Ninety two contentious minutes into a 90 minute contest, the pitch is littered with casualties.  Spent forwards, midfielders and fullbacks slogging wearily through stoppage time.  Lungs seared from fruitless forays into the opposing half of the field, calves and hamstrings cramping from dehydration, members of both squads begin to look to the official for mercy.

Stop the game already, their eyes plead.  In their weakened states, they are satisfied with a draw.  Nil-nil.  No glory, but no shame either.  Just end this madness and take away the pain.

Not me.  I play this game to win.  Always.  Fighting through elbows and spikes-up challenges all afternoon, I await my chance.  That one bounce of the ball that will loose me.  A coiled spring, all I need is one step and I'm gone.  The jamoke trying to defend me does not have a prayer.  Just let the ball squirt free along this right sideline.  Just once.

And then it happens.

A poor touch by the center midfielder and the shining sphere of possibility bounces my way.  Twenty yards in front of me with no defender in sight, the ball urges speed into my heavy legs.  My shadow senses the moment, too.  It's a footrace.

Not feeling the handful of jersey being tugged from behind, ignoring the attempts to ensnare my feet, I rocket past my rival.  He might as well be dipped in lead and cast in stone.  Are my feet even touching the ground? 

By the time I reach my quarry, I've built a full head of steam.  The sweeper is running headlong towards me, but his is a fool's errand.  Lothar Matteus himself stands no chance at this very moment.  A quick juke to the left followed by a step-over to the right, and his legs are agape.  A deft touch of the ball through his wickets and I blow past his right shoulder to recollect what is mine.

I see the referee out of the corner of my eye, surprised into action.  He's glancing at his watch, but he knows there will be resolution before putting whistle to lips.  The linesman is galloping up his sideline in vain attempt to follow the action.  Forget it, old boy.  You will be a distant spectator to this penultimate play.

It's just me and the keeper.

Having utterly stonewalled my mates thus far, my foe is formidable.  Six foot four and full of muscles. 

I choose my angle of attack and approach at 3/4 speed.  All the while, competing voices in my head are shouting instructions: 

"Deke it past him low and hard! "

"Wait for him to go into his slide, then lift the ball over him!"

"Blow right past him and dribble the ball into the net!"

"Blast it into the upper 90!"

 

I ignore them all.  I have been here before, and my body knows what to do.  Years of practice guide me through the next three seconds.  The crowd disappears.  The field becomes the neighborhood park where I spent the weekends of my youth.  I see the orange cones staggered over the next ten yards and navigate them flawlessly.  Drawing my right leg back powerfully, I don't even look at the hard-charging goalie.

BOOM.

All of my remaining energy and force are transferred into the ball.  I know I've caught it well because I don't feel a thing as I strike through it.  Devoid of life and yielding to momentum, I fall forward with the shot.  I hear the shrill hiss as the ball charts a path to destiny.  Lifting my face from the ground to track its flight, I see it just nick the goalkeper's outstretched fingertip.  Enough to alter its path?  Hard to say.

And so I watch.  And I wait.

 

 

 

 

 

53 Comments on Negotiation

JAN
15
2008
109,608 Points 8 Featured Posts

Beehive soccer! I can just see you when you were five :) I bet you haven't changed a bit.

p.s. Elaine.. you can't use that song.  

11:25pm • #2
4 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor

Jennifer  How about this one?  It's what I was thinking when I was watching the game, but the video stinks.

 And I probably should have asked your permission before I called Paul little brother.  What say you?  And do you think he will mind?

11:36pm • #3
JAN
16
2008
191,254 Points 11 Featured Posts Outside Blog
How about no songs!!! He might start dancing instead of playing! :0)
12:34am • #4
1 Featured Post

Well, well, well.... we certainly are over our argh moment!!!  What a great story.... did it go in?

12:47am • #5
109,608 Points 8 Featured Posts

Elaine... you don't need my permission for that. He is kind of little brother-ish, so go for it! That's a perfect song! You crazy girl!!

Mana... Dancing and playing are the very same thing! 

12:50am • #6
650,947 Points 104 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Hit Router
Paul - Very interesting writing, I kept waiting for the part about how you got the deal done! Thinking real estate analogy. Katerina
12:53am • #7
231,181 Points 30 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog
My sister would dig the Eye of The Tiger reference, even if Bukaty doesn't, Elaine.  You will not find a bigger Rocky/Stallone  fan than my dear old sis, so you just earned that big sis status.  Mind if I tag along on your date at the movies?
1:00am • #8
231,181 Points 30 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog
The only thing that has changed is the hair and the attire, Jennifer.  Long, natural curls overwhelming an overmatched headband is the summary of my early days.  I should post a picture from my first year playing (5 years old), but I worry that the girls would all be jealous of that hair ;)
1:03am • #9
231,181 Points 30 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog
Elaine, that's a fine selection as well.  Since Jennifer has given it her seal of approval, you are free to call me little brother.  Seriously, I want to go to the movies.
1:04am • #10
231,181 Points 30 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog
Mana, I will commence with the shameless boasting now.  If you ever saw me play, you'd know that the two are one in the same.  I danced upon those green fields.
1:06am • #11
231,181 Points 30 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog
Martin, Arrgh! is well in the rearview, my good man.  As for the shot, I'm pretty sure it did ;)
1:07am • #12
231,181 Points 30 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog

You beat me to it, Jennifer!  Just told Mana that the game is a beautiful dance when played at a high level.

1:08am • #13
231,181 Points 30 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog
Hi Katerina, I left it as a metaphor.  I wanted to make the comparison to Real Estate and the art of negotiation in a subtle way.  Who among us hasn't launched that last minute salvo and held their breath while waiting to see if victory can be snatched from the jaws of defeat?  This was more about the process than the result.  Thanks for giving it a read.
1:11am • #14
658,482 Points 108 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog

Paul - I have two comments for you, one serious and one not-so-serious:

First, my serious comment:

This was a fine piece of writing, my friend.  You are indeed a talented wordsmith.  Whether this was about soccer or merely an allegory, it was an entertaining read.

Now, my real comment:

That's pretty freaky, Bowie.  Did the goalie just smile and give you a Vegemite sandwich?

 

1:13am • #15
231,181 Points 30 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog
You know I threw that line in just for you, Crouch.  Glad you caught it ;)
1:17am • #16
658,482 Points 108 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog
I can't miss any lyrics from 80's bands, especially those from Down Under.  By the way, I just emailed you something.
1:33am • #17
231,181 Points 30 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog
Just read your email, checking it out.
1:36am • #18
658,482 Points 108 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog
I would be very curious to see your take on that.  Email me if you get a chance.
1:39am • #19
271,088 Points 41 Featured Posts Outside Blog
PAUL - Is this your entry into the baseball contest that Danny is holding? It's a sure winner!  (LOL)
1:59am • #21
231,181 Points 30 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog
It should be, Adam.  Either that or my childhood music memory. 
2:01am • #22
658,482 Points 108 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog
Adam - You beat me to it.  I had the exact same joke in mind. 
2:01am • #23
231,181 Points 30 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog
And what the heck is Waldman doing up?  What freaking time is it in New York?
2:08am • #24
658,482 Points 108 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog
3:12 am now.  I was thinking it was probably insomnia.  Adam?
2:12am • #25
231,181 Points 30 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog
He's gone, Jason.  Check the group.  He's serial commenting all over the place.  Kissing more babies than a politician.
2:17am • #26
658,482 Points 108 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog
I like that - serial commenting.  I have done that a few times myself.  Thanks for your help with the other situation.  I was also sorely tempted to say something.
2:22am • #27
424,228 Points 59 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog

Paul:  Great edge-of-chair writing!  I, like Katerina, was anticipating the RE analogy and you to win the negotiating process!!

6:38am • #28
Paul, Wow. What writing. How you built the story all along, the crescendo. Well done. Just wonderfully crafted. I imagine you edited? I'm with Martin. Did the damn thing go in? The Missus says symbolism goes right over my literal head.
Blogger To Be Named Later
8:54am • #29
265,188 Points 59 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Sly & Slaybaugh.....now that's a combo!!!

You are a talented writer Slaybaugh, there's no doubt about that.

8:57am • #30
231,181 Points 30 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog
Debe, thank you!  Even though I didn't come out and say it, I won this round.
9:40am • #31
231,181 Points 30 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog

Andrew, I did edit it, but actually thought it could use a little more to be honest.  I rushed the process a bit. 

I highly doubt that symbolism or anything else goes over your head, but I'll humor you.  I picture the ball glancing off the crossbar with just enough backspin to skitter into the net.  You better believe that I won this bad boy!

9:43am • #32
231,181 Points 30 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog

Hey yo, Sardi.  Me and Rock have an upcoming tag-team rematch with Thunderlips. 

Thanks for the compliment, man.

9:46am • #33
241,887 Points 15 Featured Posts Outside Blog

wow, I have to say that I am very impressed, Paul! 

p.s.  You cannot go to the movies with Elaine - I will be there shooting spitballs at the back of her head everytime she tries to steal a kiss.

10:24am • #34
3 Featured Posts
Impressive writing Paul. It is enough to scare some into thinking they are in the wrong place until one stops to reflect on what was said and realize that the analogy fits in many of life's situations.
10:51am • #35
231,181 Points 30 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog
Thank you, Lisa.  Bummer about being aced out of the movies, though ;) 
10:54am • #36
231,181 Points 30 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog
Thanks, Judy.  You obviously saw the subtext.  Opportunity comes to those who search for it and pounce on it when they find it.  It's easy to yield when things look hopeless, but that is often when the best chances appear.
10:58am • #37
4 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor
Paul, don't listen to my evil twin -- she's just trouble waiting to happen.  Good thing she's so busy with her Mardi Gras balls or she'd be lobbing her virtual spitballs at all of us.  You are welcome at the movies as long as you behave and share your Red Vines.
11:15am • #38
231,181 Points 30 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog
Thank you, Elaine.  I only need one Red Vine to use as a straw for my Coke.  You can have the rest.  :)
11:29am • #39
265,188 Points 59 Featured Posts Outside Blog
Teaming against Thunderlips?  I may have to join old Terry Bollea to even things out:-)
12:01pm • #40
109,608 Points 8 Featured Posts
Who is this Thunderlips?
12:05pm • #41
231,181 Points 30 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog
  Thunderlips in the flesh, Jennifer.  AKA Hulk Hogan circa Rocky III. 
12:17pm • #43
5 Featured Posts
Hey Paul, when I play golf, I have a difficult time making it go in my "goal" I seem to get more yardage with my big bertha driver than using my foot too....must have different rules in AZ for golf...how far can you kick that ball....I'm up to about 160 yrds with a tail wind, and I don't know if a bunch of guys pulling on my jersey would help my shot...I would have to smack them with my putter, which is a bit bent already.... Iz there any peanut butter left?
1:17pm • #44
231,181 Points 30 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog
Mike, I must congratulate you.  With your comment, you have befuddled the king of befuddlement.  I have no idea what you are talking about, amigo!  :)
1:28pm • #45
5 Featured Posts
Glad to see you in  a better mood...I am sitting back in the auto shop again,   I am befuddled too...how far can you kick that ball...our courses have like par 3 and par 4's, if I had to kick it...the desert air must do funny things to that ball...maybe like the moon walk with the bouncy stuff
1:39pm • #46
231,181 Points 30 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog
I can kick it a mile, Mike. 
4:24pm • #47
195,045 Points 29 Featured Posts Outside Blog
MAN! I was so into that when I was reading that I forgot for a minute that it was YOUR moment and not mine. :-)
7:43pm • #48
231,181 Points 30 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog
No, that was your moment, too, Elizabeth.  Anyone who negotiates for a living can share in it.
8:08pm • #49
5 Featured Posts
I am more confused now than ever..with all that running, kicking, jersey pulling...you have time to negotiate...Must be some incredible hang time in Az...I really did like the story...I sense impending doom and then a happy triumpahnt finish, or is that just the first step ...Oh Paul...you are good
10:19pm • #50
JAN
17
2008
124,077 Points 13 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Ohhh it's that evil A.D.D thing in me that refuses to let me absorb this story...maybe that's why I flunked poetry....ok I never took poetry!  I still had to say hello and tell you I've missed you! HUGS!

1:38pm • #53

Leave a response…



(optional)
What does the graphic say?
 
Rainmaker_large

Paul Slaybaugh, Scottsdale AZ Real Estate

Scottsdale, AZ

More about me…

Realty Executives

Address: 10607 N. Hayden Rd 100, Scottsdale, AZ, 85260

Office Phone: (480) 948-9450

Cell Phone: (480) 220-2337

Email Me

See Scottsdale through the eyes of a native son!

Enter your email address to receive new blog post alerts:

Delivered by FeedBurner

website stats
visitor stats


Links

Archives

RSS 2.0 Feed for this blog

Find AZ real estate agents and Scottsdale real estate on ActiveRain.