My ideal traffic report

 I have been hearing reports of slow traffic all day, but why?  Salt trucks and plows have been busy, the roads are not icy, haven't been since I got on them at 7:30 this morning.  My theory  is that we have a lot of people who haven't seen, let alone driven in any amount of snow in their life, so they panic and drive like a  95 year old caterac patient. 

I would propose that the traffic report goes something like this:  Native born residents with 4 wheel drive vehicles will be released to the roads for the first hour, begining at 7:00 this morning.  At 8:00, the native born residents with regular vehicles will be given a half hour head start on the folks who moved here from points south  who own 4 wheel drive vehicles.  At 9:00 those transplanted residents, from points south, who have regular cars may begin their morning commute because the rest of us have already finished our email, voicemail, coffee, morning meeting and are making lunch plans, to begin about the time you arrive at work and no longer pose a problem for us.

The end of the day report would begin the same, with the appropriate times inserted, but end...because the rest of us are enjoying a family dinner while you slide around on the roads without us to bump into.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.