Do you like to be heard? I mean really heard when you know the client you’re talking to gets what you’re saying and understands you? Me too!
Reflective listening is a step beyond active listening. Not only does the listener stay engaged and attentive while the speaker is speaking, afterwards they reflect what they heard.
Reflecting at its simplest is saying back to the speaker what you just heard and understood from their words. At a slightly deeper level it involves making empathetic guesses about what the listener thinks is going on for the speaker. At any level it involves humility and honesty.
Reflective listening requires vulnerability. Just say what you heard. That’s it. No more. No less. Then ask the client if you got it, if that’s what they wanted you to understand, and is there more?.
Delay your own gratification. Most of us when we’re listening to someone have a substantial part of our own attention on what we’re going to say next. Our plans, thoughts, actions want to jump out. We’re simply at times preoccupied with our own ideas. Reflective listening asks you to delay your own gratification and reflect the attention back to the speaker. It simply communication respect and acceptance of that client.
Try to be a reflective listener on those meetings with clients and see how much more you will see that client feel respected and more responsive and motivated in working with you.
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