Don't tear anyone's old valentine!

 Gary Woltal recently posted about respect, and included a poem to illustrate the point that looking at a grumpy old man doesn't tell you who that man really is, what he thinks and feels, and what his life has been like.

That poem and Gary's post reminds me of a poem that was in a book of poetry I had as a child called "Silver Pennies".  I loved that book and one of my favorite poems (and one that always brought me to tears) was "The Vinegar Man" by Ruth Comfort Mitchell.

Years later, when I read "To Kill a Mockingbird", I was reminded of that poem again and had to dig out my old poetry book to read it again, even though I just about had it memorized.  I thought I'd share it with you here.

The Vinegar Man
by Ruth Comfort Mitchell

The crazy old Vinegar Man is dead! He never had missed a day before!
Somebody went to his tumble-down shed by the Haunted House and forced the door.

There in the litter of his pungent pans,
the murky mess of his mixing place
Deep, sticky spiders and empty cans
with the same old frown on his sour old face.

Vinegar - Vinegar - Vinegar Man!
Face - us - and - chase - us - and - catch - if -you - can!
Pepper for a tongue! Pickle for a nose!

Stick a pin in him and vinegar flows!
Glare -at-us- swear -at-us- catch - if - you-can!
Ketchup - and - chow - chow - and -Vinegar -Man!

Nothing but recipes and worthless junk;
greasy old records of paid and due
But down in the depths of a battered trunk,
a queer, quaint Valentine torn in two?

Red hearts and arrows and silver lace,
and a prim, dim, ladylike script that said
"With dearest love, from Ellen to Ned!"

Steal - us - and - peel - us - and - drown - us -in - brine!
He pickles his heart in a valentine!
Vinegar for blood! Pepper for his tongue!
Stick a pin in him and
...once he was young!

Glare -at-us- swear -at-us- catch - if - you - can!
"With dearest love" to the Vinegar Man!

Dingy little books of profit and loss
(died about Saturday, so they say),
And a queer, quaint valentine torn across . . .

torn, but it never was thrown away!
"With dearest love from Ellen to Ned"

"Old Pepper Tongue! Pickles his heart in brine!"
The Vinegar Man is a long time dead:

he died when he tore his valentine.

When I read it now I think of my mother-in-law who died recently of a fall she experienced while suffering from Altzheimers.  She would sometimes be a bit snippy, but it was mostly due to her frustrations about not being able to think clearly.  And of my Uncle Freddie who died last year at age 92 - his body was all worn out and cancer took over, but his mind was sharp as a tack, yet people tended to sometimes talk to him as if he was a toddler.

We sometimes tour homes and are tempted to critique them pretty harshly, but we have to realize that people have lived their lives there and the items we want them to discard may be symbols of important happy or tragic events, things that make them feel like individuals with their own memories, thoughts, desires, and hopes.

Let's all strive to be sympathetic, understanding and kind when we are advising sellers to de-clutter and clean up their homes. 

And don't tear any old valentines!

*****

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***********
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Broker / Realtor

Susan Neal Fine Properties

Century 21 Noel David Realty
Fair Oaks, California

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