Learning how to communicate, one conversation at a time...

Communication is not Universal

I must admit, it’s all my fault.  Just like the dog whisperer says that it’s never the dog’s fault, it’s never the child’s fault or the client’s fault either.  Here’s where I went wrong, “How did you do on the test yesterday?”  How is a teenager supposed to answer that?  Seriously, what was I thinking?

My first error was not identifying to which test I was referring to.  I mean, duh?  How is a teenager supposed to remember the test he took yesterday?  Which class?  Which test? He may not even know what day it is today…

My second mistake was the, “how did you do” part.  I mean, of course, the test hasn’t been graded yet, so how would he know how he did?

Here’s how this went down:

“How did you do on the test yesterday,” asked a clueless mom of three teenage boys.

“What test?” asked the normal teenage boy. 

The oblivious mom answered, “The one we studied for, the one in science.”

“How would I know?”, Next was a big sigh and grimacing face, “It hasn’t been graded yet.”

What happened next is right out of the, “What not to do” book.  The ignorant mom that was indeed totally at fault said, very sarcastically (yet another mistake), “Well, when I take a test, I usually get a clue that, hey I know these answers, or, oh no, I am so lost.”  Then she went further with, “Why can’t you just communicate with me?” 

Seriously mom, what were you thinking?

  We must teachthe teenage person how to communicate.  It’s like teaching an old dog a new trick but you can’t expect the dog to know what you want until you communicate it first. 

The same goes with business; you must change your communication style and attributes to fit the group or person you are speaking to.  Your client is not an agent so telling them that you will do a free ‘CMA’ (that's a Comparative Market Analysis of your property) doesn’t mean squat to them.  You must know who you are speaking to, before you start speaking.  Do you research, know your audience, speak at their level and leave the jargon at the office.

Here’s what I should have said to begin with, “Good morning son, yea it’s Friday!  I am so proud of you and you look so handsome today. (A little flattery helps break the ice sometimes)  Hey, how do you feel that you did on the test in science, yesterday, on hereditary genetics that you and I studied for?” 

See the difference?  It is specific, precise and a teenager will know where in their huge assiduous brain to go for an answer.

Would the communication have gone better if I started off with that?  I don’t know, I can only guess.  It depends on how much sleep the teenager had, how low his blood-sugar was and how well he feels he actually did on the test, but I will tell you that even us old dogs need to learn some new tricks!

Never stop learning, never stop trying, never stop succeeding...

 Written by Heather Stevenson

Laurie Satushek Team

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