A 10-step plan for disposing of aging parents' possessions when selling their home

When Aging Parents Sell Their Home

Many of us have been through this process with our aging parents or an elderly friend.  They  want to know how to sell their home and downsize or move to a senior-living community, with no stress.  And often, much of the stress for an elderly person selling their home and moving is related to disposal of a lifetime of collected possessions.

We have found that if we can reduce the stress of disposing of these lifetime collections and possessions, and admit that many half-finished projects in the basement will never be completed, then the entire stress level goes down substantially for the overall process of selling their home.  It isn't just about getting rid of 'stuff.'  Every little piece of stuff that goes out the door is tied to some special family moment or ceremonial event or proud accomplishment.  It can hurt, really hurt, deeply with an emptiness in the gut to see the wake left behind by one's life trickle out the door with these hundreds of possessions.

But it doesn't have to be that way.

There Really IS a Low-Stress Way to Sell a Home and Dispose of Personal Possessions

Other blogs I've written here, and a book now in development, deal with the larger picture of achieving low-stress household moves.  But for now let's focus on the stresses of disposing of "the hoard."

Here is the top-secret to low-stress:  Break it up into phases.  Take it one step at a time.  Here are the steps I often help my elderly clients with when disposing of possessions:

  1- Label the Keepers:  Put a label on those items to be moved to the new home, and where it will be placed.  (It is crucial to pre-plan and label where each item will go. Otherwise, you'll wind up with three carloads of items to store in the small hall closet.)

  2- Family Gifts:  Schedule a day for your family to come through privately and remove what they want.  The key is remove.  Not claim.  "Remove-it or lose-it."

  3- Moving Sale:  Just like a garage sale.  Some professional move managers will advise to keep the valuable things for this sale, to help lure more buyers.  I generally disagree...get rid of every item as soon as practical.  The difference between the worst and best ways to dispose of all that 'stuff' in the basement, in the bottoms of the closets, in the back of the pantry, on the plywood in the attic, is not worth the stress.  A year after you or your aging parents move to your new home, the money made (or not) from different disposal methods won't matter that much.  Any time you can get something out the door without offending the neighbors, do it!

  4- Donation:  Call the Boys Club, or whatever philanthropy in your area provides free pickup, and ask them to come-n-get-it.  Beg them to take even some low-value items.  Just try to get it out the door.

  5- Auction:  If there is anything left, have a local auctioneer come by to examine the inventory.  You're not going to make much money, if anything.  The point is to use the auctioneer to ease your conscience that at least somebody is going to benefit from your stuff, versus pitching it in the trash.  The auctioneer I work with will come pick it up, store it in a warehouse until he can merge it with a larger auction at his site.  

  6- Refuse Collector:  Get the name of a mom-n-pop trash pickup service from friends or the bulletin board at the Senior Center.  Tell them to take everything they can sweep into a dustpan and larger.

  7- Painting:  Fill the nail holes from picture hooks, paint the interior walls.

  8- House Cleaner:  I urge you to get help.  Yes, you can do it.  But you're too busy physically moving in to the new home, and mentally adjusting to new neighbors.  Every Senior Center has little advertisements on their bulleting board from home cleaners.

  9- Show-ready Check:  Have your Seniors Real Estate Specialist examine the home to see if it is ready to sell.  

 10- Staging:  Ask your Seniors Real Estate Specialist if it would pay off to invest in "staging" the home.  (Out West here in ranching territory, we sometimes call it "grooming.")  Sometimes, for some homes, the cost of paid staging services is less than what it will save you in list-price reductions.

The whole process goes a bit smoother if you go through at the beginning with some sheets of those 1" colored adhesive dots.  Yellow for Keepers.  Green for auction, etc.  

What I have found so interesting is that this process not only breaks up the physical chore into manageable chunks.  It also helps bring some relaxation to the owner that things are orderly, under control, that things we value are going to the people who will value them most.  That seems to be the key...Arrange for our prized possessions to go to people who will value them most.  It's not about the money.  It's about the intrinsic value to us being transferred to someone else.

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