I'm too pretty to go to jail.

Real Estate Agent with Coldwell Banker Residential

I pulled up in front of my client's apartment building this morning, and slid into the spot next to the fire hydrant on the congested one-way street.

I pulled out my cell phone, and texted him the message: "I'm here, parked out front", and settled in to wait for him to bring down that balance of earnest money check that I'd agreed to pick up from him, instead of having him run it into my office.

There was a fair amount of activity on the street for the early hour.  People were hustling about, a lady in what was clearly her pajamas, walking her dog.  A young couple jogging, some folks obviously making their way to the train, dressed for work. One of the "young ladie's" attire clearly indicated that her "office" was standing on corner somewhere.

And of course there was the ubiquitous white panel van, just sittin' there, minding it's own business, just across the street.

I started to check my e-mail on my phone, when a small nondescript black car pulled up on the passenger side, and the driver motioned for me to roll down my window.  I was a bit skeptical, until I realized it was my client... I wasn't expecting him to be in his car, I thought he'd just walk down to deliver the check.

I rolled down the passenger side window... We said our "Hellos", and suddenly he was passing me an envelope, through the open window, as we both looked suspiciously side-to-side. To the casual passerby, it was clearly a drug deal.  The two black cars with an envelope passing between them... and illicit exchange right?

I immediately thought of the ubiquitous panel van, if anyone had seen this exchange, they couldn't help but figure it was a drug deal.  I could see the headlines in tomorrow's paper.  "Local Realtor arrested in drug sting on north side". 

"Now", the officer says, as I squint into the bright lights "what was that $10,000 payment for, again?"

"It was just earnest money, officer.... I swear!"

"Do you have any proof of that?"

"Yes, I have the paperwork at the office, if you'll let me go get it"

"You're not going anywhere, Mr. Realtor-drug-dealer" says Señor bad-cop.  "You're not going anywhere."

I'm too pretty to go to jail.


Posted by

 ALAN MAY, Realtor®   
Specializing in Evanston Real Estate and North Shore Real Estate

Coldwell Banker Residential Real Estate, 1710 Central Street, Evanston, IL 60201
847.425.3779      Cell: 847.924.3313      Email: Almay@aol.com

Evanston Real Estate & North Shore Real Estate
Licensed in Illinois



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Alan May
Coldwell Banker Residential - Evanston, IL
Helping you find your way home.

Tammie - do you have to call it "pokey"?

Yolanda - truly.

Tanja - I know... "hey, the crooks are getting so blatant... I saw a drug money handoff right in broad daylight!"

Randi - I just can't go to jail.

Loreena - as we're dragged off to Tammie's "pokey"... "but I'm a Reeeeeaaalltorr!!"

Charles - hmmm... it just might have been.

Nancy - and it felt that way, too.

Jane - uh, oh... fortunately, nobody watches the news anymore.

Donna - I'm sure that Uncle Vinny was behind the whole thing.

Tim - sounds can be deceiving.

Richard - in prison, "standards" are far more loose.

Susan - maybe I can turn it into a new AR photo?

Chris Ann - that's assuming we buy your premise that you're "sane" now!?

Cindy - oh no... I can't be someone's beyotch!

Jul 18, 2012 08:06 AM #15
Liz Provo

Cash?????  Hope you gave him a receipt. LOL

Jul 18, 2012 09:44 AM #16
Tammy Emineth
Personal SEO - Website SEO and Real Estate Marketing - Marysville, WA
Content Marketer, SEO Teacher, Website Fixer

Whatever... you're just posting here as your cover up proof.. we know the truth...

Jul 18, 2012 09:58 AM #17
Tatyana Makarov
Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage - South Windsor, CT
Your Greater Hartford Area Realtor

Yep, Alan,

you can say all you want ... we know what you were doing. Have to look up tomorrow's newspaper :)


Jul 18, 2012 09:59 AM #18
Brian L. Sirota, Esq.
Bristar Realty (Realtor/Attorney) - Orange, CA
For Solutions: (714) 501-7660

Alan, thank goodness the white panel van was just Re/Max surveillance.  

I bet the house your client is buying is a dope deal....either that, or it's a bust!   ;)    Brian

Jul 18, 2012 10:01 AM #19
Brian L. Sirota, Esq.
Bristar Realty (Realtor/Attorney) - Orange, CA
For Solutions: (714) 501-7660

Oh Alan....I can't resist.   What's a Jailhouse going for these days?   B

Jul 18, 2012 10:06 AM #20
Brian L. Sirota, Esq.
Bristar Realty (Realtor/Attorney) - Orange, CA
For Solutions: (714) 501-7660

Seriously, I can't help myself.   You're now Illinois's Most Wanted Realtor!   B

Jul 18, 2012 10:13 AM #21
Doug Rogers
Bayou Properties - Alexandria, LA
Your Alexandria Louisiana Agent

Bet you would not be the first agent to spend the night in jail!

Jul 18, 2012 10:32 AM #22
Brenda Mullen
RE/MAX Access - Schertz, TX
Your San Antonio TX Real Estate Agent!!

That's too funny Alan.  It sure sounded like a drug deal lol :)! 

Jul 18, 2012 10:54 AM #23
Sussie Sutton
UTR Texas Realtors - Pearland, TX
UTR TEXAS Realtors - Rep for buyers and sellers.

Pssst! Alan! Do you have the stuff?

Jul 18, 2012 11:27 AM #24
Karen Feltman
Cedar Rapids/Iowa City, IA Lepic-Kroeger REALTORS - Cedar Rapids, IA
Relocation Specialist
Love it! As long as it wasn't cash, I think you are safe!
Jul 18, 2012 12:07 PM #25
Christine Smith
Buyers Brokers Only LLC - www.BuyersBrokersOnly.com - Canton, MA
Exclusive Buyer Agent & Attorney, Canton, MA

Alan...I'm glad to see you got away before the police got you!

Jul 18, 2012 12:50 PM #26
Alan May
Coldwell Banker Residential - Evanston, IL
Helping you find your way home.

Liz - who said anything about cash?

Tammy - don't blow my alibi.

Brian (3) - I like it... I think you tripped over my new ad campaign.

Doug - probably not.

Brenda - and it felt like one, too.

Sussie - shhh... I'm undercover.

Karen - it weren't... and I'm not on the way to the Carribean.

Christine - me, too.  I'm too pretty to go to jail.

Jul 18, 2012 01:03 PM #27
Nick T Pappas
Assoc. Broker/Broker ABR, CRS, SFR, e-Pro, @Homes Realty Group, @HomesBirmingham & Providence Property Mgmnt, LLC Hun... - Huntsville, AL
Madison & Huntsville Alabama Real Estate Resource
Alan, too bad for you...I understand Cook County is not a place for pretty boys :)
Jul 18, 2012 01:37 PM #28
Jeff Dowler, CRS
Solutions Real Estate - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude - Carlsbad


You actually still handle checks and cash? When I saw the first line I figured you were heading toward a parking ticket for being by the hydrant. Or don?t they do that in Evanston?


Jul 18, 2012 02:13 PM #29
Liz and Bill Spear
RE/MAX Elite 513.520.5305 www.LizTour.com - Mason, OH
RE/MAX Elite Warren County OH (Cincinnati/Dayton)

Alan, We've done a lot of things in real estate, but small unmarked bills in an envelope passed through a window isn't one of them :)

Jul 18, 2012 08:47 PM #30
Gay E. Rosen
Julia B. Fee Sotheby's International Realty - Larchmont, NY
As Real as Real Estate Gets!

ALan - so funny... many years ago I asked directions from a group of people and as one turned around - they were doing a drug deal... I sort of backstepped.. well... glad you weren't arrested - we would have missed you..

Jul 18, 2012 10:58 PM #31
Alan May
Coldwell Banker Residential - Evanston, IL
Helping you find your way home.

Nick - they're in short supply.

Jeff - oh... they do that at every opportunity!

Liz & Bill - the adrenaline rush alone...

Gay - did they cut you in?

Jul 18, 2012 11:45 PM #32
Steven Cook
No Longer Processing Mortgages. - Tacoma, WA

Alan -- very well written, to keep us moving through the blog.

Jul 21, 2012 01:51 AM #33
Alan May
Coldwell Banker Residential - Evanston, IL
Helping you find your way home.

Steven - why thank you, sir.

Jul 21, 2012 05:48 AM #34
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