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Do you mind if I take this call?

Today I had a midday cancellation. Not to worry, it was at my daughter's orthodontist orthodontia - no revenue lost, huge savings gained. I quickly came up with an important plan of action to fill this gift of time. One, go to the bank to straighten out that pesky password problem. Check. Stop for some carrot cake and tea. Check. Schedule the overdue oil change on my vehicle. Wow! My lucky day! Could I come right in?

As I pulled into the facility and parked my mud-covered SUV (I live off-road, really), full of signs and riders in the back, good shoes and paperwork in the front, I apologized to the attendant about the state of the vehicle. He laughed as he typed the service order and said they'd run it through the car wash for me. It was then that my phone rang.

I looked at the unfamiliar number and then at the service attendant and asked, "Do you mind if I take this call?" "No, go right ahead." I quickly got the individual's name and said I would call right back; I was in the midst of a transaction.

When I hung up, the service person looked at me with wonderment and said, "Thank you. NOBODY asks permission to do that anymore!" I was a little flustered by that remark and then realized all the times I was gestured at or sidelined by the ringing of a phone that must be answered RIGHT NOW. What has happened to common sense and simple manners?

Disregarding the person in the flesh for the unknown on the phone is just plain rude. If I am with a client when the phone rings, I usually just silence it. If it rings again immediately, then I ask permission to answer - it must be important. I feel the same way about call waiting. Have I lost deals because of a five minute delay or a call going to voicemail? Not that I know of. Will I lose the respect of the person I alienate by answering that ringing phone? Possibly. Just say no. Actually, don't say anything. Turn the ringer off, smile, apologize. It's going to be OK.

Posted by Susan Walters on 01/29/2008 11:21 PM

Comments (91)

time management, cell phones, common sense, manners, client respect, voicemail, call waiting

This post has been included in Michigan Information Washtenaw County, MI Information Ann Arbor, MI Information

91 Comments on Do you mind if I take this call?

JAN

2008

LOL and that's why I didn't answer immediately when you called today. Actually, I figured it was important the 3rd time. So I listed that house tonight, short sale and it can't be rented.

It's a tough call, I think my clients think it is wierd when I don't answer but then will they think it is wierd when I take time away from them....I usally try to silience my phone to a mtg. ring and work from there.

Sorry! Darn! But I think it was a no-go anyway, one problem being traded for another.

Have you noticed an increase in the signs at places you get coffee and other locations like that, that say basically they won't serve you if you are talking on the phone. And, why should they. They are giving you their undivided attention for a short period of time, you should be engaging with them. YOu never know where your next deal is coming from. Mine is the owner of the new Dunkin Donuts shop by my house.

Yes I have noticed that June, and also in my doctor and dental offices - I know that is about equipment most of the time. Once I did answer the phone in the dental chair when the dentist hadn't started any treatment but it was from my child's elementary school. That was usually a distress call! I apologized; she understood. Our daughters were in the same school/grade.

Susan,

You're following good phone etiquette when you ask if it's okay to take the call. I wish more people would be so courteous.

Sandy

Thanks Sandy, the golden rule rules!

Susan, very good reminder. I think it's always polite to acknowledge the person in front of you first by asking permission. Great post!

Colleen

One has to judge when to take the call and when it is ok to wait. But courtesy is always important.

cool, I remember something, I will make it a blog post. Good to see that miss manners is still alive

JAN

2008

It is such a shame that we have become such a cell phone society! Can we not do anything without being on the phone??

Great going! Respect shown for any individual will result in recognition and potentially a future transaction or referral!

Listing appointments-cell phone is off! period! That why they invented voice mail!

Funeral-Cell phone is off. I cant believe that I recently attended a funeral & during the memorial, a cell phone is ringing. I believe its disrespectful to the living as well as the dead!

Hi Susan, I appreciate the post as it produces some food for thought.

1. Is it EVER appropriate to take a call when you're engaged w/ a real life person?

2. Why is "my time" more valuable than theirs? i.e. shouldn't I wait and to my business on my time instead of theirs

For some reason I'm always a little tweaked when someone takes a call when I"m with them. It says to me, "This call that's coming in AFTER I started meeting with you is more important than what we have to accomplish." It is especially annoying when they take 5+ minutes to actually get something done while I sit and watch them.

As a caller, I'm COMPLETELY ok w/ getting voicemail. It is perplexing to me when people answer their phone and say, "I'm sorry, I'm in a meeting and I can't talk right now."

THEN WHY DID YOU ANSWER YOUR PHONE???????

I echo the old Christmas Song, "Let it Ring, Let it Ring, Let it Ring..."

Phones are annoying- cant live with them, cant live without them!!! People in person come FIRST!

I cringe when I see people on the phone in stores and restaurants. It isn't that I turn my phone off but I turn to vibrate and then return the call as soon as I leave the store. If I am on the phone when I get to my destination I stay in the car and finish the conversation. That's just me. I don't need to hear other people's conversations and they certainly don't need to hear mine. We went to the movies over the weekend with the huge "Please turn cell phones off" displayed across the screen. Five minutes into the movie - yep, someone's cell phone rings. AND THEY TALKED! Ggrrrr

I tend to put my phone on silent when I am with someone. I never thought about it when I am out and aobut. Thanks for the reminder!!

SUSAN

Etiquette is always appreciated! Good Form! Well Done. And you still got yoru oil changed and impressed someone in the process!

I don't answer the call if I am with a client. I usually answer for my husband but he and I have a system. If I am with a client and can't answer the phone, I will allow the phone to accept the call so he can hear I am with someone and then hang up. I will call him as soon as I am able. So far it has worked.

While I was visiting Japan, I noticed that everyone was text messaging on their phones and not talking. They consider it rude to hold a conversation on a cell phone in public places. Maybe we should take note. The worst offender of this is my partner, I try to lead by example, but it's not working...oh well.

Susan, great post! I get to the point where I just hate phones!! Mine is off on any appointment.

Last year I finished real estate classes and was preparing to go for my license exam. I was checking out different real estate companys, trying to decide where to go to work. I was in the middle of an interview when my cell phone rang. The broker told me "Go ahead, answer it." It was a personal call, nothing important.

And the broker invited me to come to work there anyway! I work with Towne Adams at Century 21 in Waco, Texas. He is the greatest!

We have voice mail and text messaging for a reason. I think if people would just use plain old fashioned common courtesy we would all benefit.

So many cell phone calls just don't need to be made or received at that specific instant. Much better to focus on the people in front of and around us instead of letting the phone run our schedules.

If I am with a client, the phone ringer goes off! The only time I will answer it is if I am waiting for the lender to call me back with specific instructions on how to proceed with their contract. I am amazed at the number of agents that can't seem to shut their phones off. If I were a client and my agent answered their cell phone while with me, I'd go somewhere else!!!

I think people get too caught up in technology that we forget the simple things. I have never been asked and I admit, I have rarely asked!

Thanks for all your comments! It seems we are pretty much all in agreement.

Brenda, I was at my nephew's wedding when someone's phone went off exactly when the priest was having the couple exchange vows!

Dennis, Regarding why someone answered the call just to say they can't talk, the flip side of that is receiving a call to say they'll get back to you later. Someone I know is "on a break" from her boyfriend since that was all he managed to do via communication - he wasn't getting back to her later and those calls were just irritating!

Allyson, True, I did get my oil changed but when the bad news about the brakes came with it, I asked the service person if he needed to buy of sell, I'd need a quick deal to finance it. He laughed, no deal - yet!

I have a pet peeve about this and love what you did.

Have you ever noticed that your phone will ALWAYS ring when you are checking out at a store? I used to try to do both things, but realized that is not fair to the person calling or the person who is helping me! If I don't have time to check out of the grocery store without ignoring my cell phone for 10 minutes, I am not living the kind of life I want to lead!

I am a big fan of the ignore button...don't you owe the person you are with the courtesy of your full attention?

And don't get me started on call-waiting! It always seems like people are hedging their bets that someone they would rather talk to will call. The phone company is always amazed when I make them take it off our bundled service. We have 4 cell phones in our house for goodness sake; we can be reached!

I have vowed to answer my phone when I can give the caller undivided attention (obviously there are exceptions) or, as you did, ask permission of the person you are with!

Thanks for the reminder

If i'm with a client or a fellow realtor i do ask if they mind and ialways get a yes. Now it's how long you stay on it with that person tells whether you think the person you're in front of is important to you. It is a case by case thing. You will be able to tell.

Good post. I try to keep my phone off when ever I'm with a client and at lunch.

Thanks, Chuck!

Holly, I too asked to take my call waiting out of our bundled services on our land line but since our cell phone reception is so poor at home I eventually asked for it back. Sometimes it was one of my kids calling about after school things/illness and the phone number was just showing the general school number - I needed to know what was up in those situations. I answer call waiting rarely - usually only to my office since I don't get a number if it is a forwarded call. If they don't leave voicemail....

Agreed, Robert, asking permission can be abused by a lengthy phone call interruption.

Susan...Great point. I, too, will not take calls when I am with a client. I explain to the client I am with that I'm sure they'll understand and appreciate the courtesy if I ever have to miss one of their calls.

Why's it so hard for everyone to follow the Golden Rule?

I'll admit it, I have faultered many times on that simple question

There are always exceptions, but having a plan and asking permission if you need to deviate from the plan seems to be acceptable to most people. The lesson I must now learn is to treat my family as well as my clients. :) I feel another post coming on!

MY comment is, "be when your at when your there"

If you are with someone, is the phone more important than that person you are looking at? Lets just be true to ourselves and do the right thing and lead the right direction. No matter who is in front of you, don't let anyone butt in and say excuse me...

be where your at when your there! Give that person 100% and you might get more out of it than you should of!

If it is important they will leave a message and we have caller ID

Dave, that is a message I try to remember at all times - if I am enjoying a meal, enjoy the meal, watching a video with kids, enjoy that, with a client, be with THAT client. Good point.

Sally, Yes, voicemail and caller ID, what would we do without them!

I too don't answer the phone when I am with clients...and this proved a point to a client of mine.

She had been complaining that I don't answer my phone...she would leave messages over this 4 month period that said...I guess you will call me back later...with a sad sigh.

So one day we are out looking at houses and my phone is ringing off the hook...different numbers so I knew nothing emergent from clients, kids or the hubby. I kept hitting ignore...then after the 4th time I said to my client....those folks are wondering why I am not answering the phone for them....it is because I am with you. So the next time you get my voice mail...say something like I hope your showing is going well...or when you are done with your other clients give me a call! She laughed...and no more sad, sighing voice messages from her!

Great post. Some folks talk on the phone all the time.

I think the person in front of you comes before the call. Leaving a message is a great thing so you can quickly get the answer they need when you call back. I would be wondering about someone who could answer every call, just what are they doing.

Elaine, I had a mother-in-law like that, God rest her soul.

Good point Karen, why ARE they always available? Maybe no one will work with them because they answer the phone every time it rings!

Good reminder post. We sometimes forget the value of someone else's time in consideration for our own!

We are need reminded on proper cell phone use! Remember before cell we actually had full conversations with folks?

I'm with you Susan, my phone has different rings for my family, which if I'm with a client I silence. if it rings 2nd time I know I must take it, but I always ask permission.

What about answering email or sending text messages while presenting an offer? I find it so annoying and rude.

What about answering email or sending text messages while presenting an offer? I find it so annoying and rude

Susan ... I totally agree. Every person needs to feel that they important. When you demonstrate that the time you're spending with a client at that moment is important by not interrupting to take another call, they will understand the next time they call and get the voice mail. Great post.

You and I think alike on this: if the phone rings and I'm with someone, it goes to voicemail. Nothing is ruder than interrupting one 'meeting' to start another. I used to tell folks that interviewed with me to ignore the phone if it rang-- that this was THEIR time to shine with me. It seemed to help them relax and know that I was committed to the process with them, not waiting for a better thing to come along and interrupt.

I couldn't agree more! I just left a listing appointment where I pointed out to the Sellers that when trying to reach me, leave a message if I don't answer, "Just as my phone has been off during our meeting, I always turn it off when I am with clients." They always reassure me that it's okay and they always remember that down the road when the DO have to leave a voice mail!

I love when I'm showing a $10M-plus home and the agent decides to take a call and talk so loudly our brains are rattling around our heads.

That pushes me RIGHT over the edge. I ask her to leave the room or go outside.

JAN

2008

Wow, what an observation. I will never again answer a phone when I'm out in public without asking permission. Our overly connected society has certainly lost some significant social graces. If no one else appreciates it, at least I will be setting an example for my children!

Thanks again for your comments everyone! Just one specific one I'd like to respond to - Kevin - $10M-plus! Just wondering what that would look like in Michigan, the land of short sales and foreclosures! It's getting better though....

P.S. Gail - answering emails and texting strike me as bad too, ignoring the here-and-now to go somewhere else, but at least it's mostly silent activity. I wouldn't do it.

FEB

2008

Totally, I had some dude, honk his horn with his elbow, while talking on the cell phone, then flip me off out his sun roof, as he cut me off into the Taco Bell Drive Thru? Whatever. He had a clean car. You have got class, that guy needed a ticket. Lance

Susan, thank you so very much for the wake up call! When I am with a customer, I never take calls. In fact I silence my phone so either of us is distracted. Answering the phone out of work time is another story, my phone is glued to my ear and I do answer it when I'm with others. Thanks again.

Wow! Of the many things wrong with that picture, Lance, the decision to go to Taco Bell may have been the worst!

Lynn, an oft-repeated quote in my office is, "People don't care what you know until they know that you care." Giving your full attention when you are with them is the first step.

FEB

2008

Susan, I couldn't agree more. I even try not to click from one call to another, if I can help it, preferring to focus my attention on one person.

Jackie, Not only is it rude to alienate the person at hand or on the phone (by answering call waiting), we really don't multi-task well, any of us. I blogged on that a while back, "Paper clips, pennies, and stars...." after a training session in our office.

FEB

2008

Hi Susan,
I like your attitude and I agree. People deserve you undivided attention.

FEB

2008

Great Post, where did we leave our manners

Susan, this is a great story and I'm so glad you told it! And you got featured girl!!! Way to go! Now I know what you like and we can go grap a cup of tea together and chat about all of this and NOT answer our phones for a half an hour! Woooo Hoooo! Congrats on the yellow star Susan.

Hi Susan, enjoyed reading your post. Missy was right...you are one of the Gems on Active Rain. :)

FEB

2008

Cynthia, I think we forget and have to re-educate ourselves sometimes, but we know when it feels wrong.

Brett, In the phone booth, I'm thinking....

Karen, Sometimes I "accidentally" leave my phone in the car in the garage when I come home at night and "forget" to go get it until mid-morning. Don't tell anyone!!

Thank you Lola, I have read your posts too, and we share the same Michigan "shifting market" so there is a bond indeed.

FEB

2008

Susan...Interesting post and comments.

If I am expecting a call that I really need to take, and that doesn't happen very often but it does happen, I tell whomever I'm with so they will understand if the call comes.

If I'm with a client I rarely take the call. However I must confess if I'm with a family member or a close friend and I think it is a business call or something important I will take it. In part that is why I carry a cell phone.

Hope I don't get to many raspberries for that confession.

Kathleen

Sadly, Kathleen, with my family members I do the same. Ditto with very close friends, some of whom I have does business with. They really do understand. I preface those instances with something like, "Maybe this is my million dollar call!" The adults don't mind but the teenagers sometimes do, particularly if in the end the call doesn't look like it will be bringing in a pile of money!

FEB

2008

Good for you, you did the right thing and hopefully will get some referrals in the future from your proper manors.

Thanks Todd, good things are happening. I couldn't be more pleased. :)

Great post, Susan!

Reminds me what happened last month...If the first time that person's phone rang during my great uncle's recent funeral was not rude enough, they did not turn it off, so the phone rang the second time...! Yes, there are times when it is best to wait to take the call. IF they really want to talk with you, they will leave a message, or call back. Good reminder about phone manners!

UNBELIEVABLE Nathan! One time can be forgiven, we all forget, but twice!!???

Great post! If my phone rings, like you I ask permission to check it. If I'm with clients, I mention that I will only pick up the call if it's my kids in need; I tell them that I do return calls promptly, but when they call me they may get my voicemail because I am with somebody...they don't mind. Nathan's post reminds me that just this past Sunday I was in a church for a memorial and saw a sign that said, "No cell phones, unless it is God calling." Cute. Cheers, Harley

FEB

2008

Harley, I can't remember if I commented above (too lazy to scroll...), but someone's cell phone rang at the very moment the vows were being exchanged at my nephew's wedding - they were mid-20's and had dated since age 16 - a big day indeed! All caught on tape.

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