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What Happened to Win-Win?

By Debbie Reynolds, C21 Platinum Properties

Managing Real Estate Broker with Platinum Properties- (931)771-9070 TN Broker: 208698

May 10, 2013 04:09 AM

What Happened to Win-Win? Our society has changed so much. Many feel like they deserve more than the rest. In real estate transactions, sellers feel like they do all the giving. Buyers feel like they are giving up more than they should. What happened to Win-Win?

When I got into real estate in 1980 I was told that the goal in the sale was to have a Win-Win. Every party needed to feel like they were treated fairly and the buyer and seller both needed to come to middle ground for a mutual satisfaction. It seems it was the way it was most of the time back then.

Over the years something changed. Buyers started getting more and more advice from outside sources. Buyers started feeling more entitled, it was their way or no way. Sellers were faced with if you want to sell your house to this buyer you will have to do it their way. Or if I can't get the price I have in my mind then I won't sell. I have seen deals fall through over $500 stalemates. If one bends to the other's demands, they still aren't happy.

The really sad part is that sometimes at the closing both sides feel like they gave up too much so neither is happy. How do we get some of the joy back into the sale? I will say one happy buyer or seller makes up for a lot of unhappy ones. There is real satisfaction from the agent's point of view when our client is appreciative and excited about their sale. But I want everyone to walk away with the satisfaction that it turned out well or the best it could be under the circumstances.

What happened to Win-Win?

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Debbie Laity

Cedaredge Land Company - Cedaredge, CO

Your Real Estate Resource for Delta County, CO

I have to agree with Beth. There's that sense of entitlement. I think it started when we started giving trophies to the losing team as well as the winning team.

May 10, 2013 09:09 AM

Dick Greenberg

New Paradigm Partners LLC - Fort Collins, CO

Northern Colorado Residential Real Estate

Hi Debbie - You're right, something basic has changed. We have become much more selfish and confrontational, and it isn't as much fun as it used to be. It's now a really big deal when we get a really nice client or work with a really cooperative agent. I don't think it's just hard times.

May 10, 2013 09:43 AM

Patricia Kennedy

RLAH@properties - Washington, DC

Home in the Capital

Ah, Debbie! Blame it all on those pesky buyer brokers who have shown up over the past twenty or so years! But you're right. Buyers have gotten smarter. Still, having either party feel battered at the settlement table isn't a good thing.

May 10, 2013 10:23 AM

Silvia Dukes PA, Broker Associate, CRS, CIPS, SRES

Tropic Shores Realty - Ich spreche Deutsch! - Spring Hill, FL

Florida Waterfront and Country Club Living

Debbie, good point, I have wondered that myself lately and especially when negotiations stall over a relatively small amount and especially when the list price is more than reasonable in the first place!

May 10, 2013 10:29 AM

Roy Kelley

Retired - Gaithersburg, MD

A sense of fairness in transactions is a strange concept for many in the current generation. Those of us that have been around for a long time can talk about the good old days. We had happier clients before the invention of buyer agency.

May 10, 2013 10:29 AM

Pat & Steve Pribisko

Keller Williams Greater Cleveland West - Westlake, OH

Debbie, I think the "Win-Win" went away with the internet. Two many buyers and sellers read too many posts on the internet and believe them. If only they would do research on the internet and then listen to their Realtor for advice, so the sellers and buyers make logical decisions.

May 10, 2013 10:42 AM

Debbie Reynolds, C21 Platinum Properties

Platinum Properties- (931)771-9070 - Clarksville, TN

The Dedicated Clarksville TN Realtor-(931)320-6730

Noah, We Realtors will always have a place. Just like today some will chose not to use us.

Joan, I bet you are really looking forward to working with them It should be a pleasure.

Connie, How do we get the joy back in the sale? I start out putting it in and something happens along the way.

Barbara-Jo, It is about attitude and playing fair. Some cake is better than no cake at all.

Gary, I had one buyer that loved the house and was satisfied with his negotiation until he found out what the seller was making then he got immediately unsatisfied and wished he had done harder negotiating.

Lenn, I think you hit the nail on the head. When you have two competent agents in the mix guiding the clients you can get so much more done.

Jerry, It can be frustrating. Sorry you couldn't get that one to come together.

Joanna, I don't think I am having much influence on my corner but I am trying.

Beth, It is that way. If they would let us do our job and then listen....

May 10, 2013 11:17 AM

Debbie Reynolds, C21 Platinum Properties

Platinum Properties- (931)771-9070 - Clarksville, TN

The Dedicated Clarksville TN Realtor-(931)320-6730

listen.Debbie, That trophy thing has been going on many years. It was happening when my son was playing T-ball 25 years ago.

Dick, We can't just blame it on tough times and the economy. There have been tough times before.

Pat, I like to see smiles and happy faces. Some won't even speak they are so bummed out.

Silvia, I know what you mean. It seems so petty at times but it's not our money. truly

Roy, I have heard buyers agents say to the prospect if you work with me I will see that you get a really good deal. I guess they are trying to prove it.

Pat and Steve, I present the alternatives on all sides of the negotiations so the client can make a good decision. Now if they would

May 10, 2013 11:26 AM

Tammie White, Broker

Franklin Homes Realty LLC - Franklin, TN

Franklin TN Homes for Sale

Debbie, that's why over the last several years, I was happy to be working with buyers. They seem to be happy no matter what. Sellers, on the other hand, were hard to please. While the tide has turned for the seller, buyers are still happy to get the home in such a competitive market.

May 10, 2013 01:06 PM

Debbie Reynolds, C21 Platinum Properties

Platinum Properties- (931)771-9070 - Clarksville, TN

The Dedicated Clarksville TN Realtor-(931)320-6730

Tammie, you have found your niche. Buyers do seem to be happier than the sellers. Happy Mother's Day Weekend. Are your kids coming home?

May 10, 2013 01:37 PM

Ritu Desai 703-625-4949

Samson Properties - Chantilly, VA

Northern Virginia,Washington DC & Maryland Realtor

Debbie, I agree it take two to tango. There are more situation where one party feels they have been taken advantage of the other and their are hard feelings at the closing table. Wish more professionals have attitude to make things positive and win-win

May 11, 2013 11:05 PM

Debbie Reynolds, C21 Platinum Properties

Platinum Properties- (931)771-9070 - Clarksville, TN

The Dedicated Clarksville TN Realtor-(931)320-6730

Ritu, it does take two. I am like you I wish more had the right attitude.

May 12, 2013 12:17 AM

Michael Jacobs

Pasadena, CA

Pasadena And Southern California 818.516.4393

Hi Debbie - it's a good question and one I have asked as well -- so much of life(not just real estate) has become WII-FM -- what's in it for me. I guess part of what we are seeing is human nature but overall I still believe most transactions turn out with happy parties on both sides.

May 12, 2013 01:33 AM

Maureen Bray Portland OR Home Stager ~ Room Solutions Staging

Room Solutions Staging, Portland OR - Portland, OR

"Staging Consultations that Sell Portland Homes"

Debbie ~ Perhaps, sadly, it's a reflection of our society at large. People feel entitled to many things they may not have earned .... but all we can do on a daily basis is provide the best service possible and maintain an optimistic attitude.

May 12, 2013 02:46 AM

Brad MacKenzie

Brad MacKenzie - Duxbury, MA

Turning Houses into Homes on the South Shore

I think things have gotten worse since the I-years of the 80's. Somehow some people have learned from the bad examples around us that greed and uncompromising self-interest is the only way to play.

May 12, 2013 08:21 AM

Jill Sackler

Charles Rutenberg Realty Inc. 516-575-7500 - Long Beach, NY

LI South Shore Real Estate - Broker Associate

There doesn't seem to be any balance anymore. Ideally, everyone should walk away happy from the negotiations table.

May 12, 2013 08:26 AM

Patricia Kennedy

RLAH@properties - Washington, DC

Home in the Capital

Hey, Debbie! I included this post in today’s Last Week’s Favorites. Please drop by and check it out, and and enjoy the rest of your weekend!

May 12, 2013 09:02 AM

Debbie Reynolds, C21 Platinum Properties

Platinum Properties- (931)771-9070 - Clarksville, TN

The Dedicated Clarksville TN Realtor-(931)320-6730

Michael, It is the thing about society I like the least. It is at all levels.

Maureen, I try not to think about this side of things and just do my thing which is focus on good real estate service.

Brad, I agree. It is a sad state of affairs.

Jill, That is what I would like to see but of course it won't happen.

Hi Pat, Yes I saw that and feel so special to be included.

May 12, 2013 10:21 AM

Debbie Reynolds, C21 Platinum Properties

Platinum Properties- (931)771-9070 - Clarksville, TN

The Dedicated Clarksville TN Realtor-(931)320-6730

Erica, Everyone wants to be the winner. Unfortunately it sometimes has to be at other's losses.

May 12, 2013 11:40 AM

Gabe Sanders

Real Estate of Florida specializing in Martin County Residential Homes, Condos and Land Sales - Stuart, FL

Stuart Florida Real Estate

Yes, it seems to be a reflection of today's attitudes and society. And, it's not something that is very attractive.

May 12, 2013 08:50 PM

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Debbie Reynolds, Broker, AHWD, CRS, Green, GRI, MPI, SFR (931)320-6730 Specializing in new construction and luxury properties in the Clarksville TN and Montgomery County TN.

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