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The Top 20 Things I learned from my Children

By
Title Insurance with Family Abstract, Inc.

As a partner in Family Abstract, my role has always been street smarts and my partners book smarts. We make the perfect combination, but the wisdom that I have culled from our kids in the last 22 years is beyond reproach and not available any where else! For a funnyThursday blog post, I offer my top 20 24 list, Enjoy and PLEASE have a great day!

kids1

For those with no children - this is totally hysterical...

For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.

For those who have children this age, this is not funny.

For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.

For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control...





1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house, 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. kids2

3. A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.


4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all Four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.


5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.


6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.kids3

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh" it's already too late.


8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.


9. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.


10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.


11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.


12. Super glue is forever. kids4


13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.


14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.


15. DVD's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens. kids5

20. The fire department in Dresher, Pa has a 5-minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

All right, sue me, I came up with 24, I was really just trying to see if you were paying attention. Just like when I have been asking for a the honor and privilege of doing your clients title insurance through Family Abstract. Have a great day! ============================================================================  

Posted by

About Family Abstract, Inc.

Established in 2002, Family Abstract, Inc. provides Title Insurance to clients and customers throughout Florida, Maryland, New Jersey and Pennsylvania with more than 40 years of combined experience in management alone. We pride ourselves on retaining the most skilled and knowledgeable employees who share our goals of providing the best service in the industry.

Located in Horsham, Pennsylvania, Family Abstract, Inc. maintains an extensive network of skilled title insurance abstractors in all the states we service in addition to a nationwide network of qualified closing agents who are available to close loans at any location.

Backed by the strength of four title insurance underwriters, we are able to provide expert attention to detail without sacrificing versatility in the closing process, thus providing more options in difficult title situations. Due to our depth of industry knowledge and commitment to excellent service, Family Abstract, Inc. has been able to develop client relationships that have endured for decades.

Having successfully settled and insured thousands of transactions, we have already earned the trust and confidence of hundreds of customers, lenders, brokers, and realtors and now we would like to share our expertise with you!

Comments (6)

Steven Cook
No Longer Processing Mortgages. - Tacoma, WA

Glenn -- some very interesting things - many to remind grandparents of what they need to watch for when babysitting the cute kids.  And I think #24 is probably pretty close to right.

Feb 27, 2013 03:03 AM
Glenn Freezman
Family Abstract, Inc. - Horsham, PA

Steven, did you do the project yet? 

Feb 27, 2013 03:19 AM
John McCormack, CRS
Albuquerque Homes Realty - Albuquerque, NM
Honesty, Integrity, Results, Experienced. HIRE Me!

Oh yeah!  I never had kids but Debbie has adult twin daughters so we get to do a lot of laughing at the stories the twins call screaming about between their 5 kids.... We're glad we live 1400 miles away many days... ROFL.

Feb 27, 2013 04:02 AM
Joanna Cohlan
Fresh Eyes For Your Home - Chappaqua, NY
Designing, Decorating & Staging Westchester Homes

OH BOY GLEN, #10 brings back really scary memories for me-my son Marcus seemed to think that Legos were like chocolate.  Now we have my stepdaughter's son Isaac and I decided that the first really great thing I get him is a tricycle-he definitely can not fit it down his throat!

Feb 27, 2013 05:17 AM
Roger D. Mucci
Shaken...with a Twist 216.633.2092 - Euclid, OH
Lets shake things up at your home today!

Feb 27, 2013 07:48 AM
Carla Harbert
Full Time REALTOR in Ohio - Brunswick, OH
RE/MAX Omega, Brunswick Ohio

Glen, you really brought back some memories of raising 3 boys, lol. Loved the post!

Feb 27, 2013 09:13 AM