9)

Erv Fleishman
Realty Associates - Boca Raton, FL
Luxury Prop Specialist Realty Associates

Stop the train Gracie.

Either you are single or will be. 

Love it.

Jul 15, 2012 11:41 PM
Jeffrey DiMuria 321.223.6253 Waves Realty
Waves Realty - Melbourne, FL
Florida Space Coast Homes

too funny. True story...back when I was married we went to Hawaii on our honeymoon....we were sitting on the beach and a beautiful girl walked by. I was caught checking her out and my then wife slapped me. I said...dont worry honey...you have twice the butt she does. I am not sure the rest of the honeymoon was much fun.

Jul 15, 2012 11:54 PM
Eileen Hsu
Douglas Elliman Real Estate - Manhattan, NY
LICENSED REAL ESTATE SALESPERSON

Those are some funny jokes, definitely worth sharing around. 

Jul 16, 2012 01:54 AM
Dale Bledsoe
Crown Key Realty - Tracy, CA
Realtor in Tracy, California

Some of those I hadn't heard before and really enjoyed. Can you imagine the reaction if any of these actually happened. The fight would definitely have been on. 

Jul 16, 2012 02:48 AM
House Hunt
HouseHunt.com - Huntington Beach, CA

I've heard all of these before and they are just as funny the second time around :-) Thanks for the laugh Charlie!

Jul 16, 2012 04:51 AM
Charles Stallions Real Estate Services
Charles Stallions Real Estate Services Inc - Gulf Breeze, FL
Buyers Agent 800-309-3414 Pace and Gulf Breeze,Fl.

Ah it is late at night and I am about to pee after reading this, thanks for the laugh.

Jul 16, 2012 02:01 PM
Suzanne McLaughlin
Sabinske & Associates, Inc. (Albertville, St. Michael) - Saint Michael, MN
Sabinske & Associates, Realtor

Chuckles all around, Charlie.  Those were great.  And, some I could actually use, I think......

Jul 17, 2012 06:28 AM
Jennifer Chiongbian
Specializing in all types of Manhattan apts & townhouses - Manhattan, NY
Real Estate Broker - NYC

LOL!  Thanks for the funny jokes.  Although my dad bequeathed me with a cemetery plot and I looked at him with complete bewilderment...

Jul 17, 2012 10:40 AM
Sharon Tara
Sharon Tara Transformations - Portsmouth, NH
Retired New Hampshire Home Stager

Hysterical!  I can relate to many of them far too well!

Jul 18, 2012 05:01 AM