If you don't read the St Petersburg Times, chances are you are not familiar with Howard Troxler's editorials. I love to read them and this morning's editorial was well worth sharing!
If this is Tuesday, what do I stand for?
By HOWARD TROXLER
Published January 22, 2008
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(Note: None of this is true. Not literally, anyway.)
MIAMI
The Florida presidential primary was thrown into confusion Monday when one of the leading Republican candidates pledged at a Little Havana event to "throw all you people out of the country."
"No English, no stay-o in America," thundered front-running candidate Mitt Romney, setting off a near-riot on Calle Ocho as he sipped a Cuban coffee, wore a guayabera and delivered remarks via a Spanish interpreter.
Embarrassed campaign aides explained afterward that technicians apparently had failed to switch the candidate's South Carolina message with an updated statement of principles, which normally occurs every few hours.
"It's hard to keep up with this stuff," one Romney adviser admitted. "We've just about got the ex-pro-choice, ex-gay-marriage bugs out of the programming, but immigration has been tricky."
The Romney campaign was not the only one caught in the jarring South Carolina-to-Florida transition. Mike Huckabee arrived in Florida still draped in an oversized Confederate battle flag and began a speech with an attempted "yeeeeeh-hah!"
Even candidate John McCain, fresh from promising to close the borders, issued an amended statement adding the clause, "except for whomever it is that you people in Florida want me to let in."
Aides to Rudy Giuliani, meanwhile, admitted frustration at the candidate's slow pace of Florida pandering. "At least we have him nailed down on the anti-hurricane thing," one said.
The Fred Thompson campaign was asleep in a comfy chair and had no comment.
With just one week left before Florida's Jan. 29 primary, the Romney gaffe came on the same day he launched a new Spanish-language TV ad. (Note: That last part is true.)
The audience stirred uneasily as it became apparent the South Carolina message was still playing. After Romney repeated his expulsion pledge, boos erupted. Alarmed aides rushed to the stage and appeared to make adjustments to the rear of the candidate's head.
Resuming his remarks, Romney accused all of his opponents of being unqualified for public office because they had held public office.
Asked about his own tenure as governor of Massachusetts, he denied it. When shown a videotape of his inauguration, Romney said, "If I served as governor of Massachusetts, then I was wrong to do so, and I am big enough to admit it now."
On the Democratic side of the race, meanwhile, the ante was upped between front-runners Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, with each accusing the other of violating their campaign promise to continue to abuse and insult Florida until Feb. 5, except for taking Floridians' money.
In a show of unity, after their 2,432nd debate, the Democratic candidates agreed to stomp on a map of the state. Later they all shared a plane to Miami to raise money, even John Edwards, who denied reports that he had to whine until everybody else's parents made them bring him along.
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If I didn't insult your candidate enough, join me for a live chat today on TroxBlog and we can give it another go. From noon to 1 p.m. I'll be taking reader comments and questions. Look for TroxBlog under the "Blogs" menu on www.tampabay.com.
This makes me almost want to write in my own candidate .....wish my Father was alive, I would pencil him in!!!
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