When I ask people this question they usually say ,"Well, BOTH, of course!!!!"
I still vividly remember 30+ years ago when I was in a self improvement seminar and the presenter was talking with a man about some issues that he had with his mother. He and his mother had stopped speaking to each other. The trainer asked the man if he would rather be right or have a mother. BANGO!!!!!
I immediately thought about my relationship with my previous two husbands…For me, it had been all about being right and I lost both relationships. I was ready to do it differently, but giving up being right looked like forsaking some important part of who I was.
However, when I really saw the high cost of what I was doing..killing off people and relationships….I was ready to see another possible way of approaching it.
Would I rather be right or happy?
I am grateful for that insight and know I wouldn't have had the 35 years with husband, Bub, if I'd continued to be rigid in my view. He would have been ex-husband #3 !!!
There are times the battle isn't worth fighting!
And, as I get wiser (and older) there are more and more of these!
There are times when insisting I am right (even when I am!) isn't worth the harm to the relationship! Almost Always!
There are times that happy is just a better place to be!
This one is also…Almost Always!
Would I rather be right or happy?
Life is short. You never know how much time you've got. I am more appreciative of this than ever these days. I'm missing the friends that I am losing! Last month, a WCR friend, Jeri Jorgenson and a personal friend, Mike Speiss, passed away within days of each other... reminding me to be grateful each morning when I wake up on this side of the grass! I especially don't want to leave unsaid words to express my love to those who are special to me or to leave a conversation in a bad way. What if I never saw that person again?
Lastly, I know what shows up in my reality has some lesson attached to it (like it's really a gift) I need to learn….so I am trying to find it when those situations happen!
Recently, when another agent yelled at me, accused me of being dishonest and unethical…it took me a few hours to stop my outrage and righteousness and ask myself why this was showing up. I realized she loved this industry as much as I did and when she saw something she thought hurt the industry, she became passionate. I had to appreciate that and love her for it. She felt her interpretation was right (even though it wasn't according to our MLS research) and wanted to make the industry better. Although, as my wonderful broker said,"I thought we were supposed to work together" rather than getting abusive…..It was a good lesson in remembering to take responsibility and see that I had a choice in my reactions. Besides, I was getting lots of agreement with others in making her wrong that just kept the negative energy going round and round. Once I realized she was just fighting for something she believed in, I could just be happy instead of victimized!
Would you rather be right or happy? Is there anywhere in your life or anybody where things are strained? Can you forgive or just accept and be a little happier? Can you say I'm sorry first? Can you forgive?
Life is Too Short to not be Happy!
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