I just posted to the other blog and this is my response: 

"It shows so much better now!

 Too bad the teen wasn't "on board" to the changes.  Sometimes it is difficult to get the adults to acknowledge the difference between spaces to live in and spaces to sell.  So, I guess it would be more difficult for the kids to be able to understand this concept."

You share a different light on the subject and that is.. the decision to stage needs to be a family decision.  It can't be just the wife deciding that staging is the way to go.  Everyone needs to understand and agree to the goal--  sell that home!

Marla - No, I didn't say that.  The parents pay the mortgage, it's their investment and responsibility.  Staging helps properties sell quickly and they should be staged, if possible. 

What I want families to understand is that they have to look out for their each other, we are hired hands.    That teenage girl had her space...well, I don't need to go there, her parents didn't think it through.  BUT, it was perpetuated when it was posted online, again, without being discussed with her.  And for what?

Jackie

Jackie,

Whenever we are working with families who are living in their home while it's being marketed we need to be sensitive to everyones needs and it doesn't matter if you are the Realtor or the stager.

If you can get everyone on board working as a team you're going to have a much easier time getting the house sold.  

Susan - Sensitivity and teamwork best describe the entire dynamic!  

Thank you for stopping in.  I appreciate it. 

Jackie

Hi Jackie,
I remember when I was a teenager that my room was my "safe haven".  I can only imagine how upset I would have been if my Mom had brought someone in who moved and/or took away my "stuff".  The teenage years are an emotional and difficult time.  In my opinion, staging of a teenagers room requires much conversation and understanding up front.  I think a meeting with the stager, parents and teenager might solve a lot of potential problems.  As always, communication is very important.

Jackie ~ I know how my daughter has always been about her room (and still is at soon-to-be 21!).  That was why I made the comment I did on the other post.  My daughter at the age of 2, (when we were moving from our first home) would stand in front of her bedroom door with her arms spread out, as if blocking people from going into her room and looking at it. 

Wow, my almost 18yr old daughter would KILL me!  You'd have to carefully remove each magazine picture taped up and cut off the tape and place in a box.  This would take 2-3 hrs alone in her room.  It's it wallpaper completely like this!!  I'd have to have her do it, if I so much a ruined 1 thing she'd cry.  This is years and years of work to her!  To me it close to "junk"! 

However the online pictures would be posted on myspace in no time with the caption see what my horrible mother did to me!!!  You know for the DRAMA! 

I will bring this point up to people with kids going forward! Thanks!

Becky

Cynthia - Right, it's that "safe haven" as you so wisely put it.  The stager certainly did his job very well and I get the sense it came as a shock to him as well, that she didn't know.  But, I wonder if anyone bothered to further ask her if she minded having her room used for marketing purposes on the web. We're back at that "safe haven".

Kathy - Hrrmmmm...let's think that through.  As if she didn't want anyone "looking at it".  

Becky - Ha!  Mine would have done it all herself, allowing no one to touch anything.  As for posting on My Space, the difference is she would have posted those photos and been able to control who saw them. 

Jackie

Great post, Jackie! I really felt for the girl in the other blog! When my ex and I were both really busy Realtors, I had someone come in and clean our house. When I first hired her and told my kids (teen and pre-teen, at the time) you would think I had sold all their things on eBay! They freaked at the idea of someone in their room moving things around. In fact, they agreed to clean their rooms themselves, rather than have a "stranger" in there every week! And photos on the internet...my daughter would need therapy for life!!!!

Jackie ~ No, she actually was trying to block people from going into her room!  I say "as if" because she was 2 years old at the time and people could see right over her little self, and of course, I had to move her out of the way.  But, I understand what you are saying in relation to the posting of the pictures.

Jackie -- I am right there with you on occupied before pictures.  I will only use if it's an example wth seller's permission if it helps show off a feature.  for example, highlighting a high ceiling, or a fireplace, etc.

great post!

I have my clients sign a photo release form but if it is specified that a client does not want a particular photo used in marketing material we should be respectful of their space, until it's sold, it is still their home.

Jackie, I hadn't thought about the posting of the pictures because I didn't even think about her seeing Activerain--I wouldn't have thought that she reads this although it's possible.  The room was definitely staged beautifully  but her parents should have told her they were going into 'her space' and staging.  It must have been a shock to come home and see that and I'm not quite sure why they wouldn't tell her; if it were me I would have absolutely told my children.

Jackie:

Having had five boys and 1 daughter...I remember all to well the battle to keep my home/s we were selling "showcase" ready..we moved about a total of five times when the kids were at varying teenage stages (a total of 13 so far in my married life)

Much of the reaction would be based on how they were emotionally handling the situation.  If they were excited about the new adventure then there was no ...pick-up this, why did you leave that...they were proactive in helping...

That being said, I probably would not highlight the teenagers room in photos unless it had an architectural feature that was distinctive...

Great topic for thought.

Jackie,

This is a touchy area and I'm so glad I read your blog today! I have a similar staging project scheduled. How important that the whole family is on board and advised. This is the kind of information I cover in my initial consultation and you've validated the importance of doing so.

Thank you for the reminder,

Marian Lake Walker, owner

Staged 2Gain, Inverness, Florida

Jackie ~ you have provided me with a lot to think about and remember.  Thank You!!  Ironically, my partner and I just completed one and are working on another redesign.  Of course we have our before photos and our photography release form signed and we are very proud of the work....however, I have hesitated in trying to decide to post and use just the after photos or before and after.  These people still live in their homes and the home is not for sale.  On the flip side, I realize using before and after shows a better visual impact......still not sure what to do, but thank you so much for your post.

Jackie:  Another very thoughtful post on a sensitive topic.  Generally, I feel a child's room is sacrosanct, unless it's a real hell-hole, painted black, or voodoo is taking place in there...

Since we had that conversation, I have not done any "before 'n' afters" of owner-occupieds.  Here's an "after", showing that we changed out the bedding, hung some art, and placed matching tables and lamps by the bed...the "before" would be dreary, and I don't want to hurt the homeowner.  Julie

Elaine - You do crack me up with the way you put things, LOL!  But, you're right!

Kathy - Oh, I know...but, she didn't know that.  Those little ones are so darned cute!  Thanks for stopping back in.

Karen - Yahoooooo!  Don't you just love it when you're convicted about something and you find out you're not the only one?

And of course I realize there are always exceptions to every rule...but, I'd like to allow my clients to an opportunity to help define the the shades of gray.

Stephanie - I'm sure your clients appreciate your sensitivity.  Thank you for stopping in.

Carole - You, I'm certain, would have told you children prior to having the stager in.  I'm sure her parents were acting in their family's best interest and I expect they now wish they had handled it differently...we all learn through situations like these - even stagers.

It's not about the teen seeing the photos.  This was her space and she again has no say. 

Jackie

Jackie:   You get kudos for bringing this subject to light!  Those precious teenage years are all about identity and expressing that identity.  Often, the most expression is seen in the bedroom design.  I'm glad that you are spreading awareness on this sensitive topic.  :)  Nice job!

Renee - Having bought and sold several homes, I know exactly what you mean - and my own children will tell you I am a bit obsessive, especially when selling our homes!

A beautiful after photo of a bedroom sets a wonderful frame for a potential home buyer to imagine their own children in that space. 

Marian - I'm glad the post validated what you already knew to be the right approach for your business.  Good luck with your staging project!

Tracy - Good luck with your decision.  I'm sure you'll do what you believe is best for your clients and for your business.

BTW, I do take and keep before photos.  I keep them for insurance purposes and to refer back to.  I just don't use them for marketing purposes.  My clients have all appreciated my company policy.

Julie- I love that bedroom!  You are too funny...unless voodoo is taking place in there, LOL!!! 

Jackie

Jackie:  I absolutely agree with what you say, having a photo that highlights a childs room is a great visual.  When doing vacant home staging and the home is condusive to children, we usually do a vignette to give the "feel" of what it could be.  I've not really done one that would feature a "teen" the closest I've come to imagine a teen living there is a media room with board games, fake guitar, pizza...not cluttered..but cute  

There is a presentation I give to Realtors where I have several photos that had been on MLS of children's rooms that would make you RUN to the nearest exit... 

Jackie, I agree whole heartedly.

When I read the blog my first thought was 'well no wonder she was upset'.

1. the parents absolutely showed her no respect what-so-ever by not informing her
2. someone touched her stuff! How humiliating for a teen to have someone anyone but especially a stranger and a man go through her things

This was immediately followed with my distress at a child (teen no diff) having their room posted on the internet.

I will not post photos of a childs room that is going on the market. After it is sold and they have moved is fine...but not before or during.

Thanks for posting Jackie. It is a subject many don't think of.

Jackie -- I wrote this post last week about marketing your work as it relates to Before and After pictures of occupied homes.  Don't know if you saw it but there is a good tie between your post here are the one I did.  If you didn't see it, check it out.  Thx!

http://activerain.com/blogsview/353887/A-Thousand-Words-Paint

There that's better!

Sounds like the parents have no respect for their teenager. To invite someone into the house, without some notification, is a real crime.

I always use before and after photos, on my website , for business purposes.  The example doesn't have an address so the average man won't know who's house it is.

Remeber, most of my houses are estates or empty and I still wouldn't want the family to know what I'm showing.

The stager should have had the courtesy not to show the before if he/she knew the child didn't prepare or the visit and received the teenagers permission.  They have rights too

Richard - I'm glad you found it valuable.  Thanks for stopping in!

Renee - I like staging with vignettes to bring a "feel" as well.  Thanks for stopping back in.

Dane - Exactly.  Unfortunately, this example brings up some of the issues stagers have to face when we stage occupied properties.

Karen - Thanks for the link, I hadn't seen it.  Can you make it live?

Virginia - I think vacants are different, because you do not have human emotions involved with the "befores"; instead you are helping to create an emotional connection. 

Hopefully, with feedback from the staging community, this example and others like it will prove to be a learning experience for every stager when we think of posting before photos of occupied properties.  Because we can, doesn't mean we should.

Thank you for taking the time to comment.

Jackie

Good thought provoking post.  Thanks for the reminder about these things.  We sometimes get tunnel vision on our piece and forget how this moving business affects the family.

Okay, so you've gotten me thinking and I went back to look at some of the befores and afters I've posted for public viewing. This is something I'll think about more, moving forward. Even if we get them to sign off on having us use their pictures for marketing purposes, you are right that we need to be sensitive to how some of our clients' would feel about having their most cluttery BEFORE spaces in plain sight for the world to see! 

Terrylynn - Thank you.  I'm not sure if it's due so much to tunnel vision or because it's the way things have always been done...maybe a bit of both.  In any case, provoking thought can only be a good thing, right?

Janis - I think it's great this post cause you to think about BEFORE photos and your clients.  Increased sensitivity with our clients can only be a good thing.  Thank you for commenting, I appreciate it.

Jackie

Yes, actually this is very serious. Especially with teens, whose friends are Internet Savvy, and might find them. Its just bad business to do this anyway. So many people are so into marketing, that they forget this. They exploit clients, and its not right. It happens in every industry, and it shouldn't happen at all; without permission. In this case analysis it is quite a serious issue with teens. Lance

Jackie,

I think anyone would feel that their privacy had been invaded without prior knowledge of it being done. She may not have liked it but..... the girl should have had the opportunity to clean up her mess and put away "for her eyes only" things. Great post!!!

Jackie - Thats an unfortunate situation. Parents are always demanding respect from their kids yet sometimes they don't show it back in situations where they should. A teenagers possesions should not be rifled through by an outsider.

Teens are people too and deserve respect as anyone else. Their rooms are their space and they need to be talked to and talked with

Teens are people too and deserve respect as anyone else. Their rooms are their space and they need to be talked to and talked with

There might be 2 sides to this story -- we have zero idea about the people involved in this particular story - but to defend parents in general, what are the parents to do if the teenager or child is not interested, or unwilling to help the family get the home staged and sold. Many kids do not want to move at all. A parent has to do what a parent had to do to decide to move or not, stage or not ... and hopefully the kids will get on board, but if not, they will likely be upset.

Lots of good points here.  I think one must be very careful these days not to put children in harms way.  I think there is a lot of good discussion generated here.  Good to have all family members involved and comfortable with what is being proposed.

Lance - Whew...you used a loaded word there, exploit; but that's exactly how I see using BEFORE photos of occupied properties.  Just my opinion, of course.  Thanks for stopping in.

Penny - Yes and I have to wonder if her parents had thought through exactly what that photo marketing release would mean to her in addition to the poor choice they had already made.  Thank you for commenting.

Bill - We agree on that!  At least not without prior permission being given by the teen.

Richard - Yes, Sir.  Thanks for stopping in.

Bob & Carolin - I am in complete agreement with you and said so in my very first comment of this post to Marla.  However, I do not see a need to use those BEFORE photos for marketing purposes, especially considering the circumstances. 

Thank you for your comment, you've brought up a great point!

Jackie

Joan- I must admit, it's not always easy getting buy-in on having the teen agree to have their room staged.  A thorough cleaning and de-cluttering is a great start though! LOL!  Thanks for stopping in.

Jackie

jackie

You are absolutely right. i experienced the same with a twin teen last year..................they felt so greedy about the work we've done. Good for you to share this story with us,

Jackie ~ Excellent post reminding us to be sensitive to our clients and their families.  My policy on occupied homes is that I don't post Before photos while the family still lives in the home -- and only post Afters with their written permission. I was shocked earlier today when I saw that other blog that inspired you to write this post.  If I'd been that stager, once I realized how upset the teenager was about the staging, I would not have posted online photos.  (If that had happened to me when I was a teenager, I'd have flipped out.)

You raise a great point Jackie. Teens are super sensitive to their space and stuff. I know it probably wasn't intentional but it wasn't taking into the consideration the feelings of this child to not bring them on board with the project.  Thanks for spelling it out so well.

Congrats on the well deserved featured post too.

Hi Jackie,

I can only imagine how upset this teen must have been, I like that you have adopted a policy to protect. Great post and congrats on your feature! :)

Jackie, wow! I would never have dreamed of changing my teen's rooms without their complete involvement.  I certainly would never want that done for me! Very interesting. Hadn't thought about this before. I do love - though - before and after photos.

You're absolutely right. You have to get the teens on board or their rooms won't stay staged for long.

Teens are the hard ones. The little ones love it when we come in and turn their room into magic. The teens can't be bothered with mom and dad let alone a stager who wants them to be tidy for months! great blog.

Great post.  Something that should be considered.  Thanks for bringing it to our attention.

Great post.  Something that should be considered.  Thanks for bringing it to our attention.

OKAY I GET IT !!!  to be honest I never thought of that! I posted it thinking more of how this would benefit all of us stagers , its posted for members only for the intention of a lesson to learn and as soon as I finish this comment I will delete it. It is not my company's intention nor will it ever be to harm anyone by posting something so personal. I guess there is always a lesson to be learn here and hopefully something positive will come out of this. Did not mean to ruffle anyones feathers :)

I think it is alright to post before photos if you have the homeowners consent.  I inform my clients of the possibility of using photos that I have taken.  I also have them sign a Photo Release Form allowing me to use the photos for 1) educational purposes, 2) online postings, and 3) advertising.

As long as we use photos (before and after) in a positive, professional, and respectful manner that does NOT embarrass the homeowner or give away any personal information, I am all for it.

Thank you for bringing this issue to light.  I cringe at some postings that complain about this client or that room.  We need to consider that those clients may see our blogs. 

Wow. I know it would not have gone well if my parents allowed a stager into my room. It would have ruined or ended my teenage life....lol.

Maria - Thank you for stopping in to comment.

Maureen - It seems you've implemented a policy similar to my own company's policy and further, it doesn't seem we're alone...great news for home sellers of occupied homes, don't you think?

Karen - I agree with you :)  Thank you for stopping in and your kind comments.

Suzanne - Thank you.

Teri - I know many enjoy looking at Before and After photos, but is there a way we can accomplish meeting that need without infringing on someone elses privacy and while protecting our clients integrity?

Thanks for stopping in.

Kevin & Monica - I couldn't agree more.

Kym - It sure seems that way sometimes, doesn't it?!

Diane - Taking each clients situation into consideration, individually, would be a great start.  Thank you for popping in.

Jackie

Fernando - I am absolutely certain you would not mean any intentional harm to a client of yours. 

I believe that you staged "by the books", as you were hired to do, in staging that teens room and did a superb job.  The circumstances were unfortunate for both the teen and for you. 

I wonder if stagers would be brave enough to post many of those BEFORE photos if the posts were not "members only".  And, I wonder how many of their clients would agree to sign the PHOTO Release if they truly understood the full ramifications of what that might mean to them. 

No ruffled feathers, Fernando...you are much too admired, at least from my perspective! 

Jackie

Kristina - I was tempted to just cut and paste your entire comment; instead I'll just say this...

Please read Kristina's comment if you are going to use BEFORE photos.

Thank you for stopping in.

Christy - And y'all in Real Estate thought we had an easy job, I bet, didn't you? ;)

Thanks for popping in and commenting.

Jackie

Hi Jackie,

Thanks for sharing this. When I work with home sellers that have tweens and teens I go to the home and do a consult first. When it comes to the kids rooms I tell them that the teen has to select 3 items per surface of their choice- for example lamp, framed photo and trophy on the dresser. Alarm clock, book and phone for the bedside table etc. Remove posters and keep framed art only. After that we then can talk about the best way to arrange the space.

This way the room is decluttered and depersonalized but we have not intruded and invaded on their space. Would it look the same if I staged it? No- but it still makes the room feel less personal and more spacious.

I decided to implement this plan after discovering a 2 foot bong in one boys closet and sex paraphernalia in the drawer of a 13 year old girl! I decided that I did not WANT to stage teens rooms and they needed to clean up their own messes and deal with whatever else is lurking there! Not all teens rooms are like this but once I decided enough was enough and they could take ownership of their own spaces. KH

Jackie,

What a great topic!

I would certainly hope the parents warn the tween that someone will be coming to their room to stage it to sell.

I know I would be pretty mad if I wasn't told, and seen someone moving my things back then. But they have to remember who pays the bills and why.

I remember telling my friends back in the day, ok well I'm heading to my house, when in all reality i was heading to my parents house in which i lived in;)

So again i hope the parents tell the kids first, i certainly from a stagers stand point don't want to find any ones personals while moving furniture around. you don't want to know what we have found in the past, and for a kid it would be really uncomfortable.

This may be off topic a bit, but I plan on using a technique i seen that removes all doors from you children's rooms until they are old enough and mature enough to have them. The same goes for the computers in the house, they will remain in a family area, you have no idea how may kids now a days are harassed in chat rooms they should not be in.

This comes from someone who don't have children yet, but 2 niece's who spend plenty of time at uncle Brian's house that i share with my fiance.

Again good post,

Regards

BB 

Brian I had thought about using that door removal technique but to be honest it would be more painful for me. I would have to endure the loud music, guitar playing, messy cluttered look. I enjoy having my kids go up in their rooms and shut the door as much or more than they do. Sometimes when it comes to discipline you have to be really careful you don't make things more miserable for the parents.....LOL (Just a heads up for if and when you have kids)

I am going to be selling my home shortly and my kids know that I will be staging their rooms. I would never invade their privacy and go thru their stuff without them being there to help. But it must be done. My son has a room which is about 9x9 and he has a huge La-Z-Boy chair stuffed in there. He had to climb over it to get to the bed. If I post pictures I will be very respectful of their privacy, and make sure there are no identifying items laying around.

Good post, it has made me aware that I need to be more respectful of the homeowners privacy and always ask for permission before using photos. Also the comment about 'members only' blogs. Be aware, clients have access to the internet and activerain. This is a good lesson on being careful about what you post.

Whew!!! I had a lot to say. :)

Kate - I like the way you deal with these situations!  There is much to be learned in your comment for everyone. 

Brian - I appreciate your comments.  Thank you for stopping in.

Kathy - Good luck with staging and selling your home!

Jackie

This is a very good post Jackie.  As stagers, we need to be sensitive to all members of the family and every situation might need special consideration.  I truly believe staging is a family affair since it affects everyone.

Karen - Thank you.  You are right on with saying some situations need special considerations and of course staging does affect everyone in the family...I wonder why that is sometimes overlooked? 

Thanks for stopping in.

Jackie

Staging occupied homes is a sensitive job....I always tell my clients that they need to remove all pictures of their children so that visitors will not know what their children look like. Just in case we have an unwelcome visitor.

B. - Agreed, it is a sensitive job!  As for photos of children remaining in the home, that's another topic that goes round and round.  Some say yes; some, no.

Thanks for stopping in.

Jackie

You make a very good point that I hadn't considered.  But I do love those before/after photos, and they are my best shot at getting a seller to see the importance of staging.  I wonder if part of your agreement might include a paragraph the owner could initial that it __is  __is not   okay to publish before/after photos in your marketing materials, including online.  At least that way, the topic could be addressed up front.

Margaret - You've offered an excellent suggestion for any that might be wondering how to tackle this subject with their own clients. 

Jackie