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Have you ever noticed how our work in Real Estate is very much like parenting at times. It seems that all too often we are dealing with a petulant child. A person who will not listen to reason; a person who just wants what they want and they think it is your job and duty to give it to them. Like parenting we need to work with these petulant clients in a strong, and caring way. We need to let this person know that what they are asking is not possible, when it is. We need to help the client understand that their whims are not part of the process we call real estate. When we can do this in an authoritative way with love and kindness we sometimes can break through, sometimes not. As a parent I know my child is committed to me and will not go, as a Realtor® I don't have that same expectation that my client will stay. This difference is palpable and affects our bottom line. So what are we to do when a client makes unreasonable demands and refuses to listen? What do you do?
We who do real estate on a daily basis sometimes forget that our clients may only do it once or twice in a lifetime. It is their life and money on the line and they reallly do want to trust you, but we are not all worthy of that trust, are you? It is key to the success that you calmly and forcefully if need be let our clients know what is going to happen and what the outcome will be. When their desires are outside that realm it is our duty to explain it to them in a way that they understand. They really are children in this transaction. Children in the sense that they have done this rarely and this thing they have that they are trusting us with is their most important thing there is in there life.
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26 Comments on Real Estate and Parenting
What a perfect analogy... and like Wayne I wasn't sure about the chickens either but given time I'm sure I'll come up with a perfect reason for you including them... Have a fun day...
@Wayne I am choosing to not answer her "beyond the scope" needs and stick to what our real job is. Thanks for your note.
Thanks Marti, I appreciate your reading and choosing. It is an honor to have been so featured.
@ayne and Jean the thought occured to me because of the way the client was acting, thanks.
@Pam I appreciate your comment. The real difference is you can't send the client to their room, or can we? hehe.
@Richard and Beth. They are uncooked beer can chickens about to be grilled. My child's favorite meal. If you haven't tried them you should. Thanks for stopping by
Larry - it's what we have to do in order to maintain our own self-respect. Good for you! Suggested.
@Toni Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate you suggesting the post, I doubt if AR is going to put a post with two raw chicken picture as a feature, but I do appreciate the gesture.
Larry, I like your 'perfect' attitude...
" I am the adult here, I need to be the authority. I don't feel good, but I do know that is what a good parent would do."
Parenting is a great analogy...
Hi Larry, At least you had a great meal with your 2 favorite people. That makes the end of the week much better, I'm sure. Knowing when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em :), then never look back! That's a tough thing to do but the best advice there is. Have a great week!!!! Congrats on the feature!
I never thought of the client relationship this way, but you are so right. It's sheds a whole different light on the subject. And BTW... the chickens cracked me up! Thanks for the post.
Larry, this is a very good analogy. However, as you stated you have to know when to draw the line.
Very good post. I put all expectations on the table at the very beginning. If a client shows me at the beginning that they are going to be more than a handful or ask me to jump through hoops that are unrealistic, I cut it off right there. Congrats on the feature!
Some kids are higher maintenance at various stages of their life. Sellers, buyers, real estate deals with lawyers and bankers are like that too!
Larry,
Very well said. I have learned a long time ago that in the real estate process there can only be one person driving the bus. Some kids are too young to drive.
And in the same way that the process of raising children can drain you both physically and emotionally, so, too, can our clients.
It's funny----I've had several transactions where either my client Sellers or Buyers DID act like children. I wish I could make every deal come together and every seller a millionaire. Not going to happen. Great post and congratulations on the feature!
@Praful, thanks for your comment. The analogy came to me because I just wanted to spank the client. hehe.
@Ricki I don't look back too much. I am still stung by two people from TX who took great advantage of my skills for a long time, but even that fades with the busyness of success. Thanks for your support through the years.
@Kathleen, yes the chickens are ready for grilling. If you have never tried beer can chicken you are in for a treat. They do look like little people don't they?
@Michel, the line was drawn and the closing went without a hitch. Lucky me, lucky them.
@The Christian Team. I did put all my expectations on the table and she did answer my questions in the right way, problem was she was a moving target of expectations as she saw the results I was getting. She got greedy.
@Andrew, so true, there are diva's and golden retrievers in this world.
@Richard If I am not getting paid until we get there, I need to drive--plain and simple, I know the way.
@Jill Yes we are drained by clients and kids alike, but we are also enthused, joyful and compensated very well for the work. A bad day comes every once in a while. How you get up is the key to all success. Thanks for stopping by.
@Mary Kay. No, not all transactions are going to be great. In fact I can say with some credibility that all transactions will have some difficulty. Let's build our neighborhoods one good family after another.
And sometimes it isn't even our client. I've been dealing with an agent/owner (former owner, they sold to my client) who is really throwing tantrums, poor fellow. Ignoring is what you have to do somtimes, couldn't agree with you more.
Larry:
Clients can ask the most unreasonable things of us. If we explain in a clear reasonable manner that we will not do what they request, they should be satisfied.
@Carla, people who lack emotional maturity and focus come in all types, both client and agents. The issues are the same, someone must be an authority and I don't mean boss here, I mean someone needs to know exactly what needs to be done and express that in a calm manner to push the deal forward. Thanks for your comment.
@Evelyn Shoud be satisfied and are satisfied are two different things. I should be satisfied with one potatoe chip, but sometimes I am not. It is dealing with the extra wants and the disconnect with what is the proper way that makes it a challenge, don't you think? Thanks for your comment.